


"I Think I'm Falling For You, Dean Winchester"

by KnightofHell_Cami, red4leader



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom!Cas, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Teenagers, F/M, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Psychological Trauma, bottom!Dean, destiel au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-02-25 07:51:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 75,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2614061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightofHell_Cami/pseuds/KnightofHell_Cami, https://archiveofourown.org/users/red4leader/pseuds/red4leader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Senior year had just started.</p><p>I mean, it was fine, but for Cas, it was hell. </p><p>So again, senior year had just started and Cas was just some boring, unnamed, unknown new kid that year. The year was 1968 and it could not have been more hot and sticky and gross outside because fuck, all the girls couldn’t wear skirts above their knees and everyone was sweating and the halls smelled like sweat and musk and everything in between.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Senior Year Had Just Begun

**Senior year had just started.**

I mean, it was fine, but for Cas, it was hell.

So again, senior year had just started and Cas was just some boring, unnamed, unknown new kid that year. The year was 1968 and it could not have been more hot and sticky and gross outside because fuck, all the girls couldn’t wear skirts above their knees and everyone was sweating and the halls smelled like sweat and musk and everything in between.

And Cas had to take down notes because this school was a whole unit ahead of his previous school, and if he didn’t, then he would come home to angry dad and leave home the next day with bruises and scars. So he sat there, in class, hoping to god he didn’t make a mistake as he wrote down notes (which he did, multiple times) and nobody even gave a second look at him.

                                                  So yes, it was senior year, in the second week of school and he was the least popular kid to have ever walked these halls. So of course, he was bullied, as usual when he moved to a new school. This time, it was in some small town called Lawrence, Kansas rather than most of the big cities he had been in for his whole life. So when the day came that he tripped on accident in the middle of his high school hallway, the two second and third scariest kids in the school just had to be there to see it.

                                                  _Fuck_ , the blue-eyed boy thought to himself, desperately trying to find his glasses that had fallen on the floor along with his books. Raphael and Lucas stood watching in amusement, but rather than just standing there, Raphael came over and leant down to his level, not bothering to help him with any of his books. “Get up, _faggot,_ ” He had said, Lucas chuckling from somewhere off to the side.

Cas didn’t reply.

Bad idea.

Raphael kicked him in the stomach, immediately causing the smaller boy to groan in pain. Soon, Lucas had joined in and kicked Cas in the nose, hard and painful. Cas could tell his nose had broken. And then came the scariest boy in the school, the boy every girl wanted, and the boy every guy fled from. All he had to do was look at Raphael and they ran, hurrying away so he wouldn’t smash their faces in.

                                                  “Name’s Dean Winchester and uh. . . you’re bleeding.”

 

Cas couldn’t be more surprised.

He’d only been in this school for two weeks and he already knew he Dean Winchester was – he was dangerous, he was feared, he was- _oh my god, he has sex hair._ _Wait . . . why the fuck did I think that?_ And suddenly, Dean Winchester had picked up Cas’ glasses from the ground and handed his books to him after helping him up. “I’m gonna take you to the nurses’ office. Mind if I get your name?” He had asked in that sexy deep voice of his. “Castiel Novak, though, everyone calls me Cas.” “Nice to meet ya Cas,” Said the most dangerous person in the school. “Uh.. bye!” The boy suddenly ran quickly away from Dean once he they had reached the nurses’ office. “Well okay then, Cas.” And he walked away, not seeing that boy for another week.

 


	2. Everyone Loves A Good Movie

**Dean had found him on the corner of West Bakers street when Cas had yelled from the opposite side of the road at him and then rode his bike over to Dean.**

“I wanted to ask why you had er, saved me, from Raphael and Lucas last week. I mean, it’s not like you’re the scariest kid in the school or anything.” He had said the end of his statement sarcastically, although it came out a little serious. “Well, Cas, you looked pretty bad down there on the ground so I stepped in. Besides, you’re kinda hot.”              

                                                  Cas had blushed, his face turning as red as a tomato. Dean had known it was a very tricky thing – telling a boy that they were hot in 1968 – but he still went for it. He had that sort of gut feeling that it was the right thing to say, and it was, because Cas didn’t call him a faggot for saying so. And after a very awkward silence, Cas finally spoke up. “I’m going to drop my bike off at my house. It’s about a block away so just stay here.” And there he went, suddenly disappearing from Dean’s green-eyes once again.

Meanwhile, Cas had dropped his bike off at his house, along with his bag of books and ran like hell back to Dean. When he got there, he was panting, taking long heavy breaths. “So . . .” He had to pause to catch his breath. “Wanna go see a movie or something’?” Cas asked. He’d never felt more confident on asking someone out on a date, because his whole brain just went “what the hell” and he did it.

“Sure.” He had said, beaming, showing some teeth with his smile. “Just gotta pick up my car from the shop. It’s last year’s version, actually. Father gave it to me for my birthday.” He said as he began to walk. Cas nodded. It must have been a really cool car. Or, at least he hoped. _C’mon Cas, you know this. Dean is super dangerous, why the fuck wouldn’t he have an awesome car?_ He thought to himself.

Eventually, they reached the shop and Dean took out his keys, opening the door for Cas before moving over to the drivers’ seat. Cas had already settled inside of the car and put on the seatbelt, in awe of how cool the car was. “Your dad must be amazing, Dean Winchester,” Cas said with a cocky smile. He didn’t know why, but the name Dean Winchester fell perfectly off those cupid-bow lips of his, so rather than just calling him Dean, he felt as though Dean Winchester were more appropriate. But Dean didn’t question it because he secretly loved it just as much as Cas had. Eventually, they had left the shop and Dean had begun driving with no seatbelt on but Cas didn’t mind because he also had a secret in which he loved feeling dangerous.

They rode in silence.

Dean could not have thanked God as much as he did when he had gotten out of the car because that had been the most awkward car ride in his entire life.

“The movie I want to see is called Supernatural. It’s about these two sisters and an angel that fight demons and such. It’s scary, but it sounded really good based upon what I’ve heard.” Cas said as they walked into the shabby little movie theatre. It must have been the only one in the entire town, yet they were only two of five other people seeing the movie.

Cas had led Dean to the very top row of seats after buying popcorn and pop.

Cas had put his arm on the arm rest.

Dean slowly moved his hand up to Cas’ tracing his hand, discovering the shape of the blue-eyed boys’ skin, getting to know it in a way. He wasn’t being sexual or trying to tickle him but just slowly moving the tips of his fingers along the bones of his hands and Cas didn’t even flinch. He just smirked and continued to watch the movie.

Eventually Dean had stopped and just held Cas’ hand, fingers intertwined with Cas’. And so they sat, watching that scary horror movie in that small movie theatre, in that small town in that little state with not a care in the world.

 

 

And eventually came a jump scare.

Dean didn’t even flinch as the older sister cut a vampire’s head off, but Cas definitely did.

He jumped, instinctively grabbing Dean’s arm with his free hand, the other squeezing the one that was holding Dean’s. His head was then buried into the crook of Dean’s neck, not wanting to look at what was happening in the movie because wasn’t as dangerous as he hoped he could be.

And Dean loved it, the feeling of Cas’ warm breath sending chills down his spine, Cas’ hand on the muscle of his arm, Cas’ other hand squeezing tight, not letting go. “Is it over yet?” Cas had asked. Dean turned at looked down at the boy who had their head in the crook of his neck. “It’s over now, Cas . . .” He cooed soothingly and took Castiel’s chin with two fingers and leant his head out of his neck only to raise it up to Dean’s mouth, setting a soft, slow, and gentle kiss onto the lips of that blue-eyed 17 year old boy.

Cas immediately relaxed and closed his eyes, sinking into the kiss with all his heart. Dean was normally rough about things, y’know, with the girls he had dated. But those were just some girls that went to his school that he dated just for a couple weeks or a couple months at the most. He could tell Cas was different, though, by the way he was just so comfortable around him. Like he could just say anything and Cas wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow. So they sat there, kissing as the end credits rolled, and suddenly the lights in the theatre came on and they wouldn't risk being caught by something so they left each others’ grasp, smiling, Cas biting his lower lip.

When they got back out to the impala, Dean had said, “So you uh . . . liked the movie, I’m guessing?” and Cas had answered with a smile, “Yes, I most definitely did, Dean Winchester.”

                                                  And with that, Dean had driven him home, letting Cas guide him to his little old his in this little old town. Before he had gotten out of the car, Cas smiled and turned to Dean before leaning in and kissing him again. “Thanks for the movie, _Winchester_.” He got out of the car without saying another word, before Dean could answer as well. Dean had watched him with those green eyes of his walk up the stairs to his house and before Cas opened the door, he turned around and smiled at Dean, who he knew would someday be the death of him, before walking inside.

The last thing Dean had thought of that night was Cas. All through dinner, while he was listening to Led Zeppelin, and when he went to bed.

Cas had thought of Dean with every breath he took. He’d never felt this before – such a flutter of butterflies in his stomach to the point where he couldn’t sleep. All he could feel was those lips against his, those fingers brushing against his, and those green eyes staring into his own blue ones. And he could not be more happy about it.

 

 

 

**A month passed by. It was November. Cold had fallen over the state of Kansas.**

Cas showed up to school in a red wool sweater and jeans. Dean was in that leather jacket of his, as always, and he was seated in the back of the class. Cas had walked over and sat down next to him, smirking, loving every moment that he shared with Dean. “Hiya, Winchester.” “Hey, Cas,” Dean looked up with a toothy grin. But then the teacher came in and told the class to stop talking so they did.

Dean took out a piece of paper from his notebook and wrote, _so does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?_ And passed it over to Cas.

Cas smiled as he read it and wrote, _Fuck yes, Winchester,_ before passing it back to Dean.

 _Gonna have to kiss that dirty little mouth of yours, Cas._ He wrote back with a smile, surprised at reading the curse written on the paper.

 _Gonna have to wait until after school, though, Winchester._ He wrote, teasing, passing it back to him.

Dean didn’t write anything back though, which made Cas wonder what he was planning. And soon did the bell ring, allowing Cas and Dean to pick up their books and leave the classroom. Dean, who had gotten tired of wanting to kiss Cas but couldn’t, suddenly pulled Cas into the janitor’s closet. “Dean, we’ll be la-.” Cas had started to say exactly that, but Dean had caught his lips with his before he could finish his sentence.

Cas laughed into the kiss has he pushed Dean against the wall, not roughly, but just to get a little more leverage with what he was doing. Cas then pulled away, and leaned back in, but rather than going for the mouth, he began kissing Dean’s neck, nibbling, and sucking just enough to have Dean have to wear his collar up the rest of the week.

“Fuuuck, Cas . . .” Dean had said, letting out a long, pleasure filled sigh. Cas smiled at that, his hands traveling down Dean’s chest before reaching his belt and unbuckling it. He unzipped his pants and slid them down to his knees before pulling away and stopping the kisses on Dean’s neck. Suddenly, he had kneeled down in front of the bulge in Dean’s boxers, his hands on Dean’s waist, smiling up at the boy above him. “Gonna make you feel good, Dean,” He said before pulling down Dean’s boxers smirking.

He then licked up Dean’s shaft, repeatedly, agonizingly slow. Cas looked so innocent with those preppy clothes and glasses, when in reality, he loved teasing people past their breaking point.

Finally, he put his whole mouth around his full length. Dean let out the hottest moan just as he did so. Cas never left eye contact from Dean. He bobbed his head on Dean’s length. He started to feel him swell up, about to come.

Suddenly, the bell rang.

Cas abruptly removed his mouth from Dean’s dick and placed his hand on it, jerking him off once, twice, three times before pulling Dean’s boxers up, leaving Dean on the edge of orgasm. “Best be getting to class, _Winchester_ ,” He said, giving that famous cocky smile of his. Swiftly, he picked up his books and left the janitor’s closet without another word.

Dean groaned after his boyfriend. “Oh come on! Cas!” he whined, then took a minute to take few deep breaths and calm down a bit. Dean could still feel the uncomfortable hard on in his pants and tried to cover it up with his books. _Oh, I am so going to get him back._ He thought.

Dean growled grumpily to himself after he got to his next class and sat down in the back as always.


	3. Tie Me Up, Winchester

The rest of the day, Dean didn’t talk to Cas, and each time they saw each other, Cas gave the cockiest grin he could have given. When the school day ended, Dean was waiting for him at the front of the school and led him to the impala without saying a word. As Dean began driving, Cas couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“What are you going to do, not talk to me the rest of the ride because I left your cock hanging dry in the janitor’s closet earlier?” Cas teased. The only thing he could possibly think of was Dean pulling into an empty ally and finishing up what they had started, except this time, Dean was angrier and he found a tie under the seat of his car and decided it was time he used it.

Meanwhile, Dean had eyed Cas suspiciously then turned his head back towards the road. He wasn’t sure of what of what Cas was planning exactly, so he pressed a bit harder onto the gas pedal to hurry up and get home. He didn’t know what to expect from Cas’ darker side.

“Fine, don’t talk to me then. Guess you don’t want me sucking you off for another two weeks.”

And that’s when Dean just couldn’t help himself. They were a block away from Dean’s house, where all the abandoned ones were. He slammed on the brakes and pulled into a ruined driveway. He turned to Cas and narrowed his eyes, his pupils blown with lust. Suddenly, he grabbed Cas by the shirt and dragged him over the leather seats. “I’m gonna make you beg for me.” Dean purred, then wrapped Cas’ legs around his waist so he could carry him around into the backseats.

“You ever been tied up, Cas?” he asked nonchalantly, picking up a silky, royal blue toe that had randomly appeared on the floorboards a few months ago. Cas had shook his head, staring into Dean’s lustful eyes. He didn’t think Dean would go this far for revenge, but hell, he loved it.

“Do it.”

“Tie me up.”

“Make me yours.”

Dean had suddenly climbed over Cas and used the tie to bind Cas to the door’s handle. He made sure it was loose enough not to dig into Cas’ skin. He reached under his seats and rifled around until he found a bottle of lube. “Won’t use my cock or anything, but I’m gonna make you moan by name.” Dean breathed into Cas’ neck before planting a kiss and pulling back to slick his fingers.

Cas let out a breathy moan. “Jesus Dean, just put your fingers in me already . . .” He begged, helplessly tied to the and fuck, if it didn’t turn him on anymore than it could have – being tied up by Dean Winchester of all people. Dean had replied after he finished slicking his fingers. “No way,” he said huskily then undid Cas’ pants with his clean hand and then yanked them down to the dark-haired boy’s ankles.

He brushed his lubed fingers against Cas’ hole before pressing one in and searching for that special bundle of nerves. And fuck, Cas moaned. He moaned long, loud and unashamed. Eventually, Dean’s single finger hit his prostate, and he screamed. He fucking screamed because Dean Winchester had a finger up his ass. “Fuuuuuck, Dean . . .” He groaned out, eyes closed. “More, please, Dean, more . . .” He begged, needing to be able to touch himself although he couldn’t.

Dean had smiled down at the writhing Castiel and slid the other finger in as well. He pressed them both onto Cas’ prostate and massaged it. “Gonna make you come without touching your dick,” Dean said smugly, enjoying the sound of his name on Castiel’s lips. “This is for giving me blue balls, Cas.” He purred darkly, rolling Cas’ name of his tongue.

“Unnghhh . . .” He moaned, needing to be touched but knew that wasn’t going to happen. “Dean,” He said, breathily. “Please, Dean . . .” He begged once again, aching to be touched. Dean had suddenly pressed harder into Cas. “I’m gonna do this every time you leave me hangin’, Cas.” Dean said plainly, the leaned over Cas and planted lingering kisses across his chest. He paid extra attention to Cas’ nipples then continued down to his sternum and onto his stomach.

 “Come on, Cas, how much longer you gonna last?” He said teasingly, wiggling his fingers. Cas was wriggling under Dean, needing another finger to bring him to orgasm. He could, of course, come from just two fingers, but three would make him come harder and faster. The bad thing is, Dean is probably going to make this as slow as possible. “Dean . . . Need, need, need more . . . Dean, please,” he said until it was just a mess of  “Dean” and “Please” and sexy moans spilling off of his lips.

Dean studied Cas’ reactions, then decided to be merciful. He pushed in the thired finger in and thrusted all three back and forth and hit Cas’ g spot head on forcefully. After a bit, Dean kissed his way back to Castiel’s face. “Come for me, Cas.” He breathed, placing his lips onto his boyfriend’s again.

“Dean . . . Dean . . ! Dean, I’m coming, I’m coming!” Cas screamed as he came, eyes shut tight, wriggling under Dean as he rode out his orgasm. He came all over Dean’s back seat and his face. “Fuuuuck,” He moaned breathily.

He saw stars.

 

 

 

 

 **Cas had found Dean after the next day school, waiting for him in that leather jacket of his, smiling with his perfect white teeth.** “Hey, Cas.” He said with a smile, wanting to take his hand and kiss him, but he couldn’t because all the people were around the two to see. “I had an idea. We could maybe go to the park, y’know, if you wanted. Just walk around and talk.” Dean suggested shyly as they walked to impala. “Sure.” Cas beamed. He liked nature and the park, but didn’t like the cold at all really, but as long as he was with Dean, he couldn’t care less.

So they drove to the park, talking about what had happened in school that day.

And when they got there, not a single person was in sight due to the cold weather of Lawrence, Kansas. They got out of the car, Cas brushing his arms as a cold wind brushed past them. Dean quickly took Cas’ hand before the confidence left him and smiled when he felt the warmth of Cas’ hand in his.

 

 

So they talked.

They talked about the little things in life, like how beautiful that tree was, although it was rotting away.

They talked about their favorite season.

They ranted about school, laughing, and as they did so, Cas would lean against Dean, putting his hand against his shirt to steady himself from falling over laughing, which secretly Dean had loved a little too much.

They told each other their dirty little secrets, the little things they never told anyone. And somehow, not a single thing was awkward. It was as if they’d known each other for years, but somehow, they’d met just a couple months ago. **It was a million tiny little things that when you added them all up, they meant they were supposed to be together . . . and they knew it.**

And eventually, they sat down on a park bench and Dean had wrapped an arm around Cas to keep him warm when Cas had rubbed his arms again. **“So, Dean Winchester. This is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”** He said poetically, words falling beautifully from his cupid-bow lips. And that’s when Dean leant in and kissed him, just like he did in the theatre on their first date.

And it was a warm kiss.

Gentle on Cas’ lips.

It wasn’t like Dean was trying to be sexual or anything, no, not at all. ‘Cause this was Cas and he knew they fit together perfectly like a puzzle piece lost in the wrong box.

“You make me smile, Cas.” He added after leaning back and staring into his eyes. “You make me want to make you smile, Dean Winchester.” Cas said in return, taking Dean’s hand in his.

**This is the boy he knew he would love. He was a little messy and a little ruined, but he was a beautiful disaster. Just like himself.**

****


	4. It Felt Like Love

**The next day, they had to study for a test.**

A very, very hard test.

So when Cas showed up in Dean’s car after he had waited for him, he said, “Wanna go study?” And continued with “You told me your brother wasn’t home, anyways, right?” Dean chuckled. “Touché. And of course we can go study.” He kissed Cas’ forehead gingerly beginning to drive away from the school.

Once they had gotten to his house, they walked in, Cas spanning the one-story house with those blue eyes of his. “So . . . Do you want a hamburger or something?” He asked.  “Sure.” Cas had said in reply as he dropped his bag of books on the couch. He wondered over to the record player and smiled. “So what kind of music do you like?” He asked with a smile, sifting through records. “Rock and roll!” he cheered as he pulled meat out of the ice box and got the pan and seasonings ready.

“You have the best records here, y’know.” Cas commented before putting on some Elvis and moving in front of the couch, sitting on the off white carpet of Dean’s house. “I try my best,” Dean teased before finishing the burgers and taking one over to Cas. “You like Elvis?” He had read the cover of the record as he walked over to meet Cas on the carpet, sitting in front of him with his back turned. “’Course I like Elvis. And Dean, these burgers are amazing.” Dean smiled at that, not saying anything due to his mouth being filled to the brim with the cheeseburger he had made for the two.

When they both finished, the song had changed and Cas had pulled out a book and pencil to study.

Dean sang to the tune.

“Take my hand, and my whole life too.” He murmured, those green eyes shutting tiredly.

Cas suddenly dragged Dean over to him, Dean’s head landing in the middle of Cas’ cross-legged lap.

“And I can’t help falling in love with you . . .” He finished Dean’s sentence, looking down at the boy who had his head in his lap.

Dean’s eyes had snapped when he was moved, but of course, relaxed when his head was pillowed by Cas. He smiled up at him, then went back to singing. “Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be.” He continued.

“Take my hand—“ he paused and moved a hand from Dean’s neck to take Dean’s hand. “—And my whole life too, for I can’t help falling in love with you.” He smiled down at Dean, slowing closing his eyes and leaning down, kissing him softly.

Dean had smiled into the kiss, pushing him back slightly, only to say with closed eyes, “What happened to studying, nerd?” By then, he had relaxed into Cas’ lap,eyes closed lightly.

Cas had chuckled softly and kissed Dean’s forehead, leaving his one hand in Dean’s, his other resting against Dean’s neck to keep his head steady. **_“I think I’m falling for you, Dean Winchester.”_** He said against Dean’s lips. He had thought Dean was asleep, but really, Dean was just conscious enough to smile back at Cas’ confession.

Dean didn’t know how Cas did it, but he had gotten Dean to fall for him very quickly. He let out a small purr just before actually falling asleep.

And Cas couldn’t be more peaceful like this, a book in his hands and Dean Winchester in his lap. It was true, y’know. He really had fallen for him.

 

 

 

 

 **The next Monday,** when Cas had gotten to school, he wouldn’t say a word to Dean. He wouldn’t even let him see his face. He just went throughout his day as if he were just another student who wanted to nothing with Dean Winchester, the “scariest boy in the entire high school”.

Meanwhile, Dean had repeatedly tried to talk to Cas in their first class, then again in the passing periods of school, but each time Cas just brushed him off or looked the opposite direction. After school, Dean waited for Cas to come out then came up behind him. “Castiel.” Dean pleaded, putting a hand on his shoulder to turn him around, although he still couldn’t get a clear look at Cas’ face. “Please Cas, what’s wrong? I don’t know what I did, but I’m so sorry . . .” he said desperately, trying to get Castiel to look at him in the eye.

Cas didn’t say anything.

A single tear slowly streamed down his cheek.

He slowly turned to look at Dean in the eye.

He had a black eye and a bruise on his left cheek that was swollen purple and blue and maybe even green, but god, it wasn’t pretty.

There was a scar across his lip that was swollen around the edges, as well.

 

 

Dean had instantly teared up. He gently brushed his finger tips against the bruises. “Cas . . .” he breathed then glared at his split lip. “Did Raphael and Lucas do this to you?” he growled, his shoulders setting. “I will RIP their LUNGS OUT!” He hissed, looking around for the culprits but Cas had steadied him with a shaky arm.

“Dean . . .” Cas said, also tearing up. “Dean, stop it, you can’t do anything about it.” “To hell I can’t, Cas!” Dean growled, still looking around for the bullies. Rage had coursed through Dean’s veins, making his vision sharpen from the adrenaline.

He was going to beat those two into a bloody, pulpy mess.

But then Cas had commented once again.

“Dean, it wasn’t Raphael or Lucas.” Cas was trying to keep it all in, trying to not let the tears to all come out right at this moment. “Dean, it was my father, Dean . . . My father . . .” He said, shaking. Each pause he had made, he shifted on his toes. The tears came down a little faster now.

Dean instantly softened.

“Oh, Cas . . .” He whispered softly. No one was there by then, so he gently pulled him into a warm hug. “I gotcha Cas. You can stay the night if you want.” He murmured into his ear, softly and just audible enough for Cas to hear.

 And then it happened.

Oh god, it happened, because he wrapped his arms around Dean and pressed his face into the crook of his neck, tears pouring down his face. “He just drinks so much, Dean, and I can’t, I just can’t . . .” His voice was muffled, shaking, and cracking, but it was still understandable. “He hits me so hard sometimes, Dean . . .”

“I got you Cassie, I’ll keep you safe, baby.” Dean murmured gently into Cas’ temple before giving it a long kiss. He had kept his arms wrapped firm around the shorter boy who was shook with sobs. “I love you, you know that?  I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Dean ran a hand through the hair that was in the back of Cas’ heading, trying to get him to calm down enough to get to the impala.

By the time Cas had gotten to the impala, he could barely breath.

It was the kind of crying where you started to hyperventilate.

Where you wanted to stop but all that anger and rage just started pouring out and you just _couldn’t stop._

He had taken hold of Dean’s shirt, curling his fingers into it, his head buried in his neck, and fuck, if Dean’s neck wasn’t soaked with Cas’ tears but Dean couldn’t care less.

“I’ll take care of you, Cas, and I’ll take care of your father, too. Just say the word.” Dean said as he drove quickly to his house. The anger he felt towards Castiel’s father was surfacing, and he really didn’t want Cas to see it. He’d seen enough anger and pain already because of that man.

But Cas couldn’t talk, so he nodded and when he got to Dean’s house, he walked into Dean’s room and lied down on the bed, crying himself to sleep. The scent of Dean on the pillows helped to calm him just barely, but still, he cried terribly hard.

And when Dean walked in, he had let Cas use his stomach as a pillow, Cas sleeping on top of him, his shoulders propped against the headrest. By then, Cas was snoring softly, his chin rested against the middle of his collar bone.

Dean loved sleeping with Cas. Not fuck, well, that too, but sleeping just like this, in the most innocent sort of way, was amazing. Because the feeling of Cas’ chest rising and falling against his was like heaven and Cas’ hair felt like silk and his breath running down his chest sent chills down his spine.

And the way he fell asleep against him was just so amazing he couldn’t even explain it in words. It felt like love.

That’s the word.

It felt like love.


	5. Twister, anyone?

**The next day,** the two had slept for about 10 hours peacefully in each other’s arms.

Dean had woken up before Cas, smiling as he felt him against his chest.

Their legs were tangled together, and Dean couldn’t love the feeling of skin against skin more than he did now. “Cassie, wake up . . .” He murmured into mess of Cas’ hair that rested just below his neck. Cas groaned in reply, shifting where he laid and smacking his lips. “C’mon Cas, you need to eat.” Dean had added, kissing the top of Castiel’s head.

 He didn’t get a reply.

“Y’know, I meant it, Cas. I really do love you.”

And that was when Cas tilted his head up to look at Dean with those blue eyes of his, and smirked, blinking away the sleep from them. Cas didn’t say anything as he leant upwards and kissed Dean softly on the lips.

 “Guess you’re awake now,” Dean said with a chuckle before brushing his fingers along the scar that was on his cheek. Cas leaned into the touch, closing his eyes at the feeling. Eventually, Cas felt dean sliding out from under him. He had stretched and said, “I’ll go make you some eggs.” before walking into the hall and into the kitchen.

 Cas had decided to get up within the next five minutes and walking into the kitchen, walking up behind Dean, catching him in a hug from behind, wrapping his arms around Dean’s chest. Dean jumped a little because Cas had crept up on him so silently, but then relaxed as his arms were wrapped around his chest.

All Dean had worn was some pajama pants, and all Cas wore was some boxers and a sweater. The sweater brushed against Dean’s back ever so soothingly as he cooked. “How do you like your eggs?” He asked. “Scrambled.” Cas said in reply. It was a little odd because that had been the first word he said the entire morning, but Dean could care less ‘cause Castiel Novak had his arms wrapped gently around his waist and it could not feel more heavenly.

“Here you go, Cas. Scrambled eggs, all for you.” He handed a plate of eggs to Cas, who sadly, had to move his arms from his waist and walk over to the couch. He had set his food down on the coffee table only to put on some music and then walk back. “Come eat with me, Dean,” He said innocently and there was no way Dean could just deny such a pleading face.

He sat close next to Cas, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him closer. “There’s this meadow we could go to and look at the stars. It’s quite the sight, Cas.” He said, staring at Cas’ face in awe. He took that back. Cas was quite the sight. Even with that scar and those bruises, he was still the most beautiful creature to ever roam this Earth. Just looking at him made him think, “Wow, I could never deserve such a guy.” But there he was, sitting on Dean Winchester’s couch, eating scrambling eggs and listening to The Beatles at ten in the morning.

Cas had smiled at the thought. “We can go later. I need some rest.” Cas said and Dean immediately understood. He knew what he had gone through so he didn’t pester him. “We could watch some TV?” Dean suggested, although Cas knew nothing would be on so Cas just shook his head and sighed. “What’s your favorite part about me, Dean?” Cas asked curiously. Dean didn’t even need to think about it to say “Your beautiful blue eyes, Cas.” And that made Cas blush a little, which made him just look all the more adorable than he already was.  

“Make love to me, Dean.” Cas suddenly said, Dean perking up and chuckling. He loved it when he said that, because it sounded so proper and so fancy. He didn’t say anything in reply, just leant in and kissed Cas softly on the lips. He didn’t go too fast though because he knew Cas was still recovering and he knew his face was still swollen and bruised in some places.

“I’ll take it slow.” Dean had promised him. The Novak boy only nodded in reply, knowing  Dean wanted this as much as him, but Dean wanted it rough and hard but he had to hold back for Cas. Only for Cas.

Slowly, Dean took off Cas’ sweater, throwing it across the room, Cas doing the same with Dean’s shirt and smiling softly down to him before engulfing the two back into a deep kiss. Slowly, Cas drifted kisses down Dean’s chest, stopping at Dean’s nipples and licking, biting, and sucking just enough to make Dean fully erect.

Past Dean’s nipples now, he found his belly button, kissed and licked there for a few moments before stopping right above Dean’s waist line and rested his chin there, looking up at Dean as if asking permission to continue. He knew this was Dean but he still felt it was necessary to do so, because that’s what it was like at his father’s house – he would ask permission to do something and he would get a loud, angry “No!” and a slap across the face.

“Fuck, Cas, you can do whatever you want . . .” Dean had said, and they ended up making love slow, just like Cas wanted, falling asleep together, limbs all tangled up on the couch.

They had woken up quite some time later, around 6, actually, and got ready. Dean had grabbed two blankets and made some sandwiches for them to eat whilst they were there. Cas made sure to wear a dark green, fuzzy little sweater and Dean, of course, wore his leather jacket to keep him warm.

It took a good thirty minutes to get to the meadow.

Dean set the blankets down for the two, and it was incredibly cold, so they were huddled close to each other, not even hungry for the sandwiches that must have frozen the instant the basket touched the ground.

The way they just stared into each others’ eyes in such silence was absolutely beautiful. Their noses were brushing against each other’s and their legs had eventually gotten tangled together, Cas being the first one to lean in for a kiss. “I want to make love to you all night long, Dean Winchester.” He cooed into Dean’s lips. Dean chuckled, sighing into the kiss. “But it’s _so cold_.” He teased, although in reality, he really couldn’t be more lustful than he was right now.

Cas smirked at that, pulling down Dean’s pants and boxers just enough for his dick to pop out, just enough for his ass to show. He didn’t even need to stroke him to get him to full hardness, ‘cause fuck, it was 40 Fahrenheit and his cock just stood right up at the sudden cold. Dean had flipped himself over, his ass up, standing on his hands and knees. “Gotta prep you first.” He breathed, taking his fingers and pushing them into Dean’s mouth.

Dean had sucked and licked them until that pair of three fingers that were in his mouth were lathered with saliva. Cas slowly pulled them out of Dean’s mouth before placing the first one into Dean’s hole. “You’re so tight, Dean. Ever even been fucked by a guy before?” Cas mused. Dean shook his head. He’d only ever had his fingers up his ass, and now, knowing that a cock would soon come, he loved it more than he should have.

“Gonna make you mine, Dean.” He said, wiggling his finger before adding another. It brushed against Dean’s sensitive little bundle of nerves, causing Dean to let out an unashamed moan. “You like that? You like having fingers up your ass, Dean?” And all Dean could do in reply was nod his head like a five year old. Cas smirked at Dean’s reactions. “You want me to add another finger?” He said, not knowing if Dean had had more than two fingers in his ass before. “Mhmmm . . .” He moaned to the boy above him, his back sloping downwards , his face pressing into the blanket below him.

Cas gladly obliged, adding the third finger and thrusting them in and out of his ass a few times before pulling them out. Cas had decided to have put his hands back up so Cas could walk over and push his dick into Dean’s mouth. Dean had understood that he couldn’t take Cas in dry, so he decided to suck him as best he could.

“Fuck, Dean . . .” Cas moaned as he was sucked off by the boy below him. He didn’t want him to stop, but he also didn’t want to come without having Dean come first, so he decided to just pull out of his mouth and go back to standing behind Dean. “Gonna fuck you now, Dean, okay? I’ll go slow. Just tell me tell me if you want me to speed up.” He said whilst positioning himself against Dean’s hole before slowly pushing the head in.

“Fuck, you’re still tight after three fingers . . .” Cas had said, watching his length disappear into Dean, who in the meantime, was moaning and had sloped his back down once again. “Love you so much, Dean,” he said, placing his hands on the blonde boys’ hips and continuing to thrust. Dean had tried to say something, but each time he did so, Cas had hit his prostate before slowly thrusting again. Soon, Cas had finally realized what Dean was trying to say.

“Faster, Cas. Jesus, Cas, faster.” Dean mused, rutting against Cas, trying to make him go faster but couldn’t. Cas smirked, speeding up to a rather quick speed, loving every moment of it. “Touch me, Cas,” Dean begged, which earned him a moan ‘cause in that exact moment, Cas had begun to thrust directly onto Dean’s prostate with each movement of his hips. And so, of course, Cas moved one of his hands from Dean’s hip and placed it on Dean’s cock, stroking him with really no rhythm at all.

“Cas . . . Cas, I’m coming!” Dean exclaimed, which meant Cas had sped his movements that were coming from both his hips and his hand to their highest speed. Soon, Dean had come all over the blanket, Cas coming soon after. “Holy shit, Cas, love you so much . . .” Dean growled huskily as Cas pulled himself out of Dean. “Love you, too, Dean Winchester. But uh, it’s freezing, and I think a good idea would be to get back home.” Which Dean could not agree more with.

So they left.

Dean’s ass was sore.

Cas had a smirk on his face the entire ride.

Once they got home, they both had walked slowly into their room and collapsed on their bed.

The clock read 10:24.

They had kicked off their shoes whilst lying down, the same going for Dean and his jacket, but aside from that, they slept fully clothed.

 

 

 

**The next four weeks were slow, aside from Thanksgiving, a holiday they had celebrated happily together.**

But now it was a day before they had to go to school and then leave, only to be free from that hellish place because of Winter Break.

Dean had brought it up after school two days before Winter Break started while Cas laid his head in Dean’s lap.

“I have a cabin out in the forest, y’know. We could go there for Winter Break.”

“Oh, really?” Cas had muttered, liking the idea of being in an old wooden cabin with just Dean for a few days, with not a care in the world.

“You wanna go with me? I mean, it’s a long drive, but-“ Dean had been a little shy and talking a little fast, so Cas leant in and kissed him. “Yes, Dean Winchester, I want to go to your little cabin in the woods with you.” “Did you think I would say no?” Cas continued to say. Dean shook his head. “We leave tomorrow after school, okay?” Suggested the green-eyed boy with a wide grin.  

As of now, they just sort of continued to lie there until they heard the door start to unlock. “Is that .your brother?” Cas’ eyes widened. “Yes, it’s my brother, now act natural!” He exclaimed, not wanting his brother to see Dean with Cas lying with his head in his lap. The only thing gayer they could have done was have been fucking on the couch, which luckily they weren’t doing.

“Eyyyyyyyyyy, Sammmmyyyyy, how was school?” Cas glanced at Dean with a look saying, _yeah, totally natural, Dean. Thanks._ Dean just gave a goofy grin.

 “It was fine?” Sam had said awkwardly, not exactly knowing how to correctly answer Dean’s question before walking past the couch and down the hall, into his room. “Jesus Christ, Dean. You’re gonna have to tell that kid about yourself someday, you know that, right?” Cas muttered, making sure Sam couldn’t hear them from his room. “I know, Cas. Hell, I’ve been thinking about it since the first time I looked at a guy and thought, _holy crap, I would totally suck his dick._ ”

Cas laughed a little too loud, but hell, it really didn’t matter. “I think I’ll go tell him right now. Right here, right now. Just for you, Cas.” He said before giving that sweater-wearing boy a peck on the lips then standing up, taking a deep breath, and walking slowly towards Sam’s room. The only reason Sam was never at his house was because he was always at Bobby’s, his uncles, because Bobby had insisted that it was safer with him.

Hesitating, Dean knocked on Sam’s door.

“Come in.”

Dean walked in, finding him only to be grabbing more clothes from his drawers. He never officially moved in with Bobby, so on occasion, he had to come by and grab some clothes. “I, uh, had to tell you something,” Dean started, Sam looking up at him, confused, wondering what he could possibly be talking about.

Dean took another deep breath before saying, “I’m—“ Sam stopped him. “Yeah, I know, you’re gay, or bisexual or whatever the fuck it’s called. I don’t really care, Dean. You’re my brother, and I think I realized that that guy out there is your boyfriend.”

Dean had no idea Sam had known that much, but of course, Dean knew Sam was smart and he could figure that kind of thing out really easily, so his shoulders relaxed and his breathing steadied.

“Besides, there’s this kid named uh . . . Gabriel in my math class and-“ “Okay, okay, enough! No chick flick moments, remember?” Dean said before walking out of Sam’s room with not a single other word. That had gone surprisingly well. A little too well, but hell, he didn’t care cause about 50 pounds had just been lifted off his broad shoulders. He walked back to Cas with a smirk on his face, and Cas wondering what had gone down within the five minutes he was gone. “We’re all good.” Dean finally said.

“Cool.” Cas leant in and kissed Dean softly before Dean moved away and suggested something to do in the meantime, even with Sam.

**“We should play Twister.”**

****


	6. Days Were Slow

**Twister was definitely a strange game.**

Dean had never understood why on Earth Sam had agreed to this, but he just went with it because this was the only way he could think of to pass some time.

Cas had never played it, so it was completely new to him, but Sam and Dean would always play it together after it got popular, which must have been around ’64, but Dean couldn’t remember anymore.

So Sam had been sitting there at the edge of the twister mat, holding the spinner, legs cross. Dean, who had been incredibly “unlucky”, had his hand under Cas’ middle, which made it all the more interesting until he had to move his hand to behind himself, now almost in a backbend. Just looking at Dean like that, not knowing he was so flexible, astonished Cas, but also made him laugh a little.

Sam spun again.

It was Cas’ turn, and he had to reach his leg the way across the mat, over one of Dean’s hands. They were in a tangled mess now, arms and legs interconnected, both of them trying to hold in the laughs that would make them lose the game. But Dean was the one to break first when his leg had to be put in between Cas’ legs spread legs, his hands coming down on either side of Cas to keep his balance. His head had landed on Cas’ shoulder, who was rather surprised just as much as Dean was.

“You lost, Dean,”  
“Shut up, Sam,” he growled. Sam had quickly gotten up and grabbed his bag. “Dean, I’ll only ever play Twister if you, y’know, don’t grope your boyfriend during the game. I’m leavin’, so, see ya.” Sam was gone before Dean could answer.

“Short lived, as expected,” Cas spoke tenderly to Dean, who in the meantime, had leaned away laughed. “This game could not be more queer,” Dean had joked with a smile, nudging Cas so he would stand up and help him fold up the Twister mat, which he did. Sadly, only an hour had passed.    
“I think a nap would be nice…” Cas muttered.  
“Nap sounds good.”  
“Alright.”  
So, they hobbled over to their bedroom and lied down on that comfortable little bed of theirs, smiling as Dean’s arms were wrapped around Cas and as Cas felt Dean press his nose into his bundle of silky black hair. The clock had read 6:43, but due to the cold that had rolled in early for the 1968Winter of Lawrence, Kansas, the sun had already almost set, which made it much easier for the two to fall asleep without the glare of sun shining through the bedroom window.  And it was perfect.

 

 

**The school day leading up to Winter Break could not have gone any slower.**

Dean had secretly held Cas’ hand under their lunch table, and snuck a quick peck on the cheek before he left for his classes again. He didn’t really pay attention to class. It was all bullshit anyways. But when he was finally let out at the end of the day, he waited in their usual spot, bundled in his leather jacket with the biggest smile.

When Cas had seen Dean at the front of the school, he smiled. Everyone was already gone, happy to be free of school for two weeks. So, once again, he had down in the impala and leant in for a sloppy kiss when Dean got into the car. Dean responded quickly, wrapping one arm around Cas and pulling him closer. “Ready for some fun?” he panted against Cas’ lips, wanting to wait until they were in private to go any further than hot and heavy kisses above the neck. But the mood had changed when his smile began to fade. “I have to run by my house to get clothes for the trip…” He muttered. Dean narrowed his eyes. “Alright. But if he so much as looks at you funny, you get out of there Cas. I mean it.” He ordered, angry at Castiel’s deadbeat dad. He didn’t want Cas to be anywhere near that man, but he knew that it was still his father.

Hopefully his father was passed out so he could easily sneak past him and grab clothes. The hope he had for that was almost as strong as Cas’ love for Dean.  
“I know, Dean.” Cas said, shifting back into his seat. He wanted nothing to do with his father, and as queer as he was for Dean, Cas still prayed to God that his father wasn’t awake. Plus, Cas hadn’t been home in a month. I mean, he had called him to say he was alright just so he wouldn’t come looking for him. But now, he knew that if his father wasn’t passed out on the couch, he would kill him.

Of course, Dean was oblivious to Cas’ thoughts as he grudgingly drove to Cas’ house. “Maybe I should go in with you… just in case.” He said, turning off the ignition and looking at Cas, Cas only to reply with, “I’ll be fine Dean. I promise.” And with that, Cas leaned in an kissed Dean slowly and lovingly. “I love you. If I’m not back within five minutes, come inside.” Cas took a deep breath before stepping out of the car, walking up to the house he feared so much.

Dean watched Cas go with longing and anxiety. He knew Cas’ dad was home by the old Ford sitting in the driveway. He just hoped he wasn’t conscious enough to notice Cas coming inside.  “Be careful, Cas…” He had muttered to himself in the empty Impala before watching Cas disappear into his father’s house.

Cas had walked inside before muttering to himself under his breath. “Shit. Closed the door too loudly.” And that’s when it started.

His father, who was woken up by the sudden noise, stood up and stormed over to Cas. “Where the fuck have you been?!” His father exclaimed, grabbing Cas by the throat and pushing him up against the nearest wall. This was less than good, considering Cas could tell that by the way his words were slurred that he was more drunk than usual… which meant…

Cas’ dad, Chuck, punched him hard across the face, the punch hard enough to leave a bruise. He punched him in the nose and then kneed him in the stomach, causing Cas to drop to the ground, knees buckling in pain. The punches and kicks continued, ranging from in the head, ribs, and stomach, Cas screaming out in pain with each one, none of the screams loud enough to be heard from outside though.  
“You stay right there!” Chuck said while walking into the kitchen.

All while doing so, Cas could tell he had broken his nose and his ribs during the time that he tried to crawl over to door and muttered, “Dean..” but nothing came out. It had been a little over four minutes by now, but Cas never made it to the door by the time his father had reappeared, this time, with a knife in his hand.  
“You haven’t been here in a month and a half, CASTIEL!” He exclaimed, picking his son up by his black hair and pushing him against the wall. Cas’ face was a bloody, pulpy, mess and the floor would be too, soon, if rescue didn’t come because there was a knife against his stomach, and fuck, there’s no way he’ll survive this now.

Dean slowly grew impatient. He knew it hadn’t been five minutes yet, but he didn’t like the thought of Cas being defenseless against his father. So, he got out of the car and walked cautiously to the front door and cracked it open, peeking inside. He instantly growled at the sight of Cas’ father storming towards him with a knife in his hand. Dean didn’t remember thinking about anything, but somehow ended up jumping at Chuck.  
“Dean..” Cas said again, the reaction he got from it was the buckle of his knees once again as he fell to the ground, unconscious, bloody, pulpy, bruised, and all around abused.  
Chuck had laughed at Dean. “Who the fuck are you? Some faggot who’s coming to rescue my queer son?” He said, movements slow, allowing a weak point for Dean. Chuck had thrashed a knife at the Winchester boy, cutting a line across his cheek, not deep enough to leave a scar though. And so, of course, Dean had been used to feeling pain in fights so the cut only felt like a brush of skin. And when Chuck reached for him, Dean grabbed his wrists and twisted, turning his arm in an awkward angle.  
“Exactly.” Dean said with a cocky grin.  
“Now I’m gonna take Cas and fix him up. We’ll be back to get his things, and he’s out of here. If you feel the need to be in the same room as him, I’m callin’ the cops.” His whole demeanor showed that he was in control and wasn’t threatened at all by Cas’ father. He had given him one last shove back.  
“Stay.”  
Dean’s glare was full of anger and hatred for that man, and if anyone were to be looked at like the way he just looked at Chuck, they would run quickly and swiftly away from him.

Soon enough, Dean was ever-so-carefully picking Cas up and walking the unconscious boy to the impala, placing him in the backseat as tenderly as possible. “Gonna get you better, Cas, I promise..” He said, giving the bloody and bruised boy a long kiss on the forehead then went to sit in the drivers’ seat.

The drive to the hospital was long, and Dean had almost been in tears by the time he’d gotten there. “He’s my brother-“ he lied. “Our dad beat him to death.” And with that, the nurses rushed him to one of the hospital rooms, giving immediate attention. Dean had stayed there through the night, holding Cas’ hand from over the hospital bed, whispering sweet-nothings to him just in case that black-haired boy could hear him during that restless sleep he was in.

 


	7. Promises

Cas didn’t wake up until the next day.

  
It was 7 AM when Cas shifted awake.  
Dean, incidentally, had fallen asleep just five minutes before he heard Cas wake up. “Dean…” Cas croaked, but barely anything came out. The nurse, Anna, had told Dean that Cas had broken his nose and two ribs, and that if “their” dad had held him from the throat any longer, he’d have lost is voice too. Of course, when he heard Cas’ voice say his name, he immediately sat up from having his face on the mattress beside Cas’ leg.  
“Hey, Cassie.” Dean answered quietly, a relieved smile on his face as he carefully set his hand onto Cas’.

  
“Dean..” Was Cas’ only response because when he tried to say something else, he couldn’t, and it just came out as air or a squeak. Aside from that, he was able to turn his head, but smiling hurt too much so the only thing he could do was lie there and stare into the beauty in which lies in Dean’s impossibly green eyes. Soon, Cas had realized what he must have looked like with dry blood on his face and purple bruises and scars, which made him turn away from Dean, not wanting him to see him like this. One scar or bruise was bad enough, but this? This was something that if it had lasted just two seconds longer, he would have died and Cas was so so ashamed of it.

  
Dean quickly figured out what Cas had been thinking and stood up. He bent over and followed after Cas’ lips to place a soft kiss onto them. “You’ll be okay as long as I’m around. Might as well get used to me now ‘cause if you haven’t already, I’mma be by your side until I die. Till death do us part, right, Cas?” He breathed with a little smile, showing some teeth to try and sweeten the mood. So with that, Cas nodded, looking back at him until he spoke.  
“Water…”  
The word was barely audible, but still understandable even though Cas’ throat was dryer than the Sahara Desert at the time. This resulted in Dean nodding, turning to the table beside the bed and picked up the glass of water. “Here ya go, baby..” He said as he held it out but paused. “Do you want some help, or…?” He asked, just in case. He didn’t think Cas was too proud to accept help from him, but then again, he’d never seen his baby this bad, and he never wanted to again.

  
Cas nodded.

  
He hated being this weak around Dean, but it’s not like he could just heal himself within a split second and be alright. No. The world was a hard place so Cas took what he could get as Dean placed the rim of glass to his lips and tilted it slightly. “Just take it slow, okay baby?” Dean murmured gently, even though he wanted to spoil his boyfriend with kisses and touches due to knowing that Cas was going to be okay and it made him so happy.

  
Eventually, Cas had taken a few sips, a big gulp, then told him to stop. He had taken a moment to regain his breath then said, “Thanks, Winchester.”  
The words made Dean smile wide, because hearing Cas’ voice completely after not hearing it at all for a day was heart-wrenching. Cas had closed his eyes after that, falling asleep before Dean could answer. And when he realized Cas had fallen asleep again, he placed a kiss on the top of Cas’ mop of hair and returned to resting his head next to Cas. He, eventually, fell asleep as well, and had even started to drool a little. When the nurse came into to check on the two, their fingers had found each others’ and intertwined in their sleep.

And suddenly, Cas woke up, trembling, sweating, and screaming, about seven hours later.  
“Dean!” He had said repeatedly, sitting upright, screaming in agony. Dean had shot to his feet, only to see Cas crying hard in front of him, but the first thing he had done was survey the room with a death glare, then softened his features when he realized what was really happening. “Cas, baby, I’m here. I’m not leaving you, remember?” He cooed, placing Cas’ face in one of his palms. “Calm down, baby, you’re safe.” He placed a kiss on his forehead before repeating to him, “You’re safe” over and over.

  
But the worst part about this whole rodeo was that Cas wanted to wrap his arms around Dean, but he could still barely move. It was a miracle that he had been able to sit upright. “He killed you, Dean.. he killed you right in front of me and I couldn’t do anything about it..” Cas cried, tears streaming down his face. “Don’t take me back there, Dean, never, not ever..” His voice cracked with every word, and not only did it hurt Cas to speak, but it hurt Dean even more to see him so bloody and broken like this. “After you graduate-“ Dean started, stroking Cas’ hair gingerly. “-I promise. Don’t let that douche bag take away your education.” Dean promised. “I love you endlessly.” He sighed with contempt.

  
They didn’t say another word to each, not because they were angry, but just because they could, which Cas had thought was poetic – the silence of two lovers speaking with just their eyes because that’s all you really need to love someone. So, eventually, once again they had fallen asleep, waking up the next morning with fingers intertwined, Cas’ hair a mess and in need of a cleansing. The good thing was that Cas’ bruises had healed tremendously overnight, which Dean liked waking up to because his lips weren’t as swollen when he kissed them softly to wake him up.

  
“Cassie, baby, wake up..” He muttered into forehead, getting a groan in reply. “C’mon, we can go home, y’know. I signed the papers and paid for everything. Nothin’ to worry ‘bout, baby, we just gotta get you home.” Dean mused, staring down at the boy beneath him who had blinked those beautiful blue eyes open and smiled up at Dean.  
“Help me get my clothes on..” He muttered, considering he was still in a hospital gown. Soon enough, Cas was being helped out of the hospital bed, Dean muttering “I gotcha baby,” when he heard Cas groan in pain due to his still broken yet almost healed ribs.  
Soon, Dean had helped Cas step into his pants and help him into his sweater and vest before putting an arm around him, not caring what the fuck people thought of a man carrying another man as they left the hospital. All he cared about was getting Cas home safe, which he succeeded in. “Bed, Dean…” Cas groaned as they entered their little one-story house, now able for Dean to completely pick up Cas and carry him into the bedroom, placing him carefully onto the bed.

Cas slept until the next day, groaning in pain when he shifted to get a more comfortable position. Dean, who had been in the other room, had enough of it.  
He stood up, turned off the TV, and headed into their room, only to lie down beside Cas. Immediately, as if Cas sensed him, shifted over so his leg was draped over Deans and so his head was rested on his collarbone.

Dean smiled.

Cas didn’t groan the rest of the night, and in replacement, he snored softly against Dean’s upper body with his hand lifting chest, reminding him to breathe.

 

  **Cas woke up the next morning to the smell of pancakes.**

Following the smell, he rolled himself out of the bed, taking a second to getting used to standing without the help of Dean for a second before stretching and walking out of their room. “You’re making me pancakes?” Cas asked with a smile, embracing Dean in a huge from behind, arms wrapped around his waist. “Of course I’m making you pancakes. Now shoo, you are interrupting the expert with your beauty.” Dean replied, smiling as he flipped over a pancake, not in the air, but just in the pan.

“What if I don’t want to, hm?” Cas asked, taking his hands and snaking them down Dean’s pajama pants, playing with the base of his cock teasingly.  
“C-Cas, I am making you pancakes for god-sakes. Please, I must show you my pancake flipping skills.”  
“Alright, alright, if you insist.” Cas smiled, removing his hands from Dean’s pants and taking a step back.  
Dean carefully took the pancake and flipped it up into the air, but when Cas saw it spiral out of control, he dashed behind the nearest chair, laughing his ass off when he saw that it had landed directly on top of Dean’s head. Dean had the cheesiest grin on his face as he said “See. Pancake flipping skills!”  
Taking the chance, Cas walked out from behind the chair and took syrup from off the counter and walked slowly up to Dean.

  
“C-Cas, what’re you doing?”

  
“Oh you know, just _this._ ”

And suddenly, hot, thick, syrup was poured onto the pancake that was still lying on Dean’s head.

  
_“Woops.”_

  
“Oh, you little-!” Cas was running off before Dean could even get the pancake off his head, hiding in the linen closet that was in the hallway. Dean didn’t see him dash off, but did know that he had hidden from him. “I’m so offended! Hiding from your boyfriend after pouring syrup onto his head? Come on, Cas!” Dean laughed, searching the house for him.

Dean heard heavy breathing coming from the linen closet.

“Hmmm, maybe I should check in here…” And suddenly, he flew open the door to the linen closet, only to catch Cas from him trying to run past him and tickling him till he couldn’t breathe. “Hahahah!” Dean exclaimed in victory, but somehow, Cas had wriggled out from Dean’s tickle-torture, only to hide somewhere else.  
Dean let out a growl but didn’t come looking for him, instead, going into the bathroom and turning on the shower so he could get the syrup out of his hair.

Feeling a sudden surge of confidence, Cas strode out from where he was hiding and walked down the hall then into the bathroom. Dean’s pants were shed on the floor, next to what soon lied Cas’ clothes as he stepped into the shower with Dean. “Sorry ‘bout the mess, baby,” Cas said gingerly, running his hands up Dean’s chest. Dean didn’t believe him a single bit, but what the hell, right?

Dean had already gotten most of the syrup out of his hair and off his stomach except for one single line of the thick liquid that was just under his right nipple. Cas smirked, leaning down and licking it off his chest which earned him a groan from Dean.

In the meantime, Dean had taken shampoo from the side of the shower and placed it in Cas’ hair, running his fingers through the wet black hair on top of his boyfriends’ head, making sure to massage it and get it properly cleaned before rinsing out the soap. The feeling of Cas having his head massaged so gently was heavenly, especially because Dean knew that Cas was still healing up from what had happened three days ago.

Before Cas was able to clean off his boyfriend, he was pushed against the wall, captured in a wet kiss from Dean, a steadying hand placed on the wall of the shower. "Damn." Cas said with a little chuckle, but kissed him again before continuing what he was going to do.

  
In return of the head massage, Cas took the soap and began to clean off that beautiful green-eyed boy, and when he got to his cock, he smirked at the moan that was freed from Dean’s lips. “Sh-shower sex is complicated, Cas. W-we should move into the bedroom..” He moaned as Cas began to stroke him. “Fine.” Cas complained, stepping out of the shower after turning it off and taking Dean’s hand, guiding him to their bedroom.

  
Soon, Cas was under Dean, his hair and body still wet against the white sheets of their bed. Dean knew Cas was still healing, so he had taken every movement slow, every touch against Cas’ bruised skin gentle and loving. “Gonna make love to you nice and slow, Cas, just for you, baby…” Dean cooed, taking a second to lean over and grab lube from the side table and putting the cold liquid on his fingers before slowly inserting one into Cas’ hole. The blue-eyed boy gripped the bed sheets, stretching out his neck as his head was thrown back, wet mess of hair digging into the sheets below him.

“Gonna add another, okay, baby?”

 

  
Cas gave a quick nod.  
Dean put in another finger, Cas letting out a moan at that and closing his eyes in pleasure. Dean was slowly scissoring his fingers inside of the boy below him, taking it slow just for Cas. Dean didn’t give any warning when he had added just one more finger, which made Cas cry out in pleasure at the sudden intrusion. “Uunghh…” He groaned. Dean began to thrust his three fingers ever so slowly, not fast enough to make Cas come, though, of course.

After another minute or so of Cas’ unending moans, Dean took his lubed fingers out of his boyfriend. “You think you can flipped over for me, Cassie?” He asked, getting a disgruntled groan in reply but Cas still did so, getting on his hands and knees in front of Dean. In the meantime, Dean had gotten more lube so he could enter Cas without hurting him. That was the last thing he could ever want to do to Cas. “C’mon, Dean, please..” he groaned in impatience because Dean was taking a little too long to prep him up with lube. “Fine, fine, just.. relax, okay? Don’t wanna hurt you..” He said soothingly, pressing the head of his cock against Cas’ ass before slowly pushing in. “Never ever gonna hurt you, ever.”

  
Cas nodded, moaning as Dean’s full length entered him, his arms giving out, causing him to lean down, back sloped, ass still in the air, taking in Dean with an exhilarating pleasure.

  
“Dean…”

  
“Cas…”

  
The green-eyed boy began to thrust faster, leaning down and sucking hickeys into Cas’ back as he did so. The side of Cas’ head was dug into the sheets, moans leaving his lips with every thrust into him. Suddenly, he hit Cas’ prostate, causing Cas to cry out in pain and pleasure. “Fuck..!” He exclaimed, Dean starting to hit that special bundle of nerves with every movement of his hips. Before Cas knew it, he was coming all over the sheets. “Fuck, Cas, I’m coming, fuck!” Cas could feel Dean’s cum start to pool up deep inside of Cas, and as he pulled out, it was leaking out of Cas.

  
“Love you so much, Dean.”

  
“Endlessly, Cas. Endlessly.”

  
“Gonna go watch some TV. You gonna rest or come out with me?” Dean asked while putting on boxers and pants.  
“Rest.” Was Cas’ short and simple reply. “Alright. I’ll close the door.” He said, leaning down and giving Cas a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room, closing the door behind him as promised. Cas had fallen asleep within ten minutes of Dean leaving the room, snoring soundly against the wet sheets, but couldn’t care less about that considering he just really needed to sleep. And when he woke up, he didn’t sit up, no, he just sat there and stared at the door, thinking. That was, until Dean walked into the room seven hours later and saw Cas awake.  
“Hey, baby, you rest well?”

 “Yes, I did. How long was I asleep for?” Cas mumbled, sitting up against the headboards and rubbing his eyes. “Seven hours.” “What? Seven hours?” And then it hit Cas. He was feeling better rested than he had in years, probably. Cas sighed though, going back to what he had been thinking earlier. “Dean, can you sit down?” “Sure, Cas. What’s up?” He sat down next to the blue-eyed boy, resting his hand on his pale back, trailing his fingertips gingerly over the skin.  
“It’s just.. you didn’t have to pay for my hospital bill or anything.. it wasn’t even your fault that any of this happened, it was mine. I was too stupid to make you stay in the car and now you’ve lost three days of your Winter break because of me..”

Dean’s features softened. “Cas, don’t ever say that. Never. You are more important than some two week break of school. Don’t ever think that you’re not, Cas. Never ever,” Dean said, angered. Cas nodded, a tear slowly making its way down his face. “I’m sorry, Dean..” He sniffled, Dean twisting his body so he could wrap his arms around the crying blue-eyed boy, his head resting on top of Cas’ mop of hair.

  
“Shhh, baby. I got you.” He placed a kiss on top of Cas’ head to soothe him, brushing his fingertips along his back once again. “Love you so much, Cas. Never gonna ever let you go, so don’t ever think any of that.” Cas nodded in reply. “Now, do you wanna get packed up to go to the cabin?” Cas gave another nod. “Alright. Get dressed. Do you.. want me to go over to your dad’s house to get your clothes?” Another nod. “Okay. See you soon, baby.” Dean kissed Cas’ forehead before leaving his embrace and walking out the door.

When Dean had gotten to Cas’ house, he did everything he could not to kill that man. Luckily, he was passed out on the couch, so it was easy for Dean to walk upstairs and grab some of Cas’ clothes. But, there was a little extra something under his boxer drawer. “Cas… oh my,” He said to himself as he saw three pairs of pink, silk laced panties. He smiled wide before stuffing them into his leather jacket pocket then continued to grab more clothes.

Cas waited for Dean ever so patiently. He had packed all of Dean’s clothes in the process, along with his favorite records. He smiled when he heard the door open, footsteps trailing towards his door. “You ready to go?” Dean asked. “Yes.” Was Cas’ reply. “I’ll be in the car.” Dean said with a smile, walking out of the house and waiting for Cas to leave the house and lock the door behind him. It was snowing so they had placed the bags in the backseat as fast as possible in hopes of getting into the warmth of the impala sooner than he had hoped, but it didn’t help much.  
“Here we go.”

 

Dean spoke up about two hours into the drive. “So, Cas. You ever worn panties?” He said with a wide, cheesy grin.  
“What?! No!” Cas exclaimed, blushing heavily, turning his head so Dean couldn’t see.  
“Liar."

  
“No, I am not!”

  
“Yes, you are.”

  
“No!”

  
“Yes!”

“Fine! Yes. I’ve worn panties, okay?” Cas confessed, blushing as red as a tomato. “Humph.” Dean sighed with a grin. “Gonna have to wear ‘em for me, sometime, y’know.” He teased, smiling wide, keeping his eyes on the road as best he could.

Another thirty minutes of awkward silence passed. Cas finally thought of something to do to pass the time, so before he thought himself out of it, he began. “Don’t get distracted, Dean.” He said with a cocky smile. “What do you mean?” But soon, he realized when Cas scooted over and unbuckled Dean’s belt, unbutton his jeans, and pull down his boxers along with the other three clothing items just enough for his dick to pop out. Cas was a bit nervous about going on, but that didn’t stop him because Dean Winchester made him feel dangerous and dangerous is what he wanted to be.

  
“C-Cas, not while I’m dr-“ Dean paused as Cas’ tongue was suddenly licking a line up his shaft, making him instantly hard. “Cas, I’m driving…” He moaned, wanting to be able to pull to the side of the road, but he couldn’t because it was a two-lane road and there were trees on one side of the car and a cliff on the other. So, he decided that pummeling to certain death was _not_ a good idea. So he kept his eyes on the road as best he could while Cas sucked his dick and played with the base of his crotch.

  
“Jesus, Cas, what’s gotten int-“ He paused again, moaning as his entire length was put down the heat of Cas’ throat. “-o you,” he finished, letting out a pleasurable sigh.  
“Your cock.” He said, taking the chance to breathe for a moment before starting again, bobbing his head ever so slowly. Dean smirked at that, wanting to be able to control the bobbing of Cas’ head, but if he moved his hand from the steering wheel, there was no way he could continue driving and not crash the car.  And so, he had gripped that fucking steering wheel for dear life, preparing for release.

“Cas, please..” He cried, knowing that Cas felt him swell up, about to come. “Come for me, Dean.” Cas ordered, beginning to stroke Dean at top speed. Dean happily obliged, the car swerving a bit as he did so. “Fuck, Cas.. never had road head before.” He said with a smirk, Cas slowly beginning to pull Dean’s pants up again, buckling his belt for him. “Well, everyone has to have a first. And that was yours.”

Dean didn’t reply.

Cas, after Dean had relaxed, placing his head in Dean’s lap while he was driving so that he could sleep. The cabin wasn’t very far after that, about an hour longer would get them there. So Dean continued to drive through that beautiful yet rotting forest, the trees all dead for the winter except the dots of evergreen trees that lived throughout the forest. He knew that if Cas were awake, he would have made some poetic statement about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser chapter there. Next one comin' probably tomorrow or Thursday! :D


	8. Love Is Like Fire

**“Cas, baby, wake up.”** Dean said, parking in front of the shabby little wooden cabin, stroking Cas’ cheek soothingly to wake him up. He got a groan in reply, but continued to stroke his cheek. “I’m up..” Cas mumbled, sitting upright and rubbing his eyes before seeing trees dotted with heavy snow. “We’re here?” “Yes, Cas, we’re here. It’s gettin’ cold so do you mind helping with the bags?” “’Course.”

They had finished bringing in the bags within five or so minutes, freezing from the 12 degree weather they had to run in. Once they got inside, there wasn’t any heating, but there was a huge, wooden, iron-caged fire place in the great room, a red sofa in front it, along with a white single-person chair off to the side in a diagonal direction. “It’s perfect, Dean.” Cas said with a smile, sitting himself down on the sofa. He had already gotten three blankets from the linen closet, but that still didn’t suffice for the immense cold that ran through the wooden cabin.  
“Make a fire for me?” Cas asked innocently, looking up at Dean with sad-puppy eyes. “God, Cas, you know I can’t resist that face.” He said, then got to it, also wanting to feel warmer than the cold he was feeling right now.

In due time, there was a big fire set up, crackling peacefully in the white noise of nothing but two lovers resting in each others’ arms, desperately needing more warmth. Suddenly, Cas perked up.

  
“I have an idea.”  
He began by shooing Dean off the couch and grabbing the blankets, placing one in front of the fire then placed four of the fluffiest pillows on top of the blankets for where their heads would rest. “Okay. It should be warmer..” Cas smiled at his work, lying down on top of the single blanket, waiting for Dean to join him before pulling the other two blankets over his cold body.  
“Jesus, Cas, you are a genius.” Dean mused as he wrapped Cas in his arms, pulling the blankets over the two. “It’s so much warmer down here…” And he was right, because the heat of the fire was coming directly at them. Cas suddenly turned around so that their noses were touching, blue eyes meeting green eyes. “I love you.” Cas smiled. Dean replied with a soft kiss on Cas’ cupid bow lips, adding barely any tongue to the mix. Slowly, Cas had fallen asleep again in Dean’s arms, head in the crook of his neck, steady breaths sending chills down Dean’s back.

 

 

 

**They were in the hot tub two days later after going into town to buy their presents for each other.**

Dean followed close behind Cas into the tub. He let his eyes shut as muscles began to relax from the warm water. “So, Cas,” he started, peaking an eye open at his boyfriend, “what exactly were you planning to do?” Every time it was brought up, Cas gave him flirty eyes. Cas immediately smirked, turning over to Dean before placing him right onto his lap. “Just, uh, this.” He muttered before leaning down and kissing the Winchester boy who had smiled up at him and said “Not happening.” Yet still his hands up the legs of Cas’ swimming suit. “It’s your turn, Cas.” He purred and planted a slow kiss below the blue-eyed boy’s ear.

Even though Dean had made his statement, he continued on his lap. “Gonna make love so softly, Dean..” He murmured, lips brushing against Dean’s. Dean shivered a little when Cas called it “making love” but he loved it too much to say anything about it. “Don’t even need to slick myself up ‘cause the water’s doin’ it for me.” Cas added, words falling messily off his lips. “Bend over on the hot and put your hands on the edge. Sadly, I still gotta prep you.” He had slid off Dean’s lap in the meantime. So, Dean turned around and placed his arms on the wooden edge of the hot tub that kept the actual tub up. With Cas’ words ringing in his ear and the pleasurable heat of the water, Dean was _very_ turned on.

  
This made Cas smirk after seeing the bulge in Dean’s swim trunks, only to slowly pull them off his body and place them on the edge of the tub. He slowly entered a single finger into Dean’s ass, wiggling around as if it were nothing. Dean instantly gave a low and unashamed moan in reply. “Touch me, Cas…” he said breathily to encourage his boyfriend. He couldn’t help it when he rolled his hips back towards the younger boy, wanting to absorb all of Castiel.  
Cas swiftly slid his other hand around Dean’s waist only to wrap it around his cock and start stroking. Dean hung his head to where his chin touched his chest. “God, Cas..” He added another finger, both of them brushing against that special bundle of nerves. Dean moved his lower back so Cas’ fingers pressed firmly into his prostate once again, getting the third finger added just after. Cas was scissoring his fingers inside of the green-eyed boy, stretching him out just enough for him to enter him. “Gonna fuck you, now.. make you feel so good,” He purred into Dean’s ear, ceasing his hand movements to take off his own swim trunks.

  
Dean had nodded vigorously. He craved Cas. If he were a drug, he would gladly overdose. “Make love to me, Cas.” He cried softly, his love for the other boy hitting him at full force, making his vision swim from the excess water building in his tear ducts. Cas smirked at that, positioning himself against Dean’s hole before slowly pushing into him. He put his one hand on Dean’s waist, the other continuing to stroke Dean’s cock. “Love you so much..” He moaned into Dean’s skin after biting a hickey from his back. Dean was trembling under the blue-eyed boy from the pleasure that coursed through his veins when he felt the head slip in easily with the rest of Cas’ dick following smoothly. His reply from the stroking and the biting made him press his head into his bulging forearm and let out a satisfied groan.

Cas’s hand had slipped from Dean’s waist and snaked up to Dean’s half-dry blonde hair, curling his fingers ever so softly into his bundle of hair. “Love you so much…” He repeated once again into his skin, speeding his movements. Dean had leant his head into Cas’ hand and let out a whimper. ‘I love you, too, Cas. Love you so bad.” Cas had been thrusting at a gentle speed, just like he said he would. It wasn’t too slow, nor was it too fast or rough, but it was quite perfect really.  
“Filling you up so good, aren’t I, Dean? Just right…” He mused, speeding his hip movements just barely. “Yes, Cas, only for you. Only you can fill me.” Dean panted. All he ever thought about was Cas’ touched, Cas’ smiles, Cas’ little squints of confusion, Cas; face as he comes all over Dean. The feeling of Cas’ kisses, and, best of all, the feeling of having Cas wrapped in his arms. Oblivious to Dean’s thoughts, he smiled at what Dean had said. He obviously wasn’t some crazy possessive boyfriend but he had a feeling Dean actually meant it.

Not too long later, Dean had let out a groan of pleasure, Cas hitting Dean’s prostate with each thrust. He knew Dean was coming soon, so he sped up. “Cas!” he cried breathily, trying to hold off a bit longer for his boyfriend. He wouldn’t finish until Cas had finished. “Dean.. come for me..” He purred, the blue eyed boy also on the verge of climax. Dean obeyed Cas’ order and came – hard and long. Spray after spray of his seed shot on to the rim of the tub and into the warm water. He kept moving his hips back to Cas to draw it out as much he could and to get Cas to climax into him.

  
Cas had milked out Dean’s orgasm, stroking with no rhythm at all anymore. Soon, he came after Dean, white liquid shooting down Dean’s ass. “God, Dean..” He breathed, letting himself stay inside of Dean for just a little longer to lean himself down, taking Dean’s chin between his thumb and index finger and kiss him sloppily against his lips. But Dean didn’t care about formalness. He kissed Cas right back, shoving his tongue to the top of the boy’s mouth, wanting to get as much taste of him as he could. Every shift Cas made had small shocks of pleasure running through his body.

“Fuuuck…” Cas groaned into Dean’s mouthas his cock was suddenly inside the heat of Dean’s ass once again. Dean wished they could be like that all the time. “Cas..” Dean whimpered, fidgeting on his knees on the bench. _Cas sure knows how to fuck a guy’s brain’s out without even moving..”_ Dean thought.

“Position change.” Were the sudden words coming from Cas’ lips.  
He pulled out of Dean and sat down on the hot tub bench. He took Dean by the waist, making sure Dean was facing him so he could see his face when he came, and positioned him so he was hovering about his dick, slowly letting him fall onto him. Dean let out a startled cry when Cas entered him again but he didn’t mind the suddenness. He had placed his hands on Cas’ shoulders to help lift himself up and slam back down again to the base of Cas’ cock. Cas’ hands were on Dean’s waist, keeping him steady as he bounced on top of him.

  
“Fuck, Cas,” he hissed through clenched teeth so they wouldn’t rattle and bite his tongue.  
“Fuck me.”  
“Fuck me hard.”  
Cas bucked his hips at that. Sadly, he didn’t have a free hand to stroke Dean with, but if he did, he would already be doing so. “Jesus, Dean, talk dirty more..” He said as Dean continued to slam down onto his cock, his cock hitting Dean’s prostate with every buck of his hips and every bounce of Dean’s body. “Fuck me hard, Cas.” Dean grunted. He didn’t need to think about what words to say. They seemed to just fly out of his mouth. “I love it when you manhandle me. Fuck, Cas, don’t stop. You feel so fucking good inside me, ramming into me.” He growled out through his perfect white teeth. “Fuck, Dean, love it when you talk to me like that. Words spillin’ from your lips so naturally, aren’t they? Such a dirty little mouth, Dean…” He cooed, bucking his hips every time Dean seemed to pause for a breath.  
“I love being your dirty little slut. I’ll take you dick any day.” Dean went on. “Feel so good, Cas. Wanna fuck you every time I look at you.” He kept up the pace as he talked and cursed. “Need you to fuck the dirty out of me, Cas.” Dean’s neck muscles and biceps strained as he rode Cas like a bucking stallion. “Fuck, Cas, make me so fucking hard..” Cas groaned huskily at that. It was almost too much hearing him talk like that as he rode his dick on top of him. “Gonna make me come just from hearin’ you talk like that. Cum’s gonna be leaking out your ass for days.” He growled, already about to come again but he had to hold out for Dean.

“Maybe I want it in there.” Dean snapped back but without any real negativity. “Touch yourself, Dean. Wanna see you milk out your own orgasm.” He added with a growl. He released one of his hands from Cas’ shoulders and started to jack himself off to the fast rhythm. “Wanna feel you inside me when we’ve parted. Wanna feel the effects of us fucking, the bruises you leave inside and out as a reminder of us.” Dean groaned. Cas happily obliged, bucking his hips harder and faster, making those bruises Dean seemed to want ever so badly.  
Cas stared intently at the sight of Dean being fucked so thoroughly. “Fuck, gonna come so fucking hard in your ass.” He growled, leaning forward and bit down on Dean’s neck, adding another bruise.

“All mine, Dean.” He said, biting again. “You’re-“ _bite,_ “all-“ _bite,_ “mine.” He finished finally, so close to coming that it hurt. With each bite Cas on his skin made him a step closer to the edge of pleasure. “Do it.” Dean purred, read to come himself. “Come inside me.” He added, Cas coming almost immediately after. He had let out a loud unashamed moan, and after the stars he had seen vanished from his eyes, he realized that Dean was close, too. So, he wrapped his left arm almost all the way around Dean’s waist and used his other hand to remove Dean’s hand from his cock and replaced it with his own. He stroked him fast and a little rough as Dean continued to ride him into climax.

“Fuck, yes, God Cas, I fucking love you.” He moaned, and finally let go after insides were slicked with Cas’ spunk another time. He sprayed his own liquids into the water, but some had sprayed onto his and Cas’ stomach when the tip of his dick poked out of the water. Even as the last of his come squeezed out, Dean kept riding Cas, but at a very slow and steady speed. Cas’ breathing was slowly beginning to regulate as Dean slowed his movements. “God, Dean, love you so much.” He cooed as he came to a full stop. “Gonna have to get off my cock eventually, though.” He teased, chuckling into Dean’s collar bone only to get a grudging groan in reply.  
“I wish I didn’t.” He sighed, but lifted up enough for Cas’dick to slip out, some of the jizz coming out with it. Now that it was out, Dean settled back down onto Cas’ lap and snuggled up.

“The water’s getting cold…” He mumbled into his boyfriend’s skin. “Well no wonder. It’s starting to snow..” Cas said in reply as they stood up together and wrapped their cold bodies in towels, picking up their swim trunks as well before walking inside and collapsing on their bed.

“Never knew you had such a dirty mouth, Winchester.” Dean turned his head just enough to smirk at Cas. “You bring out the best in me, Cas.” He replied, flirt lining each word.  
“But I never knew you liked it so much.” He laughed and shifting so Cas could lie his head in his lap. The blue eyed boy stared into the fireplace that was in their bedroom, listening to the soft crackle of the colored flame. “We should do it again sometime.” Cas teased. He checked the time. 9:45 it read. “How many other girls or guys you been with before me?” He asked with no rude intention at all. He just felt like he should know,  
“Never had a real relationship before.” Dean said with a timid shrug. “I’ve hooked up with too many girls to count but I’ve never let anyone stick one in me.” He admitted, then sighed. “I can’t move another muscle.” Dean groaned. “Nor can I…” He sighed. Slowly, with a groan, Cas sat up and repositioned himself along with Dean so that his head was resting on Dean’s collar bone, his fingers finding their way up to Dean’s abs and tracing the lines they left on his chest.  
“I love you so much, Dean.”  
Dean slipped an arm around the younger boy. “I love you too, Cas. Endlessly.” He repeated, his lips barely moving because he was about to slip into unconsciousness. **_Love is like fire._  Cas thought to himself. _It starts out small, but if you try hard enough, it gets bigger and bigger until nothing can stop it, until it’s the largest, brightest thing in the world. And nothing could be more perfect than that raging, never ending fire._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In love with this chapter <3 Sexy hot tub sex included :D


	9. Endlessly

**Cas had woken up the next morning. Christmas morning, especially early.**

He had put the cute little sweater that he had bought for Dean under the Christmas tree and set out the white wine and eggnog on the table.

The apple pie had to be just right for Dean, so he made sure every step of the process was perfectly planned out.

By the time Dean woke up, the entire cabin smelled like everything nice in the world. Sadly, he didn’t wake as gracefully as Cas did. The first thing that he did during consciousness was let out a tired groan. He rolled over and sat up, his ass sore as hell. Slowly, he put on his pajama pants and followed the wonderful smell to the kitchen. “Looks like I got what I wanted…” He mumbled, wiping the sleep away from his eyes as he gave his morning hug then kiss. When he noticed the pie on the counter, he grinned.  
 “You’re walking a little different, Dean. I see you’re sore from yesterday.” He teased, giving a wink. “I woke up early and made this for you. It’s one of two presents that I got for you. There’s white wine and eggnog on the table as well.” Cas smiled, knowing Dean loved his present. Dean groaned. “Cas, the pie is good enough” He shook his head but still had a big smile on his face.

“Try the pie. I promise it’s really good.” He posed, his grin wide as he sat down across from him at the table, watching intently. He wanted to see Dean’s face when he took a bite of Cas’ masterpiece.  
Not much longer later after Dean had gotten a slice of the pie and a plate from the cupboard, he was shoveling a piece of the apple pie into his mouth. When it hit his taste buds, he froze and his eyes slowly widened. Drool pooled over his lips, so he quickly started to chew.  
“Jesus, Cas, where’d you learn how to bake like this?” he moaned orgasmically around the baked dessert. “This morning.” Cas said plainly, as if it were nothing. “Just for you, Dean.” The blue-eyed boy added as he watched Dean move his lips around the pie he had made for him. The record that was playing was some Elvis Christmas songs. “Your other present is under the tree.” Dean had given Cas a surprised, awe filled look, the pouted and pulled his plate closer. “Lemme finish my damn pie.” He grumbled, shifting in his seat to get a more comfortable position. He ate his pie slowly, savoring every last crumb.  
When he finally set down his fork, he leant back and rubbed his stomach, looking at the present that lay under the Christmas tree he had cut down because Cas had asked for one. Soon, Cas was leading Dean over to the mess of blankets, sitting in front of the fire that was crackling peacefully in front of them. They sat criss-crossed in front of each other, Cas’ other present for Dean in his lap, Dean’s one (and a half *wink*) presents for Cas in his lap as well. “Now, gimme the present you dork.” He ordered, holding his hands out towards the wrapped box. “Say the magic word.” Cas teased, holding the present behind his back until he said it. “Jesus, Cas. _Please_ give me my present.”

Finally, Cas handed him the present, smiling wide. “Open it.” He ordered. He had no idea how Dean would react, but he really didn’t care. It actually felt really heavy (Cas had put a rock in it) when he placed it in Dean’s hands. Dean had given Cas a questioning look as he shook the box lightly. He wasn’t the organized present opener, so he just yanked the paper off in one go, flapping it a bit to get the top off. When he opened it, he saw a sweater inside. It was something Cas always wore and something Cas always looked too cute in.

Dean grinned shyly, but started to laugh when he saw the rock. “I love it, Cas. Thank you, even though you tried to trick me.” He chuckled. Cas laughed, leaning in and kissing him. “Put in on for me?” He asked, knowing he didn’t like it much but still knew that he would wear it for him **because Cas was his and he was Cas’.** Dean never wore sweaters, but this was special – Cas was special. So he would wear it. For Cas. So, he carefully unfolded it and stood so he could put it on. Once it was on, he pulled it down smoothly and patted it over his chest. “It’s prefect, Cas.” He said happily, sitting back down. “Now it’s your turn.”

“Gimme, gimme!” He exclaimed, taking his chance to act like a five year old and seizing it. Cas had absolutely no idea what Dean had gotten him so he waited with suspense and anticipation.

The first box was big.

When he opened it, Dean had smiled wide all throughout Cas’ OCD box-opening procedure, chuckling a little at the way he poked his tongue out of the side of his mouth as he focused on the string and tape. “A trenchcoat.” Cas smiled. He’d always wanted a big professional trench coat. It was tan, maybe a nude color, he couldn’t really tell, but it was perfect. “Dean.. I love it. Thank you.” He leaned over and kissed him after trying it on, taking it off and placing it beside them on the couch.  
“One more thing…”  He blushed, nervously digging into his pajama pants pocket. When he finished, he pulled a little black velvet box out of his pants.

It was a ring box.

A very fancy ring box.

“C-Cas, it’s not what you think.” He finally spoke up. Cas had had his eyes wide, but when he popped it open, it wasn’t some fancy 24 karot ring. No, it was just a silver band that had the word “Endlessly” engraved into it and it could not have been more perfect. “Dean…” He slipped the ring onto his finger ever so slowly, knowing Dean was watching with close eyes. “I love it, thank you.” He smiled. Soon, they had leaned back down onto the pillows, nose brushing against each others’. **“Maybe endlessly can be our ‘I love you.’”** Cas suggested, brushing his lips against Dean’s. “Yeah, maybe.” He repeated with a chuckle. “It isn’t an engagement ring, but it’s a… promise ring, I guess.” He shrugged with a little blush.

“A promise that I’m gonna get you the real thing one day.” He elaborated then pulled Cas in for a peck of lips. Cas had given his adorable warm smile, and when he kissed Dean, he deepened it and after a second or two, he leaned back. “This was my first real Christmas, you know that?” He confessed, still smiling softly. “And I could not have spent it any better. Thank you for this. I love you so much.” Dean gave a smile. **“Endlessly.”** He breathed and kissed Cas again.  
Still kissing him, he pushed him down slowly so Cas laying down with Dean on his hands and knees over him. The blue eyed boy laughed into the kiss as he fell downwards, lifting his head up as Dean began to trail kisses down his upper body. It was peaceful like this, in the cabin with not a care in the world. So they cherished as much as they could, making love slow that night.

 

 

 **Dean had been messing with the antennas on the black and white TV because Cas had said he wanted to watch the ball drop.** Once the screen was clear enough, Dean could plainly see that there was one minute left until count down. “There!” He cheered in victory. He stood up – his bruises didn’t bother him anymore – and wrapped an arm around Cas. Dean’s boyfriend smiled, watching the TV with focused eyes, the seconds feeling like minutes. But eventually, it got down to ten seconds and Cas started to count down at seven. When he finally counted off 1, Dean turned and placed a deep kiss on Cas’ lips.  
“Midnight kiss means good luck, right?” He said cockily. “If it does, I know a way to have the best luck ever.” He purred into Cas’ ear, already getting eager for the possibility of New Years sex.  
“As do I, Dean Winchester.” He teased, pulling him by the collar and kissing him again. Dean let Cas manhandle him and his shirt, gladly kissing back with full force. The manner he had been kissing Dean wasn’t specific, but most definitely was not a neat kiss. “So which is it today, Cas?” Dean sighed seductively into his boyfriend’s ear.  


“Fucking or making love?” Dean continued. “Whichever one you prefer.” He teased, letting Dean decide for him. He honestly didn’t care ‘cause the only thing he really need at the moment was Dean balls deep in his ass. “We could.. try four fingers tonight…” He asked, which must have surprised Dean because even he wasn’t as big as four fingers. “Only if you can take it.” Dean growled with lust. He grabbed Cas by the collar and dragged him down onto their bed. “I’m gonna return the favor you gave me on Christmas Eve.” He purred and pulled both of their pants down.  
Once he had stripped Cas of his trousers, he pulled out a bottle of lube from the bedside drawer. “You gonna fuck me till I got bruises? Just like what I did to you?” Cas cooed. He was just as horny and lustful as Dean, so the words had fallen naturally off his lips. Whilst Dean spread lube over his fingers, he’d taken off his shirt, allowing him to be completely naked.  “Gonna make you scream my name, Cas.” Dean promised huskily, then inserted two fingers at once, using his slicked thumb to soften the skin around Cas’ hole. “Fuck!” Cas moaned out as Dean put in his fingers. He wasn’t hurt really, but it burned a little more than usual.

 

 

Eventually, the pain subsided and he started to thrust back against Dean’s fingers, wanting more. “Another, Dean..” He begged with a lustful smile, eyes hooded, lips parted. Dean complied, watching Cas as he slid the third finger in and waffled all three separately against his prostate. “Gonna make you cry ‘cause you feel so good.” Dean purred, placing a little kiss on the sensitive skin next to Cas’ balls. He even gave the head of Cas’ cock a sultry lick. “You want my dick or another finger next?” “F-Finger..” He could barely talk due to how well Dean was working him. The feeling of his prostate being brushed up against in three different places at once made him moan like crazy, but four, oh god, four would make him scream like crazy, which is exactly what Dean wanted.

Finally, Dean placed the fourth finger inside of Cas’ ass, switching from massaging the prostate to stretching him out. “Won’t put my dick in till I hear you scream, Cas. I mean _really_ scream.” Dean said darkly with a satisfied glin in his eyes. It was a win-win for him. He either got to stick it in or get to hear all of the sounds Cas could make before finally screaming.  
“Fuck, Dean!” He screamed out, his muscles having never been stretched this far before. He had been moaning like hell until one of Dean’s fingers had unintentionally rubbed against. Dean got what he wanted. Cas screamed. As in, the neighbors must have heard because _fuck_ that felt good. Soon, Dean had taken each finger out one by one. Before Cas could catch his breath, Dean lined up and entered quickly. “Damn, Cas. Even after four fingers you’re still tight as hell.” He grunted as he placed his hands on Cas’ hips and began to thrust mercilessly in and out.  
A breath hitched in Cas’ throat with each thrust, the only sounds that were audible were “Dean” and “uuunggh”, which he had to admit, were the most sexy sounds he’d heard in quite some time.

“Wanna ride you, Dean. Wanna sit in your lap and fuck you right into my tight ass.” He said, using his mouth a little dirtier than usual. Dean had tightened his grip on Cas for a millisecond, and pulled him up carefully, yet quickly, as Dean sat back on his bare ass.  
“Ride me, Cas. Ride me so hard you pass out with my dick still in your ass.” He growled, giving Cas’ collarbone a bite before starting the rhythm up again by lifting Cas up. The set of moans that left Cas’ mouth almost weren’t human. He began bouncing, riding Dean hard and fast and rough, his hand traveling over to his cock beginning to stroke with no rhythm whatsoever.  By now “Dean” was the only audible word that spilled from his mouth.

“Make me-“ he paused as Dean started to hit his prostate with every buck of his hips. “-yours.” He finished after letting long awaited moans fall from his lips. Dean held Cas up a bit so he could just plow into Cas like an engine working double time. Finally, he let himself find his release inside of Cas and let them both fall back down. He still went on with moving Cas, though, so the younger boy could climax onto his stomach.

 

 

And soon, Cas did just that, coming all over Dean’s chest. He had screamed and moaned and writhed over the boy who still had his cock in him. “God, Dean, love you so much.. endlessly..” He add that last part with a smile, still ever so slowly riding Dean to milk out his orgasm as much as possible. “Endlessly.” Dean said in reply with his own blissful smile. He released Cas from his iron grip, looking at his sides and seeing that he left a large, red bruise where his hands had been. “Dean, it’s alright.” Cas said with a reassuring smile, knowing what Dean was thinking as he stared at the bruise. “I wanted you to leave a bruise.” He then whispered lustfully into his ear.  Dean relaxed a bit but knew he was going to have to be a bit more careful with Cas next time.

“Endlessly…” He repeated again. Endlessly wasn’t just saying that they loved each other. It was saying that they would love each other after death bestowed them. After they parted. Always and forever. “Never letting you go, Cas.” He cooed eventually, moving the blue eyed boy off his cock. “Gonna love you till death, Dean.” He said with an ear to ear grin. “Endlessly, till death.” Dean said back, kissing Cas softly against the lips.  
 “Might as well get used to saying that.” He continued, and brought Cas’ ringed finger to his lips as a reminder of his promise to the younger boy, He pulled Cas down with him and snuggled him against his chest.

They slept incredibly well that night, Cas snoring soundly against Dean’s soft flesh, their bodies in a tangled mess and it could not have been more perfect.


	10. Don't Go To Valentine's Partys

**Cas had been at a Valentine’s party with Dean when it happened.  
** She was drunk, okay? _Anyways,_ Meg had pushed Cas into some closet, kissing him all the while. Dean had seen Meg and Cas start to make out when he had gone to get Cas a drink of water. At first, Dean had frozen in shock, but when Cas let her push him into a closet, he had enough. The good thing was that Cas didn’t kiss her back at all though, he actually pushed her off and left the closet just in time to see Dean leave the party. “Dean, wait!” He had tried calling to him, but either he didn’t hear him or he ignored him.

Dean may or may not have flipped a table on his way out to find his baby, and peeled out into the street. Cas wanted to run after him, but he had sped off too quickly. “Fuck.” Cas said under his breath. He would have to walk home now. It was cold, but luckily their house was only four blocks away but Cas still had no idea where Dean might have run off too. When he got to their house, he used the spare key and walked inside.

He wasn’t there.

At first, Dean had just sped around towns and country side but then he stopped at bar. The bartender took one look at him and quietly handed him a beer. “Gonna need something stronger.” Dean muttered, but still took a swig.

Not too long later, Dean ended up getting completely smashed. He stayed at the bar, complaining to the bartender, whose name was Benny. Then, a pretty girl named Liz? Lisa? Yeah, Lisa came in. She had flirted and chatted with her, and they ended up fucking in the back room. Dean barely remembered any of it except that he couldn’t really get hard because it wasn’t Cas.  
So, in the early hours of the morning, he drove back, still tipsy from the night before. And when he got home, he stumbled inside, leaning against the door for balance after he closed it. “Dean, where the fuck were you?!” Cas started with a puzzled, worried, and angered look on his face. “I had to walk home and I was worried sick!” He added, walking up towards Dean and kissing him before feeling the taste of girl, beer, and for some odd reason, cinnamon.

Dean hadn’t reacted to the kiss and took a moment to realize that Cas was, in fact, talking to him.

“Why th fuck d’you care?” He slurred, angry as wel. “Y’ obviously don’t,” he drawled out. “Cuz y’ wen inta tha closet wi’ that girl!” He shouted back, giving Cas a betrayed, angry glare. He attempted to storm at Cas, but ended up tripped over his feet and collapsed onto his knees. “Dean, you’re drunk. I never even touched Meg! She tried to kiss me and I pushed her away. Do you actually think I would cheat on you, Dean, after all we’ve been through?!” He couldn’t believe what Dean had been saying, and it made him much more than just angry. “Y’ don’t get it..” Dean huffed and got back to his feet. He continued walking towards the couch more steadily and flopped down onto it, pulling the little pillow to his chest. He didn’t want to deal with a chick flick moment, so he didn’t say anything else to Cas.

“What the hell do you mean ‘I don’t get it’?! You fucked someone, didn’t you?” Cas had begun to tear up a little. “Endlessy, remember? Obviously, you didn’t last night because you fucked some chick in some bar, didn’t you?! Being drunk is not an excuse, Dean!”  
The green-eyed boy sat up and turned to glare at him. “Cas, I didn’t even get it up and she ended up passing out anyways. And you don’t get it ‘cause you don’t hear all the people talking about us - how we’ll realize our sexuality or whatever the hell that means and dump the other for a nice wife and raise kids. And I thought that..” He took a steady breath to push back the tears that were coming to replace the ones that had fallen already. “You don’t get it, because I keep those people away from you.”  
“Dean..” Cas said with a long sigh. “You know I love you and I know you love me too.” He thought of what he would say next. “Besides, I think I’ve had your dick up my ass enough to realize that I’m not straight, Dean.” Cas said with a fake chuckle, trying to raise the mood but he was still crying a bit.

“I won’t be able to forgive you, though. What were you thinkin’, Dean?” His boyfriend shook his head in reply. He let it rest against the back of the couch. “Can’t remember.” He mumbled as he let his eyes shut. Deep down, he was insecure and always second guessed himself. He thought maybe the people were right, so he had let Lisa drag him into the room.

“ _What a time it is to be queer.”_ He thought aloud.

“Don’t say that, Dean. Don’t.” Cas growled. “I can’t even forgive you for even thinking that. You actually gave into those bullshit lies that we’d suddenly become straight? I barely let Meg drag me into the closet and here you are, sitting here after letting some girl drag you into a closet and _fuck_ her! You said it was only me, remember?!” “I told you, I didn’t fuck her!” Dean snapped, his eyes flying open to give Cas an angry look. After a second of silence, he looked away again. “I couldn’t get it up, I already told you.” He sighed, looking completely drained.

  
“You don’t know if you fucked her or not!” He exclaimed, about to break something. Which he did. He slammed the lamp that was on the table next to the couch over, glass shards flying all over the place. He let his tears stream down his face as the glass fell. He almost knocked over the table, too, but he kept in his other pent up rage as best he could.

“I’m going for a walk.” He said before abruptly walking out the door.

Dean rolled his eyes after recovering from the lamp dropping. “ _He’ll probably try to make all the lights blow out when he comes back._ ” He chuckled then swiftly passed out, drunk on the couch, snoring up a storm.

Meanwhile, Cas had thought about everything that just happened. “He’s gonna turn into my dad.” Was the first thing he said to himself, which made him vigorously shake his head. “No, no, no, no, no.” He said repeatedly. Cas _knew_  he would kill himself if he turned into a such a monster because Dean was his anchor in his world, but right now, it seemed as though that anchor were a thread and it was most assuredly not holding well.

Back at the house, Dean’s drunken dreams were filled with Cas rejecting him, turning away from him to a beautiful wife and kids, which Dean would never be able to provide. He had gotten on his knees to beg for Cas to come back, bit Cas ignored him and kicked him to the ground. So, when Dean woke to Cas gone – he had forgotten that Cas went for a walk – Dean tried to get up and search for him but was still drunk, and fell to the ground again, sobbing hysterically.

  
So when Cas came back to see Dean crying on the floor, he instantly ran over to him, kneeled down beside him and cradled the green eyed boy. “Hey, I’m here. I didn’t leave you, I’m here.” He muttered reassuringly into his ear. “Never gonna leave you, Dean. I promise. Endlessly, remember? Endlessly.” Dean tried to bat Cas away, afraid, his eyes wild and tearful. When he realized it was the real Cas, he held him tight and sobbed into his shoulder, his body shaking from the force. “I’m sorry Cas. I really am.” He said into the fabric. “I promise, Cas. Endlessly.” He recited back religiously.

  
“I forgive you, Dean. Just don’t do that again, okay?” He asked into Dean’s neck, running his fingers through the back of his head soothingly to help calm him down. Tears slowly began to soak through Cas’ shirt, but he didn’t mind it. It was the same thing Cas had done when he broke down. “Shhhh…” He said, calming his down as much a possible. Dean slowly began to quiet down and still. “Can you help me get to bed?” He asked eventually, completely exhausted. He just wanted to sleep, Cas beside him, and the floor wasn’t helping at all.  
“Of course.” Cas said, wrapping an arm around his waist and walking him into the bedroom. He helped Dean out of his shoes and shirt, doing the same with his own before helping him lie down.

Cas slid beside Dean, wrapping his arms around him. Normally, he preferred being the little spoon, but right now this was different. “I’ll be here, Dean. Right next to you the entire day and night.” He said, kissing the top of Dean’s mop of blonde hair for a few seconds. He rested one arm behind Cas’ back tentatively. Cas had let his nose rest in Dean’s hair even though it smelled heavily of beer and musk.

“Endlessly.” He said into his hair when he knew he was asleep before closing his own eyes and falling asleep himself.

 

 **Dean woke the next day dazed and confused.** When he saw Cas snuggled right into him, he stiffened, but slowly began to remember what really happened. The massive headache he was sporting made him groan softly and rub his forehead.

“Morning..” Cas muttered sleepily. “Need some coffee?” He asked, knowing the answer but still continued to say it. He really had stayed beside Dean the entire time he was asleep, arms wrapped around him. Dean nodded, using the arm that wasn’t around Cas to shield his eyes from the light of the sun that shone through the windows. “Alright. I’ll go make you some coffee.” He kissed the top of his head before he stood up, stretched, and left the room. He shuffled into the kitchen tiredly, reaching the cold tile floor soon and began to brew the coffee he promised. Adding milk and sugar - making it just the way Dean liked -  then walked back into their bedroom and handed the warm drink to him.

“Here you go.” He gave a warm smile. Dean sat up, looking at Cas nervously. “Thanks.” He murmured as he brought the warm mug to his lips. After a few sips in silence, he finally brought up the topic that was clouding his mind.

“If you want to break up, I won’t kick you out. You can stay here until you want to leave.” He said quietly, keeping his eyes on the coffee. “Dean, why would you even say that?” Cas asked, a little angry, a little calm. “I would never leave you, Dean.” He thought for moment before continuing. “You’re my everything, because without you, I would still just be some new kid at our school with an abusive dad. Not myself. And without you, I would kill myself, Dean. I would kill myself.” He finished, tearing up slightly, but not enough to make himself actually cry.  
Dean looked up at Cas for the first time, the bags under his eyes making him look even sadder.  
“Cas..” He said, his voice cracking with emotion. He held his hand out to his boyfriend, wanting to make up for the kiss he had rejected the night before.  
Cas nodded, taking Dean’s hand and leaning in to kiss him. “You don’t taste like beer anymore..” He added into his lips. By now, he had almost entirely forgiven him, but he still couldn’t believe that what the people said had Dean start to think about it. But aside from that, Dean cracked a smile. “Good. I don’t even wanna touch that thing anymore.” He sighed and brought Cas hand to kiss the finger that held the ring. “I’ll never do that again. I promise, Castiel Novak. I promise.” The blue eyed boy nodded again, making sure Dean knew he had forgiven him. “Love you so much, Dean. Endlessly.” He cooed softly. “Never gonna let a girl touch me again, Dean, I promise.” Dean nodded like a guilty child.

“I won’t even look at one.” He resolved, putting his cheek into Cas’ palm.

“I’ll love you, always and forever, Cas. Endlessly.” He breathed, finally starting to relax. “Good.” Cas smiled and brushed Dean’s cheek softly. He could barely think of a life without Dean, and of the small portion of what he could think about, it would be a nightmare.

Dean pulled Cas in for another quick kiss, then flopped back down on the bed. “I’ve never had a hangover before and it sucks.” He sighed angrily at himself. “I feel your pain.” Cas mused, shifting so he laid down right next to him, staring up to the ceiling with a smirk. “I could always help you with you headache…”

“What? I heard that greasy food he-“ He didn’t finish the sentence by the time Cas had rolled over on top of him and pulled down his pants to his ankles. He palmed Dean’s cock through the fabric of his white boxers, eliciting a moan from his boyfriend. “Only doin’ this ‘cause you’ve got a headache. Not gonna be fucking or let you fuck me for a while after this ‘cause of what you did.”

Cas was half serious, but also teasing him a bit. Even Cas couldn’t last more than two weeks without sex after he had grown accustomed to his every-other-day-or-so-routine with Dean.

The green eyed boy propped himself up with his elbows to look up at Cas with wide eyes. “Uh, y-yeah, of course, Cas.” He stuttered, understanding both of the things the other boy said. Finally, Cas leant down, slowly pulling Dean’s boxers to his ankles. He stroked him a few times then licked across the head of his shaft. Dean let the back of his skull touch the mattress as Cas licked. The blue eyed boy didn’t say anything while doing so – he just continued to continue the stripes of his tongue up his shaft.

“Gonna make this real slow, Dean.”

“Cas, you don’t – fuck – you don’t have to.” He said, voice strained from trying to rest, just in case. He didn’t want Cas to do it because he felt like he had to. “I’m doing this for you, Dean. Doin’ this so you know I’m the only one who can suck this dick and I’m the only one to fuck onto it.” He growled, licking a line along the head.

“Mine, Dean. All mine.” He continued, smirking behind Dean’s cock before going back to what he was doing before. Dean nodded wordlessly. He did want Cas to suck him off and to fuck himself on it. And he wanted to talk dirty, but he was afraid it was too soon and Cas would turn away. So, the only coherent word he made was his boyfriends’ name.

Soon, Cas had engulfed his entire length in his mouth, bobbing his head agonizingly slow. “Can’t come till I tell you, Dean..” He said after taking a moment to catch his breath. “Yes, Cas, I won’t.” Dean said, voice frantic and strained.  He had nodded all throughout the length of time in which Cas bossed him around, wanting Cas to return to sucking him off, but didn’t say anything about it. He didn’t want to rush him.

But soon enough, he was back bobbing his head, making sure to take his time. Dean panted, squeezing his eyes shut to try and push the need for release away. In the meantime, Cas’s hand snaked up Dean’s stomach and past that, finding his nipple and playing with it. Dean let an unashamed, dirty moan when he touched the sensitive skin of his nipple.

He wanted to make him beg.

His head bobbing didn’t slow up a single bit, which made him feel like he was about to come, but wasn’t. “Cas..” he groaned out, gripping the sheets tight in his hands. The muscles in his stomach clenched up as he tried to keep still in Cas’ mouth. But Cas wasn’t letting him get to climax, pulling him out as far as possible.

This was payback for what Dean had done, so Cas didn’t know whether or not to continuing sucking his dick, fuck himself onto Dean, or to just stop and not let Dean touch himself the rest of the day, leaving him close to orgasm and with a major hard-on. But Dean had no idea what Cas was going to do next.

“Cas..” He repeated in a pleading voice, opening his eyes and lifting his head up to look down his stomach at his sultry boyfriend.

“Please..” he finally said after a few heavy breathes.

But Cas had come to a full stop, mouth and hands ceasing their movement, mouth popping off his dick with a pop. “Should I fuck myself onto you.. or maybe just stop right here, right now, and not let you come till tomorrow?” He asked, showing his famous cocky smirk. “Fuck, Cas.” He said, shoving his head back into the bed with a groan. He didn’t say anything though because he felt as though it were all up to his blue-eyed boyfriend. 

As of now, and until Cas forgave Dean fully, he was the butch of the relationship. And if this were a different moment, that would have made Dean the horniest 18 year old boy ever.

“Hmm.. maybe I could finger myself – Make you watch without letting you touch yourself and not let you come till I came.” He suggested. “Make you think you should be the one finger-fucking me. Would you like that, Dean?” Dean only let out a whine in reply. Everything sounded good to him, but Cas kind of preferred that last one the most and had left it up to Dean to decide.

“Cas..” He repeated, wanting to at least feel Cas’ skin on his own. Cas made up his mind after another minute or so of thinking. “Suppose I’ll finger myself, then.” He posed, standing up and taking off his pants and boxers, throwing them messily across the room. He moved three of his fingers to the front of Dean’s mouth, asking him to suck on them.

Dean gripped Cas’ wrist and looked at him pleadingly. “Cas, please..” He whined. “I want to touch you.” He watched Cas with hopeful eyes, wanting to please his boyfriend. “Nuh-uh. Now suck.” He ordered, about to forcefully put them into his mouth. Cas liked it when he begged, but then again, he liked it when he slowly made love to him. Right now, it was definitely a time in which he wanted to make him beg.

“Cas..” Dean repeated weakly, trying to hide his disappointment. He wasn’t disappointed in Cas, he was disappointed in himself _making_ Cas even have to do this in the first place. So, he let Cas put the fingers into his mouth and began to suck on them gently. And soon, Dean had lathered his fingers in enough saliva for Cas to need. “Thanks, sweets.” He teased, taking his fingers out of the older boy’s mouth and began to position himself.

Slowly, he added his first finger, letting out a low moan at the feel. Dean huffed at Cas. Refusal of sex made him grumpy, so he turned away and shut his eyes. He tried thinking of his family members to calm himself down so he would survive the day without any blue balls. While Dean had closed his eyes, Cas added two fingers. “Dean..” Cas started to moan.

“C’mon.. open your eyes.” He said in between moans. Dean opened his eyes and gave Cas a grumpy pout, but kept his eyes open, his gaze on the ceiling, trying to count ever glitter in the plaster. That reminded him of the night they had gone to the meadow, so he just covered his still opened his with an arm. Cas hadn’t said anything about that. But soon, his glory days were over and Cas spoke up. “You have to look at me, Dean.” He grumbled, fucking himself down onto his fingers.

Dean growled. “No.” He used his voice like a five year old would use during a tantrum. He wanted to make it up to Cas and he only knew how to do that with sex or dates, or both, but Cas wasn’t going to have sex for weeks and he wasn’t very good with date ideas. So he resorted to acting like a child.

“Fucking hell, Dean. Fine.” He said, taking his fingers out of himself and shifting over to Dean. He impaled himself on Dean’s cock, his back facing Dean’s face. Dean grinned victoriously. “This doesn’t mean you can come…” He said as he began riding his boyfriend. “Still can’t look at you like that, Cas, ‘cause I’ll come for sure.” He chuckled, but sucked in a breath as Cas began to pick up the pace.

He stayed perfectly still, because anything else would make him blow his load into his boyfriend which made Cas grin, the blue-eyed boy seeming to know what his boyfriend was thinking. He was about to come, as well. “You can-“ Dean’s cock began brushing against his prostate with every thrust. “-come.” He finished.

 Dean didn’t for a few seconds as a rebellion against Cas, but did anyways. The feeling of Cas convulsing around his cock was too much, so he lit it loose, moving his arm to look at the boy riding him with a smug grin. Cas had been slightly disappointed when he had given into Dean’s whines, but now, he really didn’t care about that anymore considering how quickly he was bouncing on his dick, wanting more.

And he got more.

Soon, Cas was coming all over his own stomach, spurting the white liquid out of his cock over the length of ten seconds or so. “Endlessly. Never forget that.” Cas cooed as he slowed his movement but still rode the boy beneath him. Dean gathered some of the cum on his stomach with his finger and popped it into his mouth. “Endlessly, Cas.” He repeated. He put an arm under his head as a pillow and continued to clean his stomach off like it was icing.

“Did I help with your headache?” He asked innocently, but couldn’t keep in a smirk. The coffee that was beside the bed had gotten cold. “Yup.” Dean said, popping the ‘P’. He had temporarily forgotten they had had a fight, and had reverted back to his flirty ways, giving out a very content sigh and smile to his very perfect boyfriend. And eventually, Cas lifted himself off Dean, letting out a whine to himself just because he didn’t ever want to stop, but he knew he had to.

“We should go to the diner.” He suddenly said after lying down next to Dean, his head on his collarbone. Dean nodded silently, suddenly remembering why they hadn’t gone yesterday for Valentine’s day.

“You wanna go now or tonight?”

“I don’t really care.”

They were both still incredibly tired, so Dean spoke up. “We could go to the cinema first.” He suggested. It would give them time to sit and relax and be out of the house at the same time. Now, he turned his head to look down at Cas, his nose brushing through the black hair of his blue-eyed boyfriend.

“Alright.” He agreed with a smile. “You know, that was our first date.” He said as he stood and got dressed. “Feels like just yesterday, doesn’t it?” Cas asked, slipping on his shoes. “Yes, Cas, I remember that.” He retorted with a reverie smile. He remembered feeling all of the skin on Cas’ hand for the first time, and then touching their lips together for the first time as well. Cas had a warm smile, thinking back to that same day as well.

Dean got dressed while he thought back to the more peaceful days of their relationship. Hell, just two days ago they were talking about all of the merry love making they would’ve done after the party yesterday.  “It was so simple back then. Well.. four months ago.” He chuckled, taking the coffee that was on the table beside their bed and into the kitchen, dumping it out into the sink. “You ready to go?” Cas called to Dean from the kitchen table.

“Yeah, yeah.” He sighed, rolling his eyes with good nature. He smiled timidly at Cas as he grabbed the keys from the counter. “You haven’t driven baby before, have you?”

“No..why?” He questioned, wondering what Dean was planning. I mean, he’d ridden Dean before, just 20 minutes ago, actually, the only person he could call ‘baby’ without being slapped. But yeah, he’d never driven the impala. Dean smirked and jingled the keys lightly in front of Cas. “Well, I guess it’s about time you started.” He explained, raising a brow lightly to add effect.

“You. Want me. To drive your car? _The_ car?” He said, adding emphasis on the ‘the’. “Noooooooo, you’re lying..” Cas teased, staring at Dean with wide eyes full to the brim with curiosity and disbelief. Dean put a hand on his chest, feigning offense. “No, Cas, I’m telling you the truth. I want you to drive.” At the last sentence, he set his shoulders and raised his chin. Cas laughed. “Well then. Gimme the keys.” He said, walking past Dean and snatching the keys from his hand and walking out the door.

He waited for Dean to get into the car with him so he could see Cas’ face at hearing the impala purr. And soon, Dean was hopping into the passenger seat and tried to get comfortable. This was all new to him. Nobody ever drove the impala, not even his dad. Dean cleared his throat and tried to relax. “Just, uh, be careful.” He mumbled, looking around to make sure there wasn’t anything to hit. “Dean, I won’t hit anything, I promise.” Cas assured him, putting the key in the ignition. He smiled and started to back out of the driveway, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth in focus.

Dean was slowly beginning to relax. Cas was being good to the impala. He eventually took his eyes off the road and settled them on the concentrating Castiel with a little grin on his face. He liked seeing the blue-eyed boy behind the wheel of his car. It was fitting, somehow. Eventually, the two reached the theatre and Cas looked around for a parking spot. The only open space had Cas squeak and say “Dean..” It was in between two cars. As in, a parallel park.

“Oh my god, Dean, I’m not ready.” He said, laughing hysterically behind the wheel, not knowing what to do. And Dean knew the impala was a bit long and was difficult to parallel park, so he paled as he surveyed the situation but cleared his throat and waved it off. “You’ll be fine.” He reassured in between laughs. He trusted Cas completely, and letting the other boy do this was a huge milestone for him.

“Fuck.”

Cas almost hit the car behind him while he was trying to park, then just a second later, almost hit the car in front of him, which scared the shit out of Dean. Besides, Dean was squeezing his eyes shut throughout Cas’ desperate attempt to parallel park, flinching every time he pressed hard on the breaks.

“Yes! I did it!”  Cas said victoriously, hitting the roof of the car with his hands as he raised them. “Told you you’d be fine.” Dean said with a smirk. “I uh.. don’t think I’ll be able to leave the parking lot after this.” He said, talking through a big, wide grin before letting out a long awaited laugh free from his chest. They got out of the car and walked inside, Cas standing just slightly behind Dean so he could hold his hand without anyone seeing, which made Dean scream inside like a teenager girl as their fingers intertwined.

“What’d you wanna watch?” Dean asked, his voice a bit higher pitched than normal. “We could just see the next movie and find out what it is once it starts.” Dean suggested after Cas had thought for a little too long. “That sounds good. I like surprises.” Cas smiled.

They bought popcorn and soda pop before walking into the theatre. “I’m in desperate need of knowing what movie this is.” Cas said with a pout, curiosity overcoming him. Dean shrugged in reply, trying to act like he wasn’t as giddy as Cas. He dragged Cas through the rows of seats and sat in the two right at the top, just holding Cas’ hand until the opening credits rolled across the screen.  

“Oh God… it’s a chick flick..” He groaned, putting his forehead to his hand in shame. Some new movie called _Sweet Charity_ was what it was called. Cas had to hold in his laugh, considering he was in a movie theatre and didn’t want to disturb the others watching the movie. “God, we must look so _queer_ watching this movie.” He teased, trying to get Dean to cheer up a bit from the bad choice of “liking surprises”.

“N-no, I think I see a dude down by the front.. no, never mind, it’s just a girl with short hair.” Dean teased back, giving his boyfriend a cheeky smile and pecked him on the cheek when no one was looking. All throughout, Cas smiled, his fingers soon finding Dean’s and intertwining with them, their arms sharing an armrest.

Cas wished he could kiss Dean.

But he couldn’t.

He wished he could hold his hand in public.

But he couldn’t.

He wished he could hug him in public.

But he couldn’t.

But Cas forced himself to push those thoughts aside because the movie was starting. And even though Dean groaned and complained about the singing and dancing and romance, he eventually started to bob his head side to side to the beat. He may or may not have to the tune for a little while. This all, of course, made Cas laugh a little, out loud even, when he heard Dean start to hum.

The blue-eyed boy turned his head, his chin on Dean’s shoulder. “I thought you didn’t like chick flicks.” He actually nibbled lightly on his ear while he was at it. Dean instantly batted Cas away, flustered and blushing. “I don’t!” He whispered loudly. He huffed his chest out while flexing his muscles. He had taken his jacket off, so his biceps were very visible. He wiggled his brows at Cas, trying to brush off the fact that he had just been humming to a musical.

Cas had to bite his cheeks to stop himself from laughing to hard.

“You, Dean Winchester, act so macho, don’t you?” He began to tease. “When in reality, you just hummed. To a musical. You never cease to amaze me.” “Only true macho men can take dick like me.” He deadpanned with a straight face as he watched the movie. After a second, he snapped his head around to look at Cas with the blank look and twitched his brow and broke into a goofy grin.

“God, Dean.” Cas started through a smile. “Yeah, only true macho men can beg to be bruised and fucked hard by a lesser, smaller macho man.” He continued to tease him, squeezing Dean’s hand a little, remembering everything they had done in the cabin that past Christmas. Dean could feel the ring on Cas’ finger as they held hands and it was a wonderful feeling – knowing that Cas kept it on even though what happened the day before.

“Only for you, Cas.” He brushed his thumb pad over the band.

“And I’d do it again.” He purred into Cas ear, secretly hoping that he would do just that. Maybe in the back of the car. Dean’s heart fluttered, because that would mean Cas was beginning to forgive him. But Cas shook his head.

“Not tonight.” Cas said plainly, oblivious to Dean’s thoughts, not knowing how bad it hurt Dean for saying that. It meant  he still hadn’t forgiven him completely. And Cas didn’t think he ever could, but he didn’t know yet. He would, eventually, forgive him, hopefully. That is, of course, if he didn’t do it again.

Dean nodded.

He settled back into his seat.

He knew he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up, but his heart still felt like an elephant smashed it. He kept his eyes on the boy next to him, not paying attention to the movie anymore. And when it ended, he finally spoke up. “Let’s  go get some food.” He said, tugging on Cas’ hand to get him to his feet. “Alright, alright.” Cas had gotten hungry during the movie so a good burger would definitely do some good.

“Gonna have to let you drive.” Cas said, knowing there’s no way he’ll be able to get out of that parking space.

So Dean drove.

To the diner.

Once they had gotten there and walked in, they sat down across from each other and looked at the menu. Good thing is, is that they didn’t have to pay since this was Dean’s aunts’ diner.

“What are you gonna get?” Cas questioned with curiosity.

Dean glanced up at Cas for a quick second. “The porker. Same as usual.” He answered, setting his menu down. His cousin Jo glided up to them with a smile. “Wanna beer, Dean?” She asked but Dean quickly shook his head. “No thanks, but I’d like my usual please. And a shake.” He said with a little smile. Cas chuckled at that last little bit about the milkshake. “And for you?” Jo turned to Cas and gave a warm smile. “Oh, just a cheeseburger and some fries would be nice.” He said, looking up to her and smiling back at her. “Alright. It’ll be ready in a bit.” She clicked her pen and walked off.

“She your cousin?” Cas asked.

“Seems nice.”

“Yeah, she’s younger than Sammy, believe it or not.” Dean chuckled quietly. He started to fiddle with the silverware as he sat there, trying to conceal all of his negative emotions which Cas didn’t notice. He had thought it was just a little strange to ride in the car so silently with him but it really didn’t bother him. He just thought there was nothing to talk about.

“Is all your family here?” Cas finally spoke up.

“Yeah, pretty much. Though my mom’s dead, so I guess she’s technically living the good afterlife in the clouds and stars.” He answered. “We’re a country family, so we don’t usually branch out. Though I have another little brother named Adam Milligan. I think he’s in prison.” He shrugged at that one, not really sure about his dad’s love child. “Hm. That’s.. nice..” Cas sighed. “I have a sister named Hannah. She’s older than me. Actually, she just started college.” He said with a proud smile.

Food came a minute later. “Burger for you and milkshake and..” She paused to take down the plates. “The regular.” Jo said before walking off. Dean gave her a quick smile then nodded thoughtfully at Cas.

“Sammy told me he wants to get into law school.” He groaned. He was proud that Sam wanted to succeed and everything, but law school cost a shit ton and he’d probably have to end up giving money to his brother to help pay for it.

“Isn’t law school a bunch of money?” Cas asked after finishing a bite of his burger. “How’s he gonna pay for that?” He asked warily. Dean’s brother, from what Cas had experienced, was smart, but he didn’t think he’d ever pursue law.

Dean twirled the straw in his milkshake.

“I’ll pay for it.” He muttered under his breath, barely audible. He would do anything for his brother to live his life out of this prejudice hell hole, and he knew that Sam deserved it. Cas gave a long sigh.

“Dean, what’s going on?” He finally said, realizing his behavior. He really did want to know, and it was bugging him with all the simple, quick answers he was getting. Dean looked up at him curiously. “What d’ya mean?” He asked a little too innocently. He didn’t want to make Cas feel guilty, because it was Dean who should be feeling guilty. After all, he was the one who let the rumors and lies get to him.

  
“I dunno. You seem off.” He took a sip of his milkshake as he waited for an answer. He felt as though it was something he had done. But Dean just shrugged. “I’m fine, Cas. Really.” He wasn’t even sure if saying he was fine even though they had a fight the previous night would make Cas hurt or angry that Dean had moved on so easily. “Just still.. y’know..” “Feeling guilty?” Cas answered for him, brow furrowing. He could tell that’s what Dean was feeling by the way his shoulders were drooped and his head was down.

That’s what he looked like when he felt guilty or angry at himself.

“Don’t be guilty, Dean. Don’t just shake it off and sulk in the leftover guilt the rest of your life. I don’t know what I did, but God, I am so sorry.” Dean leaned forward and covered Cas’ hands with his. “Don’t Cas. You didn’t do anything. That’s why I’m being like this. You didn’t do anything yet I still went off and made out with some girl. I barely even remember her name.” Dean sighed, keeping his gaze away from Cas so he wouldn’t see the pain in them.

“Dean..” Cas breathed, trying to meet Dean’s gaze.

But couldn’t.

He wished he could tell him it was okay and that it wasn’t Dean’s fault.

But couldn’t.

Because it was Dean’s fault.  But he didn’t say anything about that.

“Don’t let some girl that you don’t even remember tear apart our relationship. Endlessly, Dean. Don’t ever forget that.” Cas still couldn’t find Dean’s eyes, but managed. Dean finally looked up to Cas to show how much he meant it when he said “Endlessly, Cas” back, squeezing Cas’ hands a little. He really wanted to just go home and make slow, slow love then fall asleep with Cas tired and still glowing from sex.

The thing was, he didn’t want it in a sexual way or for the pleasure.

He just wanted to be as close as possible to his boyfriend.

“Do you want to go home?” Cas asked, squeezing Dean’s hand reassuringly. “I can drive if you don’t want to.” “I always like driving, Cas.” Dean said in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere a little. “But you can drive.” He slid the keys over the table to Cas, which Cas took from the table before Dean stood to start putting his jacket back on. Cas stood as well, adjusting his sweater, taking one last sip of his shake then walking out of the diner.

He had held Dean’s hand the entire time they walked to the car, sadly having to part when he had to get into the other side of the impala, parting ways for a moment before they were both next to each other again. Cas timidly rejoined their hands, though, after he got in and started to drive off to their house. Dean quickly turned on the heater. It was still winter, so it was around 30 or 40 degrees (Fahrenheit).

It was a little hard for Cas to drive but he still did it.

For Dean.

So finally, when they reached their house, he parked in the gravel driveway and stood out of the car, rejoining his hand with Dean’s after going over and opening his door for him.

Dean walked into their house with Cas, taking off his boots with his toes. Cas did the same. He didn’t really know what Cas was wanting to do, but he didn’t care as long as they didn’t argue again.

He hated how they argued.

After Dean took off his leather jacket and shoes, he guided him to their bedroom, having him sit on the edge of the bed so Cas could sit in his lap, wrap his arms around Dean’s neck, and his legs around his waist.

“I don’t like it when we fight..” He said in a hushed tone into Dean’s lips. The green eyed boy secured his arms around Cas. “Me neither.” He sighed quietly, then placed a tender kiss onto Cas’ mouth. He slowly sank down so he was laying on the bed with Cas straddling over him, then ran a hand through the silky black hair with an awe-filled gaze. “Love you so much, Dean Winchester..” He sighed into his lips, leaning back in and kissing him, his fingers gently playing with the hairs on the back of his neck with one hand, the other resting in the soft mess of blonde hair at the back of Dean’s head.

The kiss was warm.

And slow.

And comforting.

And Dean smiled happily into their kiss, completely okay if this was all he would get for a while. An occasional fuck to relieve some stress and some tender make out sessions when they felt guilty, even if they would do it all over again the next day.

And during Dean’s thoughts, Cas leaned away, only to catch his breath and slowly take off Dean’s shirt. He did the same with his own before cupping Dean’s face and continuing with those warm little kisses that he loved so much. He placed one of his hands gently against Dean’s lower abdomen to steady himself, using only his finger tips, which made Dean tremble under his touches.

Yesterday, when he had woken up with Cas gone, he thought he’d never be able to even see those crystalline eyes again.

Or feel the way Cas held him.

Or be able to touch him, to count every freckle on his face, to kiss those cupid-bow lips.

“I love you, Cas..” He murmured when Cas lifted his shirt off.

“Endlessly.” Said the blue-eyed boy, but it was so breathy that it was hard to understand. He had gently traced his fingertips over his lower torso, sending pleasurable chills down his spine. Cas had already begun slowly grinding against Dean, who’s lower half was still, sadly, covered by two layers.

Dean took all he could get like a greedy, spoiled rich kid. He slowly bucked his hips to Castiel’s movements, using the pads of his finger tips to touch all of Cas’ exposed skin lightly, like a blind man with Braille. “Endlessly, Cas. Not even death will make me stop loving you, even if you’re the one who kills me,” He breathed out, nose brushing against Cas’.

Cas nodded slowly, knowing Dean meant it, eventually wanting to get rid of a few more layers. So, Cas sat up, legs on either side of Dean’s body, taking off Dean’s pants and throwing them across the room. landing somewhere near their shirts. He had begun to unbuckle his own pants, and by the time he had stood up, they were basically off. Soon enough, he was back to straddling Dean, both only in their undergarments, grinding against each other.

Dean stilled Cas by cupping his palms against the other boy’s cheeks. “Cas..” He started nervously, staring up into his eyes.

“Make love to me?” He pleaded, with sad, wanting, puppy dog eyes. He wanted Cas to take, to have his way with him – rough or not. He didn’t care. He just wanted Cas.

“Of course.” He said, lips quivering into a warm smile. He went back to kissing him, smiling into his lips. Soon, Dean’s boxers were off as well, the hand that was on his lower torso snaking down his body to Dean’s sensitive flesh that was under his waist.

Dean melted into the mattress with ecstasy.

“Oh god, Cas, I’ve missed you..” He said, his voice thick with emotion. He knew there were still some rough spots, but he felt like he and Cas were beginning to fill most of them with new Tarmac. Just saying he was happy wasn’t enough to describe what he was feeling. “Never gonna leave you again, Dean. Never gonna walk out on you.” Cas mused. The hand that was trailing downwards began playing with the crisp line of hairs that were just above Dean’s length. He wanted it slow tonight.

Not teasingly slow, but lovingly slow.

Dean bundled the sheets into his fists and kneaded it as Cas began to play with the most sensitive part of his body. If he shifted just right, Cas’ arm could brush softly against the length of his hard on. He rubbed his cheek into the bed at the feeling.

Cas didn’t feel like using his mouth on him tonight, considering he’d done it not five hours earlier, so he only used his hand. He started by running his fingertips up his length before gently running his thumb pad over the head. Slowly, just after that, he’d begun stroking him. Dean let out a very satisfied sigh, laying still for Cas, besides his toes fingers and head. He wouldn’t do anything until told to. Like he’d realized before, Cas was the one calling the shots, and Dean knew that it was perfectly understandable.

“Dean.. don’t hold back.. I’m doing  this for you – just let go..” He breathed, letting his boyfriend do anything he wanted. He just wanted Dean to be guilt free and to be his again, s’all.  Dean instantly hooked his legs around Cas’ waist. “Please, Cas. Hurry. Make love to me,” he begged, rambling over the request over and over, sometimes not even the words forming correctly. He just wanted Cas to take him, to make him forget about his tainted mind and lips.

Cas nodded and took Dean’s legs and placed them on his shoulders after taking off his own boxers. He took the lube from the bedside table and lathered three of his fingers in the cold liquid before sliding one of his fingers into Dean’s ass. He wiggled it around, making sure to brush against and around his prostate just enough.

The green-eyed boy whimpered and let his eyes flutter shut. “I don’t care about the damn lube..” he huffed, but made no attempt to make Castiel stop his fingering torture against his bundle of nerves inside of Dean. Cas stuck onto two fingers at once, causing Dean to grip onto the sheets harder than before, a low, unashamed, moan escaping his boyfriends lips.

While Cas continued to thrust his fingers into him, Dean bucked upwards slightly, his dick twitching at the lack of touch. “Fuck, Cas..” He moaned in desperation. “Do you want another finger, or..?” He asked; brushing his fingers against Dean’s prostate with every single movement. “All up to you, Dean.” He cooed with a warm smile. “I want you, Cas. Endlessly, Cas, endlessly..” Dean rambled on with a higher, strained voice. “Caaas..” He whined, rolling his head forward to give his boyfriend a pleading look.

Cas smirked, taking all of his fingers out and positioning himself just right. Dean’s legs were on his shoulders, which would allow Cas to go deeper than he’d normally be. Plus, Dean had said he didn’t care about the lube, so he hoped the dry burn didn’t hurt too much as he slowly began to push the head of his cock inside of Dean. And Dean thought that the pain of Cas going in dry only added to the pleasure.

He made arched his backed, which made Cas slip in even farther. Dean let out a throaty moan that was all kinds of dirty. The only things that popped out of his mouth was his lover’s name and “make lover to me” at random intervals. Cas let a moan free from his lips as he entered the boy beneath him.

“Hope I’m not hurting you much..” He said, knowing that without lube it would hurt a little more than normal. But Dean quickly shook his head. “Just move, dammit.” He sobbed, tightening his thighs against Cas’ shoulders. Cas happily obliged. He slowly began to thrust, his eyes closed from the pleasure of dry-fucking him. Well, that wasn’t totally true because there was a little lube from his fingers that was left over and inside of Dean, which helped ease it through.

“Love you so much, Dean..” He muttered under his breath.

“Yes, Cas, yes, I love you so much, fuck!” Dean cried out, thriving from feeling the other boy completely. He had a feeling he would ask for him dry more often. Cas immediately relaxed when he heard Dean’s moans; now he knew that Dean _really_ liked it now, his moans louder and more pleasure-filled than ever. “Dean, fuck, fuckin’ you so good..” Cas purred, thrusting faster, hitting his boyfriends prostate with every movement of his hips. The feeling of dry skin against dry skin was also incredibly orgasmic for Cas.

It was like heaven on Earth.

Cas began to thrust faster, losing rhythm, clearly about to come. He pulled out of Dean, only to start stroking himself until his come was spurting out onto Dean’s stomach. He bit his lower lip as he started to milk Dean’s orgasm out with his hand.

“Come for me..”

Dean quickly came into Cas’ hand, literally sobbing his name. The dry texture added to finally making love to Cas really peaked his emotions. Happy tears pooled over the corner of his eyes, a cat-like smile on his face.

“Dean.. I love you so much..” Cas moaned out, leaning down and kissing Dean softly on the lips.

“I don’t ever wanna fight again..” The words came out breathily, their noses touching together, their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. “Never, Cas.” Dean mumbled back, voice thick with unshed tears. He wrapped his hands around Cas’ head, fingers threading through his hairs as he brought their lips together again, Cas smiling into the kiss. He always loved the feeling of Dean’s fingers in his hair.

Eventually, he had fallen asleep beside Dean, in front of him so his bare ass was against Dean’s now half-hard dick. The clock read 11:38. Dean started to put little kisses down Cas’ neck. “Goodnight, baby..” He murmured into the boy’s hair, exhausted from stressing the whole day and having his mind fucking out of him.

“Night, Dean..” He mumbled, grinding into Dean to get comfortable.

Soon, they were both asleep.

Both happy now.

Both completely forgiven,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me, but Castiel gifs are hard to find. I'm doing my best!


	11. For you to me are the only one

 

**Dean woke up a little sore, but very happy.**

Much better than the morning before.

He smiled sleepily at Cas and stroked his hair.

“Wakey, wakey, Cas.” He murmured as he placed a kiss on top of the boy’s head.

The boy under him groaned, shifting against Dean – who was still naked – and let out a long sigh. He smiled, smacking his lips before opening his eyes and blinking the sleep away. Sun shone through the window, birds chirping. It was Sunday, beautiful February Kansas weather.

Dean sighed. “Cas, this whole naked thing is driving me nuts, so could you please get up?” He groaned, trying to contain himself. He wasn’t sure of how far Cas would let him go. So instead, he slid out from underneath Cas carefully and stood to get dressed. Cas just gave a smirk in reply, rolling over and looking at Dean while still lying down. The sun in the room made his eyes look more beautiful and blue than ever.

“Sorry, I just really like feeling your cock against my ass s’all.” He teased. Looking so innocent, which made it so much better when he said things like that. Dean tilted his head back to look at the ceiling in agony. “Cas..”He whined, glancing at the naked boy, then pulled on some felt pajama pants with a pouty face.

Dean had walked into the kitchen by the time Cas had gotten up and put some clothes on. When he walked out of the bedroom, he saw Dean taking something out of the fridge. “Oh, come on, Dean.. Pie for breakfast? Really? Eat a banana or something.” He scolded, taking a banana for himself and peeling it, sitting down at the kitchen table. Dean gave a scoff and made a face at Cas over his shoulder.

“Blow me, Cas.” He huffed. He really wanted his pie, he paused to think it over. Getting blown by Cas would be a nice little morning treat. Cas gave a smirk, putting down the half-eaten banana on the table. He stood, walking over to Dean and pushing him up against the wall.

“I can do that.” He breathing into his ear, sliding his hands from Dean’s shoulders, down the sides of his bare chest, and to his pajama pants. Dean froze  when Cas approached him, but let out a crooked grin when he got onto his knees. “You should know, that by now, saying something like that will give a.. positive.. response.” He pulled down Dean’s pants in a reckless manner, getting  down to his knees in front of Dean’s girth.

“Fuck, Cas, I don’t think you’re ever going to stop surprising me.” He chuckled, letting his fingers run through the other boy’s hair. Cas had placed his hands on Dean’s hips to steady himself. Soon, he had placed his free hand on Dean’s cock, stroking him while he licked a line up Dean’s shaft. “Never gonna stop pleasing you, Dean..” He said right before he put the head of Dean’s dick into his mouth.

“Fuck, Cas, just being with you is pleasing.” Dean moaned, letting his eyes closed as Cas touching him skillfully. Eventually, he had the entire thing in his mouth, not moving his head at all, all while his eyes were glued onto Dean’s. He was teasing him by not moving, but the heat of his mouth was still pleasurable. Dean shifted on his feet, but was careful not to put any more into the other boy’s mouth.

“Cas, please.. Do something.” He whined, hunching his shoulders forward and letting his head hand.

Finally, Cas had begun bobbing his head, using that skill mouth of his to get every inch of it lathered in saliva. “Gonna make it feel so good, Dean..”  He said behind his length to get breath. “Just looking at you makes it feel good-“ Dean cut off with a hiss of breath through closed breath. Cas was going back down on it before he could finish his answer.

“Jesus, Cas..” He groaned, putting a steadying hand on the counter.

Cas’ hand was still stroking him in rhythm to the bobbing of his head. He sped up, his eyes never leaving contact from Dean’s green ones with such an amazing innocence, even though he was sucking the man’s dick, for God sakes.

“Maybe one day I’ll tie you up and fuck all that fake innocence of yours out of you.” Dean mused with a slight growl. Cas smirked around the head of Dean’s cock at the thought, thinking of having a gag in his mouth and his hands tied to the headboard of their bed.  Just that look that Cas was giving him got him all worked up and followed Cas around like the blue eyed boy was a dog in heat.

Cas got a few tastes of pre-cum, which made him know that Dean was close to actually coming. So, he sped his movements to almost as fast as he could go in an attempt to get him to climax. Dean knew just how close he was, too, but kept talking. He remembered just how much Cas liked to hear him talk dirty. “You’re hungry for my dick, aren’t you, Cas? You just love the taste of my cock on your tongue.” He panted, gently brushing some of Cas’ hair off his forehead.

Cas nodded, eyes wide up at Dean. He couldn’t agree more to what Dean had said, because probably, he could suck Dean off till his saliva ran dry, making sure to have Dean come ten times in a row, then he’d stop. But for now, it would only be one round and it was almost over.

Dean let out one final groan and came, hard, into the back of Cas’ throat. “Fuck, Cas..” He huffed, tangling his fingers into Cas’ hair, but left his arm loose if Cas needed to pull away. Which he did – pull away – smirking, happily swallowing his cum. “Love you,” He muttered as he stood up, pulling his pants up in the process.     “Endlessy.” Dean finished, his chest heaving a little.

By now, he was used to having his lungs work over time to have sex with Cas, so a simple blow job was nothing. He grabbed his plate of pie and intertwined his fingers with Cas’, the blue eyed boy smiling and shaking his head, seeing that he continued to eat his pie for breakfast.

“You’re going to be the death of someday, Dean Winchester.” He teased as he walked over to the couch and sat, Dean placing that pie on the coffee table as he sat beside him. Dean placed an arm over the back of the couch and rested his hand on Cas’ shoulder. “Only if we die together.” He winked, but was completely serious. Cas smiled, only to get more comfortable by lying down and resting his head in Dean’s lap.

“ _I wish we could just run away..”_

He really did want to run away with Dean.

Nowhere in particular.

Just away from this small little town in Kansas.

Dean set his plate down on Cas’ chest with a little grin. “We’ll run away after you find a college and get that full scholarship you deserve. I’ll find an apartment close by, and you can come over after your studies.” Dean said, planting a quick kiss on Cas’ forehead. He gave a slow nod in reply, eyes closed, lips parted.

He always looked so peaceful like this; especially with fingers running through the back of his silky black hair. And he was also especially peaceful because he was so close to Dean. His soul-mate, it seemed.

“ _I want to travel the world with you, Dean Winchester.”_ He mused, smiling sleepily. Dean bent and kissed him fully on the lips in reply. “I’d do anything you ask. Hell, I’d buy you a monkey if you asked me to.” He answered after a minute of calm silence. Cas chuckled, happily kissing Dean again, adding some tongue to the mix.

“MmmParis..” He mumbled, obviously falling asleep right there in his lap. He had a feeling his dreams would be filled with fantasies of him and Dean living off somewhere in Europe in their own little part of the world.

Careful not to wake Cas up, he finished his pie, then returned the plate to the coffee table. He lifted Cas slowly into his arms, then carried him into their room like he was a feather. Cas woke just barely to know that he had been moved to the bedroom. Once Dean tucked Cas back in, Dean got dressed in silence, grabbed his wallet and keys, and drove off to get.. something.   

Cas was oblivious to the fact that Dean walked out of the house.

“Europe..” He mumbled in his dreams, continuing on with his fantasy dream world.

Meanwhile, Dean walked in the cold for about half an hour before he saw the perfect thing to get. He hurried into the store and asked for a dozen of them then carefully set them in the passenger seat and drove back home to Cas.

Finally, Cas woke to the sound of the door opening and closing. He grumbled, blinking the sleep away from his eyes all while listening to Dean’s footsteps trail nearer to their bedroom.

That’s what Dean had bought for him.

Delphiniums. Y’know, the big blue flower.

Well, they could come in many different colors, but as of now, they were blue like Cas’ eyes. [dem blue eyes tho for real]

“Hey, Cassie.” He said quietly with a shy, nervous little smile as he sat on the edge of the bed, scratching the back of his neck. “Hey..” He muttered, not turning over to look at him due to wanting to sleep again. Besides, he wasn’t anticipating a gift, so he didn’t hurry to look at it. “I got you these, ‘cause you and your.. blues..” Dean mumbled, holding them out and not meeting Cas’ eyes. His blush spread from his ears, to his cheeks, and to the back of his neck.

Cas finally turned over and looked at Dean with a sigh, clearly about to tell him to go away so he could sleep, but instead, gave a warm smile. “Dean..” He muttered, sitting up. He carefully took the flowers from Dean’s hands, examining them, making sure not to let a single petal fall off. “Dean, these are gorgeous. Thank you.” Dean turned his head away from him, too embarrassed to look at him, his boyfriend desperately trying to Cas his gaze, but not succeeding.

“Hey..” He muttered. You could hear the smile on his face. “I love them, Dean, so don’t be afraid or ashamed of buying me flowers.” Cas purposely twirled the ring along his finger, reminding Dean of his promise to Cas. Dean finally turned his head towards Cas and took his hand. “I’m not ashamed. Just.. shy.” He shrugged, then leaned his shoulder on Cas’.

“What should we do today?” He sighed in boredom. “Dunno.” He muttered in complaint. “The ice rink?” He asked, bringing his head up with a smile. “They got all the new Beatles songs, there, ya know, and Elvis, too.” It was the first thing he could think of, so he gave it his best shot. And Dean nodded.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I’m probably just gonna sit on the bench and listen to music, though. Can’t skate worth shit.” He agreed. “Though we need some lunch first since we slept most of the morning.” He chuckled. Cas smiled before beginning to shift out of their bed and ruffling Dean’s hair on the way to get his clothes. He put on a sweater and a vest, along with some basic pants, then walked out of the room. “Wanna go the diner and get some lunch, then?” Cas asked.

Dean had followed Cas to the kitchen like a love sick puppy. “Hmm,” he said thoughtfully, wrapping his arms around Cas’ waist. “I suppose that’s okay, since it’s free. I’m sure Jo would love to see you. If she wasn’t twenty something years older than you, I might not let you anywhere near her.” He teased with a kiss to Cas’ cheek. The blue-eyed boy smiled, leaning backwards into Dean’s embrace. “And why’s that?” He said, spinning around in his arms, looking up at Dean with those amazing eyes of his. To steady himself, he had put his hands on his hips.

Dean smirked down at Cas, but it was adoration in his hooded, forest green eyes. “Because I don’t want anyone looking at you like I do.” He answered like it was obvious. To prove his point, he kissed Cas softly on the lips for a few seconds, the boy beneath him smiling into the kiss. “Better get goin’ then.” Cas said. He was hungry and needed something to eat desperately, and to prove his own point, his stomach growled. So, he walked over and put his shoes on, grabbing his coat as well.

Dean swatted Cas’ butt lightly as his boyfriend walked away, which made Cas laugh and only to turn away and walk to the door. “Bossy.” He huffed with amusement as he followed after him, pulling his own jacket back on and taking out his keys. Cas waited impatiently for his boyfriend to get into the impala and turn on the heat, ‘cause he was freezing. Soon, Dean had hopped in with Cas and have him another peck on the cheek. He drove easily over the asphalt and pulled into a parking spot with a quick stop to make Cas rock forward. Dean gave a crooked smile then got out to open Cas’ door.

Dean’s boyfriend stood out of the door, walking into the roller skating/ice rink with Dean beside him. They bought tickets and got skates.

Dean was forced into skating gear.

No one else was there to see them, so Cas took Dean’s hand and guided him out onto the ice, even though he knew Dean didn’t want to skate. Cas couldn’t skate either, but what the hell, right? “But Cas, we just ate. Shouldn’t we like, rest for an hour or somethin’?” Dean whined as Cas pulled him into the rink. He stumbled after Cas, flailing his arms out with each step.

 Cas laughed. “C’mere.” He said, taking Dean’s other hand into his other hand. “Okay, are you steady?” He asked, making sure Dean wasn’t going to fall onto his ass, which was inevitably going to happen, so he wondered why he was even doing this. Anyways, Dean took a few seconds until he nodded. He still had his feet spread a bit farther than he should have. A good Led Zeppelin song came on, and he got distracted, which made him flip back on his rear, dragging Cas down on top of him. He gave him a soft kiss that only lasted a few seconds.

“C’mon. We can do better.” Cas said with a smirk, pulling him back up. Dean let out a whiny groan as he was pulled back up. “Don’t get distracted this time.” He ordered, although the way Cas looked so adorable when he was focused was always very distracting. As they somewhat “skated” along, Dean got a little behind, then started to look at a different kind of behind on Cas. He gave an appreciative smirk and had his eyes glued on the back pockets of Cas’ pants.

Cas continued on until he came to a sudden stop, which made Dean abruptly grab onto Cas’ ass in an attempt to not lose balance. “You were staring at my ass!” He said with a wide grin, about to bend over laughing, but if he did, he would definitely lose balance. Dean scoffed innocently, but he grinned soon after. “So what if I was? It’s _mine_ anyways.” He said bravely and gave it a quick squeeze, then attempted to skate away as fast he could.

“You little-!” Cas shouted after him, even though he had moaned just barely when he had given his butt a squeeze. The level of cockiness in that boy was just enough to either turn Cas on or to make Cas angry, and right now, he was definitely the first option.

Dean turned his eyes to grin at Cas, but his eyes widened when the tip of his skate stabbed into the ice. He flailed his arms dramatically as he fell down, scraping up his hands to where a small amount of blood slowly began to pool on the ice. “Son of a bitch..” He groaned, resting his cheek on the ice. Cas’ smile instantly faded as he skated over to Dean got down next to him. “Dean.. are you okay?” He asked, looking at the blood that was on the ice, brow furrowed. “I’m fine, Cas. Just a little scrape and some blood s’all.” Dean chuckled and used his elbows to push himself up enough to get to his knees beneath him. “I’m totally fine if this is the consequence for touching your ass.” He breathed cockily with another grin.

Cas smirked before taking Dean’s hands in his and placing them on his [Cas’] ass. “Humph.” He said with a cocky grin, squeezing his hand for him before suddenly skating away. Dean gave a playful growl and got to his feet. Instead of going around the edge of the rink, he cut across diagonally and stopped right in front of Cas, pulling their chests close, placing his hands on Cas’ rear again. Cas smiled, pressing into Dean, letting out a little gasp at the feeling of Dean touching him. He leant in for a quick kiss, doing so warmly against his lips, but it ended quickly when there was a shout from the other end of the ice rink.

Dean pulled away quickly and pretended to be examining his hands. “It doesn’t hurt that bad, stop fussing about it. What are you, my girlfriend?” He said, acting completely nonchalant, even though he was shaking on the inside. Cas moved away just a step so it didn’t look more suspicious than it already was. “Jesus Christ, when the fuck are the girls gonna get here?” Cas said, making up lies to try and make this seem as heterosexual as possible.

“I saw what you were doin’ to that boy!” The man exclaimed again. Clearly homophobic. Like everyone else on this damned planet.

 Dean looked over with a very confused look. “Ew, man, he’s my brother.” Dean made a disgusted _are you hearing what I’m hearing_ look to Cas and turned back. “He’s always fussy, so he was takin’ a look at my hands.” Dean shrugged.

“You were touchin’ ‘im!” The man said. “Old man, I think you’re imagining things. He’s my brother. We were just waitin’ for our girls to get here and he slipped and scraped his hands so I was takin’ a look.”

The man shook his head, opening his mouth to say something, but instead, just left.

Dean made a _that was close_ face, then started to giggle. When he got out of sticky situations, he started to giggle the adrenaline out of him. “We should get out of here..” Dean suggested. “Yeah, probably a good idea.” Cas said, taking off his skating gear. Dean was hurrying out of the rink with a stupid grin on his face to the side of the rink to get his normal boots back on.

They finished changing soon and then walked back to the impala.

“I wish we didn’t have to lie. I mean, I have no problem with lying, but I hate the stuff I said.” Dean sighed and held Cas’ hand once they were in the safety of the car. “I know you didn’t mean it.” Cas gave Dean’s hand a quick squeeze. “I love you, Dean.” Cas had reminded him with a warm smile, kissing him before he could drive away from the parking lot.

Dean grinned as he put the car into gear and headed back home.

“Y’know, we can still finish all that stuff once we’re home..” He purred suggestively, throwing a smirk Cas’ way with a dirty glance.

“Gladly.” Cas have a cocky smile in return then looked back at the road. Somehow, the two had managed to get home without smothering each other, but that didn’t last long when they walked into the door of their small little Kansas house.

Dean had his arms around Cas right when they crossed the threshold. He kicked his boots off without really looking at them, because he had his mouth of Cas’. Cas smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck when he had the chance. “God, I love you, Cas.” He breathed around the other boy’s lips. He reached down and picked Cas up under the knees and pressed him against the closest wall.

“Never gonna let ‘em get to me, Dean..” He breathed into his lips gingerly. His fingers were running roughly through the back of Dean’s blonde hair, but gently enough to not pull on it and hurt him, of course. “Hell no. They’re not even gonna touch you.” Dean growled into Cas’ neck as he sucked and nipped at it.

“So, who’s gonna top?” He chuckled and ran his palms under Cas’ shirt and up his sides.

“You.” Cas said plainly in reply. He leaned his head back so that Dean could get easier access to his neck, sighing pleasurably at the feeling.

Dean pulled Cas with him away and carried him swiftly into the bedroom. He set him down carefully then climbed over him, pulling Cas’ pants off in the process. He kicked his pants away, only to do the same with his sweater and vest.

“Make love to me, Dean..” He asked of the boy who was hovering over him.

Dean grinned and kissed Cas’ abdomen. “Anything for you.” He whispered, and pushed his own pants and shirt off. “Which means I would take you to Europe if you wanted. How ‘bout a whole year? More? Once Summer starts.” Cas smiled. Dean knew he had always wanted to travel the word, and now, ever more with Dean next to him. Cas couldn’t make out any words, for he settled for pulling him down and smacking his lips against Dean’s.

“We’ll travel all across the continent and maybe even visit Moscow since we’re already there. And maybe go see the Savannah and see the wildlife there. Then we’ll spend the last month or two.” Dean listed, kissing Cas randomly in the middle of his sentences as he retrieved the lube and slicked up his fingers. He smiled at everything Dean had said, even into the kiss, and especially his statement about Paris.

It had been such an innocent thing to talk about while Dean was about to have sex with Cas, but at the same time, it couldn’t have been more perfect. 

As Dean smeared some lube on Cas’ hole, he continued the conversation. “I have to admit, I did get the idea from you talking in your sleep this morning. But it still sounds like a lot of fun.” With that, he pressed in a finger, and added another after a minute or so. Cas gripped the sheets, moaning as the second finger entered him.

“Dean..” He growled, eyes closed, the back of his head digging into the white sheets. “One more finger and you’ll be ready.” Dean cooed, trying to calm down his boyfriend while he slipped in the third and last finger, which made Cas bite down on his lip. While he thrusted his fingers softly, Dean continued to whisper sweet nothings into the skin of Cas’ neck.

“Dean, please.. just fuck me already.. don’t care about the lube..” He growled, a moan coming with it as Dean thrusted his fingers inside of him, wanting to the preparation to be over and to just have Dean _inside_ of him. The green-eyed boy hummed in thought for a second, then retrieved his fingers. He lubed up his dick, but continued to stroke it so he was completely hard.

“I’m gonna make love to you, Cas.” He said as he touched the head of his penis to Cas, “nice and slow.” He eased through and loosened the rim of muscles as he pushed himself into Cas, the boy below him loving the feeling of Dean fully inside him without enough lube. “Faster..” He begged after recovering from the slight dry burn of skin-against-skin, only to be replaced with an immensely satisfactory pleasure. His boyfriend shook his head as he rocked back and forth in a slow, steady rhythm.

“No, Cas. We should be allowed to love each other. I love you, Cas.” Dean breathed, tucking his face in the crook of his lover’s neck. Cas nodded at that, signaling for Dean to turn his head, which he did, and kissed him softly with those beautiful cupid-bow lips of his. Suddenly, he was moaning around Dean’s mouth as he hit his prostate, making him rock back into Dean for more pleasure.

Dean applied a bite more pressure to Cas’ special spot and continued to do that each time he moved forward again.

“In Europe, I bet I can kiss you as much as I want.” Dean murmured around Cas’ lips, feeling his own dick throb, ready to come whenever Cas does.

“Ungh.. Dean..” He cried out, gripping the sheets harder than before, squeezing his eyes shut from pleasure. “Dean.. I’m coming.. I’m coming..!” He said, feeling his climax begin to rise. “Touch me, Dean, please,” he begged before digging his head back into the sheets once again. Dean gave a little growl in reply, lifting a hand that had kept some of his weight off Cas and reached down to stroke the boy beneath him.

“Come for me, Cas. Show me how much you love me.” He breathed into the other boy’s ear.

“Dean, fuck, love you much..!” He cried, thrusting back into the boy above him harder than before. Soon, he was releasing all of Dean and the sheets, groaning in pleasure throughout his entire fantastic orgasm. This made Dean lift his head and smile down at the writhing Cas and came hard inside of him. It was well earned, since he went slow and drew it out to build it up more than usual. He felt the hair from above his crack stand up on end and move up his back to the hairs on his head like a wave.

 **“I love you endlessly, Castiel**.” Dean panted with a tired, blissful smile.

“Love you more than anythin’, Dean Winchester.” He stated proudly, smiling up at the green-eyed boy with a smirk. “And uh.. yeah. I suppose Paris is nice.” He said plainly. Dean was still inside of him, barely moving his hips to help Cas calm down after his climax. “Like you weren’t dreaming all about it this morning.” Dean chuckled, then wiggled his hips lightly.

“What if I refuse to pull out?” He asked cockily and let his arms go limp so he was laying fully on top of Cas, putting a bit more pressure onto him.

“Well..” Cas started with a smirk. “I guess I wouldn’t do a single thing ‘bout it. Hell, I’d let you sleep with your dick up my ass.” That was something Dean wasn’t expecting. But Cas was _completely_ serious, aside from the cocky smile that lay tiredly across his face. His boyfriend raised his brows in surprise, but shrugged and snuggled down again. “Keep us nice and warm.” He stated as he turned his head to pull the blanket over their intertwined bodies, burying his head into Cas’ shoulder.

Castiel was gasping in pleasure when Dean had pulled over the blanket.

Well, about every time he shifted because he was still pressed firmly against his prostate.

He knew that in the morning his ass would be sore and he would feel empty the rest of the day, but hell if that wasn’t the best trick to this whole rodeo. So, he ground his ass into Dean as much as possible, which made Dean tense up a bit, getting him as deep as he could before moaning again and closed his eyes. Dean also had a feeling that he wouldn’t go soft again until a few hours after finally separating from Cas.

“Better stop movin’ or I’ll have to spank you.” Dean threatened with a devious grin.

Cas didn’t obey his orders.

He shifted again against him to “get comfortable”.

“Fuck..” Cas moaned silently. He would probably come again sometime later in his sleep, but he really didn’t care much about that.

“Thought you said people should be able to love each other.” Cas said peacefully before continuing. “And I’m fairly sure that spanking is most definitely not a part of the average relationship.” “But Cas, we’re not average.” Dean chuckled and reached down to cup Cas’ ass and give it a quick smack. It was mostly noise and only a little tingle once his hand lifted off. It was the pleasurable type of pain – not too much to where it actually hurt.

“Fuck, Dean..” He groaned, which made him “accidentally” shift again. “You gonna spank me till my ass is red around your cock?” He smirked, grinding back into him again. Dean gave another quick spank in answer. He rested his head on Cas’ shoulder, the breath from his nose moving the hair curled around Cas’ ear.

“Hmm.. Maybe.” Dean chuckled finally and nibbled on Cas’ earlobe. Cas smirked at that, feeling Dean press harder against his special bundle of nerves and biting back a moan to where only a squeak came out. He knew Dean was in control, which made Cas chuckle softly to himself.

“What was that, Cas?” Dean asked innocently, but knew full well what had really happened. He trailed the pads of his fingers over Cas’ side and patted his rear again.

“Maybe tomorrow I’ll let you tie me up with that blue tie.” He pulled said tie out from the drawer in their nightstand.

“Thought you were gonna use that tie to bind my hands to the headboards and fuck the fake innocence out of me?” Cas said, taking directly what Dean had said and feeding the words back to him.

Dean hummed. “We can do that before. That way you’re not innocent when you fuck me for revenge. He said with an eyebrow twitch and a wink. Cas smirked. “Good idea.. now lemme go to sleep.” He mused, closing his eyes peacefully, naked and wrapped in Dean’s arms.

Dean started to sing _Thank You_ by _Led Zeppelin,_ his voice quiet and slightly off key because of the lowness of it.

_“And so today, my world it smiles, you’re hand in mine, we walk the miles. Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.”_

At the end of the verse, he fell asleep.


	12. German Food Is Delicious

**It was the last day of school until summer.**

Cas was sweating in his plain white tee and shorts. It was probably, so far, the hottest day of the summer, but hopefully it wasn’t like that in **Europe.** Their plane would leave at 6 PM today and they would arrive in Germany – their first stop overseas – after a very long plane ride. Cas had worked at an animal shelter [Which, might I add, paid surprisingly well] and helped around at the mechanic shop Dean worked at to help pay for the trip.

Dean was sitting in his last class, his knee jittered from impatience. Finally, when the bell rang, he was able to shoot out of his seat, pulling the bag onto his shoulder. All the girls screamed in happiness as the bell rang. Some cried, though, because most would go to different colleges than their friends. Good thing was, for Cas, now that school was over, he didn’t have to see a single person from this damned building ever again.

 Dean waited with a huge grin on his face by the usual spot.

When Cas spotted Dean near the entrance of the building a good five minutes after the last bell rang, he ran up and jumped into his arms, catching him in an embrace. Dean let out a full laugh and spun Cas around a bit. “Europe, here we come.” He said into Dean’s ear, smiling wide. “Let’s go home first.” Dean chuckled and attempted to Carry Cas to the car. His holding wasn’t good though, so he gave up and made Cas walk half the way.

“What should we do until we leave for the airport?” Dean asked.

“Pack, I suppose.” Cas replied.

Over the duration of the school year, they had planned out everywhere they would go, starting with Germany, and of course, ending with Paris.

Dean chuckled. “Cas, you’ve packed five times this past week. We’ve got enough stuff. If we run out, we can buy more. We’re spoiling ourselves for this next year [or more.. you never know… shh..]. We deserve it.” He reached over and put Cas’ hand in his.

“Fine..” Cas said, who was panicked about the whole thing, worrying he would get onto the plane and realize he forgot something. They even had [almost] all of Dean’s records and quite a few of Cas’ books, along with hundreds of Polaroid pictures Cas had taken of him and Dean because he didn’t want to forget a single moment of the two if somehow they parted.

Dean smiled reassuringly at his boyfriend. “We’ll be fine.” He repeated and parked in front of their home. “Sam’s gonna take care of the house and the impala while we’re gone. Everythin’ is taken care of.” Cas smiled. “Alright.” He stepped out of the car and walked into their house.

“Now what?” He asked, bored. Suggestions of things to do ran through his head, none seeming very interesting. Dean walked over and crawled across the couch so he laying on his stomach with his cheek on Cas’ lap. “My heart was beatin’ like crazy all day, so I think a nap would be nice.” Dean suggested. “A nap sounds nice.” He cooed, carding his fingers gently through Dean’s hair.

He made sure to set their alarm [it was on the coffee table. They thought it would be good to have, considering they would fall asleep on the couch after, well.. you know.] to 5:00 PM so they could get to the airport on time. Dean nuzzled into Cas’ legs and hand with his eyes shut. He didn’t fully fall asleep, but it was enough for his mouth to stay open for a little drool to collect on Cas’ pants.

 

 

Cas was woken up by the alarm two hours later at five o’clock with Dean still resting in his lap. “Wake up. We gotta go to the airport.” Dean lifted his head slowly and smacked his tongue a bit to get his spit to collect into his mouth again. “Huh?” He asked sleepily and squinted up at his boyfriend, then sighed and got to his knees.

“Okay, let’s put everything in the car.” His voice was raspy and deeper from sleep. Cas always thought that was terribly sexy. The blue-eyed boy stood up after Dean, grabbing two of the multiple bags and walking outside into the humidity of Kansas, placing the bags in the trunk. Dean still had heavy steps as he carried the rest to their car. There was no way all of the bags could fit back there, so the rest had to go in the backseat. Once he shut the door, he brushed his hands together with finality, then shook his head vigorously to wake himself up.

“Alright, let’s go to the airport.” Dean said with a grin, then dragged Cas to him with an arm around his boyfriend’s waist and planted a big kiss on his lips. Cas smiled into it, holding it out longer than it needed to be, but soon they were both seating in the impala.

The anticipation was getting to the both of them, considering they were so close to boarding that plane, and being able to go to Europe, and best of all, with each other.

Dean drove all the way to the airport and passed through security with a very happy smile. Once they were taxiing across the runway, he changed his expression. He was visibly pale and a little clammy, gripping Cas’ hand tightly, eyes squeezed shut. “Dean, a-are you okay?” Cas stuttered, squeezing his hand reassuringly. He had no idea why he was ever so pale, even though reasons of why that could be were running through his head.

Dean nodded quickly.

“Peachy.” He croaked, not opening his eyes. “Just a little nervous s’all.” He began to hum a Led Zeppelin song in an attempt to calm himself as they sat in their seat.  “ _A little?_ ” Cas asked, laughing after putting their bags above their seat and sitting down. Of course, he got the window seat. He wanted to be able to see the ocean as they flew over the vast, blue, shimmering waters. “Shut up.” Dean huffed, but still smirked a little at Cas. Each time the plane had turbulence, he winced.

And when he got up to pee, he gripped the seats tightly there and back to and from his seat.

“Planes are not normal, Cas.” He groaned.

**“Well, we’re not normal.”**

Luckily, they had gotten a row of three seats, but no one had been in the third seat, so the row was to themselves. “Dean, I’m right here. Not gonna let a single thing happen to you.” He said soothingly, taking Dean’s hand in his and squeezing gingerly.

“My guardian angel.” Dean chuckled, then finally turned to look at Cas. “How’s the view?” He asked, trying to distract himself. They had only been in the plane for about four hours now, but they were just now going over the ocean. “It’s amazing. Look.” He turned so Dean could see out the window, watching his reaction closely. The green-eyed boy leaned over Cas timidly and looked down.

“That’s a lot of blue. I’ve never seen the ocean before, to be honest.” He said, sweeping his eyes over the random patches of deeper ocean that had made spots almost black, or at least a navy blue.

“I have.” Cas muttered, eyes widening. “I was with Hannah, before my dad got bad. We had went to the ocean for a family vacation. I think I was seven.” Cas started, trying to remember more, but all of his memories of anything before Dean were so vague. Dean smiled softly at Cas and put his hand on his boyfriend’s. “Well, we can go this and next summer.” He suggested.

Cas smiled back at him.

“Alright.”

He turned back to looking out the window, marveling at the site.

When they finally stepped out of the German airport the next morning, Dean wanted to get on his knees and kiss the ground. “Oh thank god..” He sighed happily, stretching his arms out and taking a deep breath. They had grabbed the bags, of course, but as of now, Dean had dropped them to stretch.

Cas laughed, looking around. He had taken a French class and learned the basic German langue, along with a few others so he and his boyfriend could get by in more foreign countries. Soon, he was stretching out along with Dean, but soon the fun was over.

“C’mon, we need to go get our bags.” He tugged on Dean’s shirt, giving him a warm smile. He could see the German city out the large, wall-covering airport windows.

Dean let Cas drag him by his shirt and shuffled to the baggage claim after picking up the bags they already had. “God, I want to sleep all day..” Dean groaned as he picked some of the other bags tiredly. Cas took the rest, walking out of the airport and waited for a cab. It was sometime around 10, so he could easily get used to the time difference. Soon enough, a taxi came by and took them to a _very_ nice hotel.

During the drive, Cas marveled at all the buildings and how different some things were.

Meanwhile, Dean was practically falling asleep in his seat.

The plane ride had kept him up the whole ride, so he didn’t see all the extraordinary things Cas did. When they arrived at the very nice hotel that Dean had booked for a few days, he sat up quickly and looked around, a bit confused. “Okay, Dean, c’mon.” He smiled, paying the cabbie and then taking the bags out of the trunk, Dean doing the same, then following him inside.

Cas had gotten to their room – which was on the fourth to last floor – and smiled. “You didn’t have to get such a nice room, Dean..” He muttered, dropping the bags tiredly on the floor. Dean shrugged. “This is a big deal for you, so I wanted to make this special.” He set the bags he was carrying down on the foot of their royal-looking bed and slowly began to undress himself, tossing his jacket on the chest next to the bags.

Cas smiled, also beginning to take off his clothes.

They had decided that Europe was definitely a more formal place, so he knew what he would be wearing for tomorrow. They were obviously both too tired to fuck [or make love, whichever they preffered], so they didn’t and rather slept in each other’s arms in the _immensely_ fluffy and comfortable bed.

Dean would never admit out loud that he loved sleeping in a fluffy, girly bed, but damn, it was nice. When he woke, he felt rejuvenated. So, he opened his eyes with a smile and kissed Cas’ forehead lightly.

“Morning..” Cas muttered, tired and happy at the same time. He smiled, blinking the sleep away from his eyes and then looked at Dean. “Did you sleep well?” He asked, blue eyes looking even more blue than normal in the morning light of 10 AM. “Yeah.” Dean answered. “Though, I kinda wanna sleep s’more..” He sighed, shutting his eyes and pulled Cas closer. He had a very content smile on his face as he rubbed his cheek against Cas’ hair.

“We could have breakfast in bed.” Cas said, stomach grumbling, so he sat up. “Waffles sound amazing right now.” He kissed Dean softly against the lips for the first time in a different country. Dean tried to follow Cas’ mouth when he got up.

“Sounds good, baby..” He sighed once he returned to lie down. “I think I read that there’s a waffle iron somewhere in here..” “You.. do realize that we could just order room service?” Cas chuckled. He knew that Dean must have been tired, ‘cause there was a phone next to the bed, along with two menus just for times like this.

Dean waved a hand at Cas. “I’ve never used room service in my entire life.” He grumbled, eyes still closed, but a pout formed on his lips and brows. “Well, there’s a first for everything.” He said with a little smile, picking up the  phone and dialing room service. He ordered their food, a man appearing at the door about 30 minutes later with fresh waffles, bacon, eggs, and sausage.

Dean finally set up at the smell of bacon and sausage. “Food for a warrior.” Dean cheered, and arranged the blankets so he could eat while they were still covering his lap. Cas smiled beside Dean, taking his food eagerly into his lap, sitting so that their knees and shoulders were touching. He dug into his waffles and eggs, taking a sip of orange juice every so often to help digest everything.

Dean, aside from Cas’ very polite manner, basically scarfed everything down like the animal that he is.

“Mm, Germans make good sausages.” He moaned around the meats he was chewing. He’s been doing this – moaning around his food – with Cas for months, so he was over the embarrassment. “This food is amazing.” Cas said in reply after another sip of OJ. He had already eaten about ¾ of his waffle and finished all of his eggs, only to steal piece of sausage and a piece of bacon from Dean’s plate.

Dean yelled something, but his mouth was full of food which made it disoriented. He mock-glared at Cas as he shoved the rest of the sausages into his mouth and chewing, the ends still sticking out like a bunch of cigarettes.

“You are an animal.” Cas teased, meaning it in both ways [if you catch my drift]. When his waffles had finally disappeared off his plate, he put the syrupy plate on the bedside table and burped. “E-Excuse me..” It was the first time Dean had head Cas burp, and he had to admit, it was kinda cute.

Dean had to hold himself back from a giggle, though. “That was weak, babe.” He laughed once he finally swallowed his food. He straightened his back, rested a fist on his chest, made a face, and.. belched. It was a full on belly burp that vibrated the whole bed.

“Dean!” Cas exclaimed, slapping his boyfriend’s chest playfully. “You are so gross.” He laughed, taking Dean’s plate out of his lap and placing them on top of the others that were on the table. Dean shrugged and pulled Cas to his side and gave him a greasy kiss. “I’m just disgusting. Why date a guy like me?” He chuckled and gave him a peck on the lips.

Cas didn’t answer his question, saying “God, Dean.” Instead because the heavy taste of grease and sausages and eggs was on his boyfriend’s tongue.

“Where should we go today?”

Dean sighed and flopped back down on the pillows.

“I don’t wanna..” He groaned, pouting up at Cas. “I’m still sleepy.” He whined. “Fine.” Cas said, leaning back down and letting his head rest against Dean’s collarbone. “We can stay here all day, but we have to start tomorrow.” He muttered, looking up at Dean with a sleepy smile. Dean swiftly grabbed Cas and dragging him on top of his chest. “Good.” He mumbled, holding Cas tight and burrowing his nose into his hair.

“I bet we’re going to come back to Sam with accents.”

“Imagine that. Us. With accents.” It was hard to think about, but they managed.

“I hear that everyone here likes to hear American accents.” Cas said with another smile. “Wait ‘till they get a hold of my charming southern accent.” Dean said with a grin. “Might have to fight some people, off Cas.” He smirked as he imagine Castiel fighting people over him.

“Kinda hot.”

Cas laughed, turning his head and giving Dean a warm kiss.

“I love you so much, Dean. Endlessly.” He muttered quietly, beginning to feel the warmth of his boyfriend’s arms that were wrapped protectively around him. Dean gave another quick kiss to the top of Cas’ head/ “I feel like you would fit well in Russia. We’ll get you some furry hats and coats. Though, we need to be careful with the villages. They’re crazy.” He chuckled.

Cas laughed softly as well, shifting slightly in the bed before taking a moment to think about it. “True, Russia does sound very nice. But they’re _very_ strict about.. y’know…” He started, almost feeling ashamed of continuing. Dean frowned. “Then we’ll only go for a day.” He said with finality. He hated having to bring Cas somewhere that didn’t like queers.

Cas sighed, closing his eyes in the process. “That sounds good..” He smiled warmly, words slurred from drowsiness. “We’ll experience the New Year in a different country.” He mumbled, shifting to get more comfortable. Dean ran  his fingers through Cas’ hair. “And we’ll have a much better Valentine’s Day. Maybe we can go to Africa for a warmer Christmas.” He listed quietly.

Cas smiled, thinking back to the last Valentine’s day, not wanting to give in, but did by immediately frowning. He sighed. “Why not New Zealand for the Winter?” He suggested, blank faced, not being able to smile again due to him continuously thinking back to the previous Valentine’s day.

Dean hummed in thought for a second. “Yeah, I heard that it’s beautiful there. I bet a Hobbit would live there.” He replied thoughtfully, oblivious to Cas’ thoughts. He lifted his head to look down at him with a smile.

“Anywhere you want to go, we’ll go.” He informed.

Cas nodded slowly.

He was clearly about to fall asleep.

Which he did, after a minute or so after Dean had spoken to him. He was anxious to get up and go, but still, at the same time, incredibly tired. They had decided that for their first official night in Europe, they would go to the fanciest restaurant they could find and that’s what the planned to do after the slept again.

Dean remained awake the whole time, stroking his hand through Cas’ hair to his lower back. He was thinking of all the ways to spoil the hell out of his boyfriend.

Cas was snoring softly, his chest rising and falling slowly due to being so calm and content in his sleep. He woke about five hours later, Dean not having moving from his spot, stroking his silky, black hair soothingly. “Hi..” Cas said, blinking his eyes open. “Hello.” Dean smiled back, his eyes open and just staring up at the ceiling. He glanced down with a grin.

“So where are we going again?” He asked a bit sheepishly.

“Some place that I can’t pronounce without sounding dumb. Gotta get real fancy though, so c’mon.” Cas said, groaning as he sat up. Eventually, he had managed to stand up and stretch, getting ready after doing so. Dean rolled off the bed, onto his feet and padded over to their suitcases. He pulled out a smoky gray suit, dove gray button up, and maroon red tie. He dressed rather skillfully for one who rarely every wore a suit, and pulled his dress shoes out.

Cas had gotten a white undershirt, a blue tie, tying it backwards, though, and then put on a gray vest. His pants were a light gray color and his coat was smoky gray as well as Dean’s, but a bit more posh and fancy. Dean chuckled at Cas backwards tie then paused. “Cas, is that _the_ blue tie?” He asked with a raised brow, approaching the other boy to fix the tie.

“Yes, it is _the_  blue tie.” He said and laughed. “I suppose it’s a very.. special tie. Though, of course, considering so many good, good, memories came from it.” Cas gave his boyfriend a little wink. Dean rolled his eyes as he loosened it then slipped it over Cas’ head to flip it. He tightened it just a bit much, but not enough to choke. “I suppose it does.. and we can add two more tonight.” He winked back and walked over the bed to put on his shoes.

Cas put on his dress shoes as well, smiling all throughout due to his green-eyed boyfriend’s previous comment. “You ready?” He asked, leaning up against the hotel door. They still had to rent a car, and considering all the countries were so close together, for now, they would just drive, or take a train everywhere they went.

“Geez, Cas, let’s at least get some dinner first.” Dean snickered, but knew what Cas meant. He gently pulled Cas forward to open the door, then held his hand as they went to the elevators and outside the hotel, onto the street. The city they were in was on a mountain, so the sunset was much earlier and it was already darkening. They caught a cab and told the cabbie where to go, the man taking them there for just a few [euros? Pounds? Forgive me.]

Dean got to the door first and held it open for Cas with a flirty bow. “After you, my love.” He said in a random accent. He gave his boyfriend a suggestive smile and an eyebrow wiggle. Cas laughed, gladly, stepping in front of him and into the restaurant. It was, grand, really, with murals on the wall and people around them sitting at two-seated tables, drinking expensive champagne and talking quietly to their lovers.

A man came up to them and guided them to a table, smiling warmly as they did so, then handed them menus. Luckily, there was an English translation under all of the German.

Dean read everything with a very confused look upon his face.

“I don’t know how to say any of these names.” He whispered with a scared look. “I’ve never had any of this stuff. Just hamburgers and pizza..”

“I can help you find something, then.” But, before he could do so, the man came back and offered drinks. Cas ordered champagne for the two of them, along with waters. The waiter left to get what the beverages. “Look. Shnitzel. It says it’s a thin, boneless meat, coated with breadcrumbs, aaaaanndd.. oh, it comes with a slice of lemon on top. Does that sound nice?” Cas asked with a warm smile, pointing to where the food he had just explained was on the menu.

Dean frowned. “That’s probably as good as it’ll get for me. I’ll steal some of your food, too, though.” He added the end with a grin, not too worried about the food. He didn’t want to ruin Cas’ night, so he forced himself to try something new.

Their drinks got there soon after Cas had chosen something for his boyfriend. He ordered for them, of course, considering he was the one who had taken four different classes to learn the basic languages, or at least, for the places they would stay the longest in. He had bought a meat soup called Eintopf along with some Kartoffelpuffer [potato pancakes] for a side. The man who would bring the food poured champagne into their glasses ever so carefully before walking off again.

Dean took a tentative sip of the champagne. He had promised Cas no more alcohol, and this was his first sip since February. He didn’t know how easily it would get him wasted, so he mostly drank from the glass of water. Cas as well took a sip of the bubbling yellow drink, smiling as he placed the glass down. “That’s really good..” He said, blue eyes wide. “You should have more.” Cas kicked Dean’s lower leg playfully, then began to dig in to the food the waiter had brought to them.

Dean narrowed his eyes playfully and ran the toe of his shoe up the inside of Cas’ thigh. “It is good. Designated driver, though, remember?” He asked with a grin and took a bite from his Shnitzel. He made an appreciative face and took another bite once he finished chewing.

Cas smirked at where Dean’s foot was going.

“So you like the food?” He took a tentative bite of the meat soup. He definitely liked his food, considering he couldn’t remember the last time he ate somewhere so formal. Dean swallowed and wiped his mouth with the napkin carefully. “Yeah, it’s pretty good. How about your.. soup. Thing.” Dean asked in return, looking up at Cas curiously. “It’s great.” Cas took another bite. “And it’s called Eintopf, by the way.” Said the sassy side of Cas, who had taken another bite once finishing his statement.

Dean narrowed his eyes not so playfully as threateningly sexy. He knew Cas was well aware that Dean liked to fuck Cas’ sass out. The green-eyed boy used his foot to pull a leg of Cas’ seat forward a smudge to let his boyfriend know that he’d noticed, then returned his foot to the inside of his thigh, and closer to his crotch.

Cas suddenly moaned around his food.

“Dean..” He said after he finished chewing. The man suddenly came by, noticing they had basically finished, and asked if they wanted dessert. “Dean, do you want dessert?” Cas asked. Dean rubbed a hand over his stomach as he leaned back with a grin. “No, thank you. I’m way too full.” He replied like nothing had recently happened other than eating their meals.

“Alright.” The waiter said, handing them their bill. It was around $100 in American money, which really wasn’t much at all compared to how much money they had saved up.

Dean looked at the price and pulled his wallet out from his jacket pocket. He set down the bill with a few Euros as a tip. “So do we just leave?” Dean asked as he returned the wallet to its original spot. “No, we stay here all night.” Cas paused for a moment. “Yes, Dean, we _just leave._ ” Cas sighed, the sass coming back on full power. They had caught another cab and drove back peacefully to their fancy hotel in their fancy clothes in this fancy country.

They stood silently in the elevator.

When they got into their room, Dean immediately closed the door and pressed Cas’ stomach against the door lightly, so his cheek was against the wood.  “How many times do I need to show you how much your sass gets me horny in the wrong places?” He growled into the other boy’s ear, grinding his groin into Cas’ ass, which elicited a groan from his boyfriend, wanting more friction.

“Not enough.” Was Cas’ sassy reply once again.

“Fuck, Cas.. gonna have to punish you..”

“Well, I like it when I’m punished..” He said with a smirk, leaning the side of his head against the door. Even more than friction, he wanted Dean’s cock deep in his ass. More. Than. Anything.

Dean sucked on Cas’ neck for a minute before pulling away and directing Cas over to the bed. He untied Cas’ tie and pushed his coat off his shoulders, along with the suit jacket. “You kinky thing. You just crave my dick, don’t you, Cas?” Dean brushed his knuckles lightly across Cas’ cheekbones and jaw line.

“I do, Dean, I do..” He chanted religiously. He knew Dean was in control, so he didn’t bother taking off his own clothes and let Dean do it for him. Which he did, slowly unbuttoning Cas’ shirt and tossed that to the floor, too. “Like that one time I stayed buried in you the whole night. You were sore as hell for a week, but you fucking loved it.” He purred as he used the tie to slowly bind Cas’ wrists.

“Should I tie you bellow up or on your hands and knees so you can’t see me when I fuck you?”

“Belly up..” He moaned, the silk blue tie as he was bound to the headboards of the bed, his hands above his head. He groaned, wanting to touch himself, but smirked after accepting  that he was tied up and that Dean was in control.

The green-eyed boy got off the bed after checking that the knots wouldn’t slip. He slowly undressed himself like Cas wasn’t waiting there for him with a hard on in his pants. Once Dean was nude, he finally crawled back to Cas and cupped him through his jeans with his hand, sending a moan free from Castiel’s lips, hips bucking into the touch. He panted, needing more.

“Dean.. more..” He begged, gripping the headboards to keep himself steady.

Dean looked at him in thought, then nodded. He undid Cas’ pants and slowly pulled them over Cas’ legs before tossing them over his shoulder onto the floor. They can iron them later. He bent over Cas’ cock and placed a few inches into his mouth. Cas gasped at the sudden contact on his dick, moans escaping his lips unintentionally. “Deam..” He groaned, bucking his hips into his boyfriend’s mouth, making his entire length go in, hitting the back of Dean’s throat on accident.

Dean paused, looking up at Cas with a fiery look. He pulled away slowly, dragging his tongue across Cas’ length. “Now look what you’ve done. You move too much, so now I can’t give you a blow job.” Dean said sadly, but there was still a large amount of lust keeping his eyes dark and pupils hidden. Cas whimpered in desperation.

“Please..” Cas begged with sad, pleading blue eyes, full of lust. “Need you, Dean, don’t care about prepping.. need you..” He begged, the words surprising even himself as they fell off his lips.

Dean shook his head.

“Oh, Cas, I spoil you.” He sighed.

“But since you’ve been a sassier teenage girl, I’m gonna have to punish you.” He untied his own tie that was  around his bare neck and wrapped it carefully around Cas’ eyes.

“Dean..” Cas said, letting out a wanton sigh. He liked the idea of not being able to see what was happening or what was going to happen. _He liked_ only being able to use his senses of hearing and touch to know what Dean was doing or was going to do. And Dean really had to blindfold Cas because just one look of those pleasure-filled, blue eyes could turn him into putty in Cas’ hands.

Soon, Dean was grabbing the lube that he had set on the nightstand table that morning and lathered his dick up. “Dean..” He could hear his boyfriend put the lube onto his hands then lather it onto his length, but aside from that, that was the only thing he could tell was happened. The lube would help Dean go in without causing too much damage to Cas.

“Fuck me, Dean, make love to me..” He continued. “Wanna feel you fill me up just right without using your fingers first. Wanna get bruises ‘til we leave Germany from having your cock so far up my ass.” In the meantime, Dean trailed the head of his dick around the rim of Cas’ hole. “Say it again, Cas. Tell me how much you want me. Tell me how much you love me.” He growled and slipped in a notch with a swift thrust.

He loved hearing Cas cry for his touch.

“Ungh, fuck, Dean..” He moaned.

“Love you so much.. wanna feel empty ‘til the next time we fuck, wanna have you fuck me mercilessly ‘til there’s cum all over me and you..” Cas continued to beg. He wanted more touching. And _pushing_ for god sakes. But he couldn’t tell if that was going to happen or not. He could, though, feel Dean trailing his palm down Cas’ leg to his ankle, then hiked it up onto his waist. This made him go in farther, and Cas’ dirty talking made him harder and longer.

The blue-eyed boy continued to moan, bucking his hips to the feeling of his boyfriend going into his unprepared ass, which made it hundred times more pleasurable for Dean considering he was tighter than ever. “Dean, please.. faster..” He begged, his hands on the headboards, gripping for dear life.

Dean began to accelerate his thrusts at that, his movements speeding up until the whole bed was waving. His pants were loud, and Cas’ moans, which were almost inhuman, were music to his ears and spurred him on to go even faster. He had to curl over Cas and keep his boyfriend’s legs hooked around his chest. Even though they were covered by the tie, Dean stared down at the place where Cas’ eyes would be. “Dean..” Cas moaned, sensing his eyes on his even though they were covered. Luckily, the entire floor was to themselves, or else people would definitely be complaining about the two having incredibly passionate, and loud, and _specifically rough_ ¸ sex.

Suddenly, Cas felt the heat of Dean’s mouth on his, kissing him hotly, tongue shooting into his mouth. Cas eagerly kissed him back. The green-eyed boy ran his tongue back and forth, over Cas’ tongue, massaging it. This didn’t distract him – only made him go even faster. He felt his climax begin its approach, as did Cas when he felt him swell up inside of him, but Dean didn’t want to ever stop.

Cas was also soon to come as Dean began to hit his prostate with every thrust. His moans, now, were muffled by Dean’s mouth. Sadly though, with a wet pop, Dean pulled his lips away and turned his attention to Cas’ nipples. He let his breath warm and tickle them so they hardened. Soon, he was placing his lips around one and started to suckle and nibble at it.

“Ungh, Dean..” Cas moaned, loving the feeling of Dean’s skilled mouth against his nipples as he sucked, licked, and bit them. “Fuck.. Dean.. I’m gonna come.. I’m gonna come..!” He exclaimed, his climax building to an immense pleasure, wanting release.

Dean ignored Cas’ exclamation.

He kissed all the skin his lips could reach on Cas. So many red welts formed, and he knew that some would remain for a week or two as hickeys and love bites. He then cupped Cas’ balls, which had been smacking them both lightly from Dean’s steady rhythm.

Cas was coming all over his stomach, as well as Dean’s, crying out his name until it wasn’t even an illegible word. He had no idea if Dean would keep going though, so he just bucked his hips into Dean continuously for more pleasure. But, Dean had slowed a bit, still enough to bring him over the edge. He kept thrusting his come into Cas, his own spunk serving as extra lube. He marveled in the feeling, but men had to recharge a bit before they could have another go, so he eventually stopped.

“Dean.. Love you so much..” He moaned, wanting to be able to see him and kiss him but couldn’t. He was still panting, recovering from his orgasm.

Finally, Dean let Cas’ legs drop and he untied the bondages and blindfold.

He gave a crooked smile despite the light sheen of sweat on his forehead that made his hair spiky.

He bent and placed a much softy kiss onto his boyfriend’s lips before Castiel could render what was happening. But when he felt lips against his own, he smiled, and kissed him back eagerly. “Endlessly.” He muttered, sweating from the heaven of pleasure he just felt. Dean hummed in agreement, he too, too high on bliss to form words. He waffled around inside of Cas one last time then pulled out.

Dean collapsed on top of Cas, placing light kisses on his neck, eliciting little chuckles from Cas as he tilted his head to the side so Dean could get a better angle.

“So how much longer in Germany?”

“How long do you want to stay? We have this room for a week but we can easily shorten it.”

“I think we should go to Amsterdam for a couple days. Then Venice for a week because the canals there are amazing.” Cas smiled, thinking about the other places they would go to within the next six months, for the other half of the year they would probably end up renting an apartment in Paris or London.

Dean nodded thoughtfully. “We could go to some art museums. They have a lot more stuff than back in the US.” Dean suggested, his eyes closed. “Oh, the churches ere are amazing. I love the gospel them and such.. and the Van Gogh Museum is in Amsterdam, too, so we could go there..” He didn’t think Dean was listening, but he still went on.

Well, Dean _was_ listening for as much as he could, but eventually fell asleep with a smile on his face. He enjoyed listening to Cas talk about his interests. But his voice was so peaceful to listen to, and it could put him to sleep within minutes.

“And maybe we could go to Spain and-“ He paused when he felt Dean begin to snore against his mop of silky black hair, a chuckle pushing out of lips as he closed his own blue eyes.

He fell asleep soon after his boyfriend, arms wrapped around each other in bliss, and love, and hope for good to come in all the tens of years in the future that they knew they would still be wrapped in each other’s arms in. Hell, 2020 could roll around and they’d be sitting in some retirement home, bickering, sitting on some shabby little couch with grey hair and happy smiles on their faces.

That was something Cas dreamt about that night.


	13. Nothing Very Fancy

**The time leading up to a very significant promise was quite normal, really. Nothing fancy, I suppose I should say.**

The following May, Dean was standing on the balcony of their Paris apartment, just watching the city life move about. He heard their mail go through the slot in the door, and turned to look at Cas. “It’s probably tons of acceptance letters from colleges you didn’t even apply for.” Dean teased. Cas stood up and stretched – he had been sat down next to Dean for what must have been an hour without standing up – and raced over to the door, picking up the letters and sifting through envelopes.

He found one from Oxford.

He tore it open – formalness was not of import at the time.

After a minute or so of nothing, he finally spoke up.

“Dean..”

Dean looked over again then walked over to read the letter from over Cas’ shoulder. He was frozen for a moment, too, but then picked Cas up in a hug. “This is great, Cas!” Dean exclaimed then set his boyfriend back down with a kiss to the cheek.

Cas couldn’t help but laugh in joy, a smile plastered onto his face.

“It’s a full ride, Dean.” He said after being put down, but kept his arms wrapped around Dean’s neck. “That’s awesome!” Dean said, him too with a broad grin. “I can just stay here and find some place to work while you go to school and we can visit Sammy during the Summer.” He paused and looked over to his jacket. “Oh, fuck it. I’m gonna give you something I’ve been trying to give you for so long and it wasn’t the right time every time I did it, but this is.” He rambled and pulled away from Cas’ arms.

He got the velvet box out of his jacket pocket.

He got onto a knee and opened the box.

**“Castiel Novak, will you marry me?”**

Cas was tearing up a bit, standing there speechless in front of Dean for a moment.

“Yes..” He said under his breath first.

“Yes, Dean, yes I’ll marry you!” He finally said, causing Dean to spring up and hug him. Cas squeezed him a little _too_ tight, but hell if that even mattered. “I love you, Dean. So, so, so, so much.” Dean kept pecking Cas on the lips in between the words of the other boy’s speech. “Endlessly, Cas.” Dean laughed, starting to kiss his way around Cas’ face. Finally, Dean met Castiel’s lips and they kissed. It wasn’t exactly soft and it wasn’t exactly rough or sloppy.

“Perfect timing, Dean.” Cas said, still oblivious to the fact that Dean had tried this multiple times before. Dean laughed again. “Really? I’ve been trying to propose for months now!” He explained and kissed Cas again. **“I’m gonna marry you, Cas.”** Dean breathed in amazement. **“We’re going to marry each other.”** Cas added. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders and then kissed him again. He couldn’t hold the excitement in, and even saying that didn’t even begin to explain how happy they both were.

“We don’t have to move.. Oxford is only two hours away on the train..” Cas smiled, their lips brushing against each other’s. Dean kissed Cas a few more times, too. “It’s about time.” He chuckled and held Cas up a few inches off the ground. “I love you, Cas.” He murmured against his new fiancé’s lips, pecking them some more. “I love you, too, Dean Winchester. Endlessly.” He said, his fingers playing gently with the hairs on Dean’s neck. “Never gonna take this ring off my finger.” He added, placing the little silver ring against the his “endlessly” ring.

“Better not.” Dean growled playfully, nuzzling his face into Cas’ neck. “This feels so right.” He sighed happily, placing a kiss on the skin. “It’s always felt right.” He muttered, moving his hand up to the top of Dean’s messy blonde hair. “Always and forever; Endlessly.” He mused peacefully, staring out the balcony door at the Eiffel Tower.

Dean set Cas back down and grabbed the comforter and pillows. “Just like at the cabin, where I gave you the first ring.” He explained softly with a smile as he fanned the comforter across the carpeted floor and tossed the pillows down. He pulled Cas down to it with kisses and warm smiles, his fiancé laughing as he fell on top of Dean. “And what do you plan to do to me on these pillows?” Cas teased, brushing his lips against Dean’s once again.

Dean grinned.

“I’m not doin’ anythin’ to you. You’re the one who gets to go to Oxford.” He replied with suggestively raised brows and kissed Cas once more, laying down to where his back was on the floor. Cas smiled at that, putting his knees on either side of Dean’s chest, leaning down and kissing him, his cheeks in his palms, smiling into the kiss. “Fine. But next time, I’m the one with a cock up my ass.” He posed, just before starting to kiss the soft flesh on his fiancé’s neck.

“You promise?” Dean smirked back, then slowly pulled Cas’ shirt off with trailing fingers across the other boy’s stomach. “Make love to me, Cas. Show me how much you love having that ring on your finger.” He breahed.

Cas gave another little smirk at that.

The music that was playing on the record player chanced to _Come Together_ by _The Beatles._ “How do you want to do this, hm?” He asked, staring down at him, keeping a grin on his face. “All you, Cas. I just want you.” Dean purred, resting the back of his head against a pillow. He had forgotten to grab the lube, so he gently pulled Cas’ fingers to his mouth and began to suck them slow.

Blue eyes widened as he began to suck his fingers, Cas gasping a bit at the sensation, pulling down Dean’s pants with a single hand whilst his fiancé sucked firmly on his fingers.

Dean unbuttoned Cas’ pants and pushed them down to his knees, Cas’ semi-hard dick popping out. He moaned around the fingers in his mouth when he saw it.

Cas actually _moaned_ at the sound Dean made, pulling his fingers out of Dean’s mouth. He decided on placing Dean’s legs on his shoulders this time, which he did, then pulled Dean’s boxers down, adding two fingers at once into his hole. Dean stiffened up at the quick invasion, but soon relaxed into the feeling, practically melting into the blanket and pillow.

“Make love to me, make love to me, Cas..”

Cas didn’t reply.

He added another finger.

“Never had four fingers, have you?” Cas purred, thrusting his three fingers to stretch him out a bit, hitting his prostate on occasion.

Dean shook his head with an innocent look. His boner ached to be touched, but  was either going to come by Cas’ touch or none at all, just the way he liked it. “What’re you gonna do to me, Cas?” He whispered. Cas didn’t reply once again. He brought his other hand over to Dean’s cock, stroking him with steady rhythm. “This’ll help a little bit with what’s going to happen.” He muttered, slowly pushing in the fourth finger. The stroking of Dean’s cock made the pain subside just enough to not hurt _too_ much.

Dean gasped, then let out a long, unashamed moan at the feeling of being _so_ full. “God, Cas, I love you, you know what’s perfect for me..” Dean panted, rocking his hips back towards Cas’ knuckles. Cas leant down and kissed Dean softly as he began to slowly thrust his fingers. He could feel and hear Dean’s moans in his mouth as the vibrations ran to the back of his throat.

“Cas, I want to feel you. I want you in me.” Dean begged, the feeling of an extra finger bringing all kinds of hormones and emotions up. He felt like sobbing from the lack of Cas’ dick and from loving Cas too much, if that was such a thing.

Finally, Cas nodded, taking his fingers out of Dean and positioning his length against the rim of Dean’s ass. “I got you, baby.. gonna make you feel so good..” He purred, slowly pushing in, hissing at the feeling of such a pleasurable heat around his cock. Dean moaned again from the ecstasy of having Cas’ cock sliding into his ass.

“Oh, Cas..” He sighed throatily, tears pooling up at the corners of his eyes. He pulled Cas closer an inch by tightening the muscles in his legs that were around Cas’ neck .The blue-eyed boy threw his head back, eyes closed, moaning as he thrusted at the perfect speed into Dean. The rhythm he had on Dean’s cock was in sync with his thrusts.

“Dean..” He moaned, placing his free hand on the ‘V’ that was formed on his fiance’s waistline. Dean pushed his forearms into the blanket to anchor himself and stay still as Cas rocked into him. He switched from pushing his head back in pleasure to lifting it up to watch Cas’ dick move in his ass. “I’m gonna come soon..” He squeaked after a few minutes.

Cas gave another quick nod, biting down on his lips as he felt his own climax near. “You can come when you want..” He added, moaning between almost each word. He quickened his pace with both his hand and hip movements, making both of them able to come a little sooner.

Dean groaned at the accelerated movements, then finally came into Cas’ fist and onto their stomachs, his lover’s name being shouted from his lips. Cas’s hand still on him and his dick still moving inside him made his orgasm stretch on longer. Cas, too, came hard and long after Dean did, shouting his fiance’s name out as well.

“I could not love you more than humanly possible.” He said as he slowly pulled out of the blonde-haired boy.He continued to stroke him though, making sure to get every wave of pleasure out of the 21 year old boy beneath him. Dean whimpered one last time, weak stream of cum spurting out onto Cas’ fingers a couple seconds later.

“Oh.. Cas.. I can’t wait until we get married..” He sighed, marveling in the feeling of Cas’ warm liquids sticking to his insides. “Nor can I.” Said the blue-eyed boy, stopping his hand movements and flopping down beside Dean so his ass was against Dean’s cock. “I have to go into London tomorrow to set up my classes.” He said out of the blue.

Dean rolled on to his side and wrapped an arm around Cas so he was touching his back to Dean’s chest. “Do you want me to go with you?” He asked, his breath blowing the hair on his neck softly. “You can come if you’d like, but you’d have to wake up especially early.” He sighed. He knew that school was a huge deal and that it would take up lots of his time, but still, he needed it, and he hoped to be able to plan it so he only had classes every other weekday.

Dean nodded.

“Anything for you, Cas. It’s a big deal, so you shouldn’t have to go alone.” He murmured, ignoring the drying and sticking cum on his stomach. He made sure that it didn’t touch Cas, though.

Cas smiled, turning his head and taking Dean’s chin between his index finger and thumb, turning his fiancé’s head to kiss him softly on the lips. “I love you.” He posed, staring into Dean’s eyes longingly. Dean smiled into the kiss.

“Cas, keep it up and I’ll have to make love to you, too.” He chuckled softly and kissed Cas again, the blue-eyed 20 year old boy chuckling as he pulled away. The rings on hif giner brushed against Dean’s skin. “How ‘bout you take my _endlessly_ ring and I wear the one you gave me earlier.” He suggested. Although he hadn’t taken off that rink since two Christmas’ ago, he felt as though it would be right.

Dean smiled into Cas’ shoulder as he kissed it. “That’ll work.” He said and helped take it off Cas’ finger. He slipped it onto his own and poked Cas’ nose playfully.

Cas looked over to the clock that was across the room. “It’s only 11.” He sighed. “Anywhere you think we should go after taking a nap?” He asked curiously, going back to his more comfortable position by turning his head again. Dean hummed in thought. “Not really. My brain is still groggy from sex. You?” He asked, tracing Cas’ arm muscles with the pads of his fingers. They eventually reached down to Cas’ hip, so he slowly started to slide them forward to Cas’ crotch with a sly smile.

Cas’ eyes widened as Dean’s hand reached the base of his crotch, gasping in pleasure at the sudden sensation. He moaned under his breath, biting his lips as Dean’s hand slipped further down, about to take his length into his hand, which eventually, he did. He ran his thumb over Cas’ girth back and forth slowly while his head was tucked into the crook of Cas’ neck.

“I love touching you. You make the best sounds.” He murmured and gave Cas a small nip as he took him into his hand and started to stroke slowly.

Cas released another moan in reply, grinding back into Dean’s cock to add more pleasure. “Only make these sounds for you, Dean..” He added, throwing his head back against Dean’s shoulder. Dean used some of Cas’ still wet cum from his own ass to slick up his fingers and the head of his cock.

“I’m gonna fuck you slowly, Cas, so I can hear those words.” He whispered, pushing his dick against Cas but not breaching. He kept stroking Cas so he was nice and hard. “Dean..” He cried, the feeling of his fiancé stroking him almost too much.”Make love to me…” He breathed, grinding against Dean so his dick rubbed against his hole but not going in.

Dean pecked Cas’ shoulder. “Do you want to go without prepping?” He asked softly, his eyes hooded from love and lust. He kept touching Cas’ dick and even ventured down to tease at the skin between Cas’ balls. Cas nodded, about to just thrust himself back into Dean if he didn’t get going. The moans that left him were pleading ones by now, almost whimpers.

Since Dean’s other hand was trapped beneath him, he pulled the hand on Cas’ dick away, dragging his dick with his hand. He poked the first notch of his finger into Cas, then pushed the head of his dick inside too. He paused so Cas’ insides would get used to it, and slowly started to slide in farther. Cas cried out as he entered him without any preparation, but the pain subsided very quickly.

“Dean..” He moaned, bucking his hips back into him, signaling for him to start moving. “Fuck me, goddammit.” He said after Dean had been too absorbed in the feeling of the heat of his ass. Dean used the arm that was under him to support his weight as he pushed further into his fiancé. He waited a bit longer after that, then pulled back away to where his dick was about to fall out. As he moved back into Cas, he pressed kisses on the vertebras that were visible on the back of Cas’ neck.

Cas moaned, grinding his back into Dean for more pleasure. They weren’t loud moans, yet, but mostly they were just sighs that came from Dean kissing his neck.

“Dean..” He muttered as he hit his prostate head on. Dean wrapped his arm around Cas and pressed himself further inside. He slowly started to jack the other boy off. “Gonna fuck you so slowly..” He purred with an evil little smile. “You’re going.. too.. slow..” He sighed, suddenly removing Dean’s dick from his ass. He felt emptier than ever, but that would change soon.

“C’mere.” He ordered, leading Dean into their bedroom and grabbed two silk ties, tying him to the dresser that was against the wall of their bedroom.

Dean was on his back again, hands bound to the leg of the dresser. He lifted his head to watch Cas with wide eyes, straining his wrists against the ties. “Cas..” He said with false warning in his voice.

“What? You were going to slow..” He said flatly, just before impaling himself back down onto Dean’s cock, bringing one of his own hands up, stroking himself. The other hand was placed on Dean’s abdomen, steadying himself as he rode his fiancé at a _much_ better pace.

“Ungh..” He moaned out in pleasure.

Dean turned his knees more than usual so they were in a more comfortable, accessible position. “Cas, fuck..” He hissed out, resting his head back down on the floor. “Dean..” He groaned as he began to hit his prostate with every bounce of his hips. A lustful, tired kind of smile was across his face as he rode the green-eyed boy, loving the feeling of having him so far up his ass with no preparation.

Dean began to moan again, moving his head from side to side as his whole length was swallowed into Cas’ ass. He wanted to grab Cas’ hips, curl him over, and hump him madly like a dog, but obviously that wasn’t happening.

“I can tell that you love and hate being tied up..” Cas muttered, eyes closed in pleasure. Almost each word was coated in moans and gasped, considering Dean’s dick was slamming against his prostate with each thrust. His head was thrown back and his hand was going in no specific rhythm, but _god_ , it felt good.

“I’d rather tie your hands to your ankles and touch you until you’re close to coming repeatedly.” Dean growled back. Even though he seemed threatening and angry, it was just the sex and dirty kinks talking. “Maybe I could put on those pant-“ He paused, moaned long loud and unashamed, then continued. “-panties you like..” He finished with a little smirk.

Dean moaned back as he imagined it. “Tomorrow, when we get back from Oxford.” He said sharply. Damn, he couldn’t wait for the next 24 hours to pass so he could do so many dirty things to Cas tied up and dressed in panties.

“Ungh..” Cas groaned, clearly about to come. And when he did, he had screamed out, loud, not even caring if the neighbors heard, his cum spurting all over his and Dean’s chest. “Dean.. Dean.. Dean..”  Were the only audible words he was saying as he came.

Dean was struggling against his ties, baring his teeth and growling slightly. “God, Cas, fuck..” He pushed out, desperate to meet Cas on cloud nine and have his orgasm. He wanted to pick Cas up and ravish him onto the bed until they were both puddles on the sheets.

Cas quickly got off Dean once his climax passed over and placed his mouth over the head of Dean’s cock. He began bobbing his head, his right hand stroking him in rhythm to the bobbing of his head. Dean had cried out for Cas when their contact was lost, but it was cut short with a surprised moan when Cas went down on him. “You are so going to beg for me tomorrow, Cas.” He growled.

“But I think you wanted to do. You love my punishments for shit like this.” He flared his hip muscles and went a bit farther into Cas’ mouth with another groan.

Cas gagged a bit, but he’d done it before, so he didn’t mind it at all. His eyes were glued onto Dean’s, never losing contact the whole time through as he sucked him off. Soon, he felt Dean buck his hips in a desperate manner, signaling that he was going to come soon, so he sped his movements.

At the feeble gagging noise, Dean lost his reign. His dick spasmed as it shot another load out into Cas’ mouth. “Cas!” He cried, panting heavily, his chest heaving.

Cas happily gulped down the entirety of Dean’s cum, leaning up and kissing him when he had the chance. Dean kissed him back, ignoring the taste of his own cum. “Sorry ‘bout that. You were going a little too slow for my liking.” He teased, his lips brushing gingerly against Dean’s. “Well, sorry, I was trying – and failing – at being romantic since we just got engaged.” He chuckled. He didn’t really mind it though. New ideas had been created because of this.

Cas smirked, leaning up so he could untie him. “Hope I didn’t hurt your wrists much.” He said, with sad, puppy dog eyes. “Now we should go somewhere.” He sighed, bored all of the sudden. “We are in Europe and we can literally take a train or cab to anywhere.” He added with a chuckle as he laid down beside Dean on the off-white carpet. They laid like that for a bit, until Dean stood up and massaged his wrists for a moment. “I guess we can go out to eat.” He suggested as he padded into the bathroom.

The faucet could be heard for a few seconds, and then he returned with a warm, moist towel. He sat back down next to Cas and started to clean them both up, and then pulled Cas back to his chest to cuddle. Cas let his head rest in the crook of his neck as he smiled. “Is Paris your favorite?” He asked, peaking his head out of  his fiancé’s neck so he was able to be heard. His opinion on Paris was probably, by far, his favorite place out of each of the countries they visited.

They were so happy together in Paris.

“Cas, my favorite is wherever you are.” Dean replied instantly, meaning every word. “Sam keeps telling me it’s completely obvious.” He chuckled with a little blush warming his cheeks. Cas chuckled softly into Dean’s neck, placing a little kiss on the soft flesh. Soon, he was standing and walking out into the great room once again to put on his boxers and pajama pants.

“Come spoon me.” He teased, calling for Dean to come into the other room. He had been sat down on the couch after turning on the TV. Dean groaned as he got to his feet and followed after Cas. He pulled his own boxers and fleece pajama pants on before sitting next to his fiancé.

 “Which one?” He asked, referring to whether or not Cas wanted to be the big spoon or little spoon. “Little.” Was Cas’ simple reply. He scooted forward on the couch so Dean could lie down behind him. Some show called _Doctor Who_ was playing on the TV. Cas was watching with squinted, interested eyes, him having never seen such a show before. “Why is this not in America?” He asked with a sigh.

“’Cause it’s lame.” Dean replied, his nose buried in Cas’ hair and his eyes closed. He was only teasing, because he hadn’t been paying attention to the show. “Maybe looking before judging would help your opinion.” He said with a small little grin before consuming himself back into the show. “Are you falling asleep?” Cas asked soothingly, making sure not to wake him if he was. So he stood and turned off the TV for him.

Dean waved Cas off groggily. “It’s fine, Cas. I sleep with the TV turned on all the time.” He slurred sleepily with a pout line between his brows. He wrapped and arm around his fiancé and pulled him back to be the little spoon again. Cas shook his head. “Don’t wanna have you waking up ‘cause the TV was still on.” He gave a warm little smile before turning and kissing Dean’s cheek.

On his way back to being pulled onto the couch, he had grabbed a book that was on the coffee table before. “ _In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit.”_ He began, reading him to sleep just because he knew Dean loved it. Dean made a [manly] purring sound and snuffled up so he could feel the steady vibration of Cas’ voice in his ear. He always read _The Hobbit_ for Dean to fall asleep, but he wasn’t complaining. It was his favorite book; even more so since Cas had started reading it to him.

“ _Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, not yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or eat. It was a hobbit hole, and that means comfort.”_ He confined, reading just soft enough to be audible, yet not a whisper.

 _“This is our hobbit hole.”_ Dean thought just as he slipped into a light slumber. As usual, he was aware of Cas reading, but couldn’t form the words in his head or put two and two together to remember what was going on. He always fell into a deeper sleep once Cas finished. “ _It had a perfectly round door, like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow knob in the exact middle.”_ He stopped there, realizing that Dean had fallen asleep by feeling his soft snoring against his hair.

“I love you.” He whispered, closing his own eyes as well.

He could have sworn that Dean had murmured “ _endlessly”_ in his sleep.


	14. Bundles Of Pure Evil

**A week after they had gone to the university for the first time,** Cas was sitting on been sat on their balcony in one of the two chairs next to Dean and lifted his head.

 **“I want a cat.”** Was what he said abruptly, completely out of nowhere.

Dean looked up from a job application he was filling out. He had been chewing on the end of the pen, so he looked like a teenager again, which made Cas smile.

“Why a cat? They’re big bundles of pure evil. They make me sneeze.” Dean teased, but paused and nodded.

“No, they’re big bundles of fur and cuteness.” He said with a smile, slapping Dean’s chest playfully. “Besides, I’ve never had a pet. Well.. not true, I had a goldfish that died two days after I bought it. I think his name was Mr. Hamelfish.” He chuckled, but was completely serious.

“Alright, we can get a kitten that’s already been trained for a litter box.

“Do you want to get it now?” Dean asked, holding the hand he was slapping with in his own and gave it a tickling kiss.

“Yes.” Cas said plainly, intertwining their fingers and resting them in between the two chairs. He knew that a cat would be a big responsibility and he’d have to take care of it, but he felt like a cat would be fun to have around the house.

With a sigh, Dean stood and dragged Cas along into the apartment. He pulled his shoes on and an over shirt, then stuffed his wallet into his back pocket. Cas pulled on some jeans and a white shirt, then took Dean’s hand.

“Alright, Cas. Let’s go get you a cat.” Dean said with a peck on his fiancé’s lips. They walked out the door, and once in the parking lot of their apartment building, they got into their car and drove off to the nearest pet store.

Dean walked in and paused.

“You go pick out the one you want.” He said, making a weird face.

_He really had to sneeze._

Cas smiled, looking around slowly. He decided that get a girl cat would be the best choice or else there’d be too much testosterone in the family. It was so hard to choose.

Dean shuffled about at the front of the store, looking at some of the puppies for sale in the glass boxes without a top. One golden retriever was yapping up a storm.

Cas decided that the little off white kitten wouldn’t be the best choice – although it was adorable – it was the same color as their carpets, and he’d probably end up accidentally stepping on it, or its tail. So after another minute or so of looked, he finally chose probably the most fluffy of the kittens. It was brown and black, mixed with some gold, and its eyes were a pale blue.

“Dean, I like this one.”

Dean turned around with wide eyes.

In his arms were five puppies.

“I.. I don’t know what happened..” He said with a bit of fear in his voice. He carefully set all of them back in the boxes and approached Cas and the kitten. “Okay, let’s get it.” Before they paid, Cas bought cat food, a litter box, and some little toys, as well as a cage to carry the girl kitten out and into the car. Dean paid and let Cas translate for him, then they walked out the door.

“We need to name her.” Cas said with a smile, poking at the kitten through the cage as Dean drove.

Dean glanced over at the two.

“How does Ebony sound?” Dean asked. “Ebony..” Cas tested it, the name falling naturally off his lips. “I like it.” He smiled out of the corner of his mouth, poking his finger through the cage, their kitten gnawing playfully at his finger.  “You like that, Ebony?” The kitten gave a purr in reply.

Dean was saddened seeing Cas with the tiny cat. Cas would’ve been perfect with a baby. But he wouldn’t be able to have one because of Dean.

Dean drove in silence and parked by their apartment building. He swiftly got out to help Cas and the kitten get out, too. When they set out the food and water bowls and placed the food in the fridge, Cas sat down and took Ebony out of her cage and held her in his hand, tickling her soft underside and laughing. She was about two or three months old, and so, so, so adorable.

“This is your home now, Ebony.” He said happily, the kitten purring as he did so. Dean went to the kitchen and started to make their dinner. Even as he made the chicken tenders and pasta, he was still caught up in the thoughts of Cas and babies and how he took any possibilities in that category away from Cas.

Cas couldn’t help but notice Dean’s sad look that he was sporting all throughout dinner. “Are you alright, Dean?” He asked, setting his finger down and trying to catch his gaze from across the table. Dean looked up and paused his eating. “Yeah, Cas. I’m good.” He put his mouth around the pasta twirled around his fork, and turned his head slightly to listen to the soft tinkling of Ebony’s toy.

Cas sighed.

“Okay.” He went back to eating in silence.

When they finished, he took Dean’s plate and washed them then put them in the dishwasher once all rinsed off. “C’mere.” He said, taking Dean into the bedroom and picking up Ebony after walking through the door.  Dean followed Cas with a curious look, then smiled gently at the bundle of fur. “I want you to hold her.” He said with a warm smile.

Dean wasn’t sure how to hold her, so he just cupped his hands in front of Cas with a focused yet confused look.

Cas placed the kitten into his hands, guiding him along on how to hold her. “Yeah. Like that.” He said once his fiancé got it right. “She’s ours, Dean.” He watched him hold her and couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. Dean used his thumb to stroke her back, but then she started to move. She dug her claws into his shirt and partially into his skin and started to try and climb up onto his shoulder. His eyes widened, and he kept a hand beneath her in case she fell as he tried to gently pull her off his chest.

Cas chuckled, coming closer to Dean and placing his hands under Ebony, too. “Do you wanna keep holding her?” Cas asked, watching with a smile. She had already gotten her shots before they bought her, so they didn’t have to worry about much at the moment. “Umm, I feel like she’s gonna fall or something and then I’ll feel guilty. So you take her. I don’t want to crush her.” Dean said with a worried look at the kitten that was trying to climb into his hair.

Cas chuckled, taking Ebony out of his hands. He sat down on their bed, lying back and holding the kitten above his head. Soon, he was praising the little multicolored cat and making funny faces at her.

Dean shuffled to his side of the bed and took his pants and shirt off so he was in just boxers. He climbed under the covers and laid down on his side, watching his fiancé play with their new family member with a tender look on his face. Cas stopped and did the same with his pants and shirt, shifting so he was lying next to Dean. Abruptly, he placed Ebony on Dean’s chest above the covers, watching he climb all over him.

“She likes you.” He whispered into Dean’s ear with a warm smile.

“Looks like you’ve got yourself some competition.” Dean quietly chuckled in reply. He stroked Ebony as much as he could, but it was a little hard when she kept tumbling about. But she eventually curled up in between the two and settled down. Cas chuckled at that, smiling as he watched the kitten stumble around on top of Dean.

 Luckily, Ebony was one of those cats that didn’t shed much, so they wouldn’t wake up with lots of fur on them. And because she wasn’t much of a shedder, Dean didn’t have to deal with sneezing much. Of course, he still sneezed on occasion, but not as much as he originally thought. He liked having the extra warmth and seeing Cas smile even more, so he curled his neck around the kitten and kissed his fiancé softly.

Cas kissed him back, smiling through the kiss, and when he pulled away, Ebony had fallen asleep, purring softly.

“Endlessly, Dean.” Cas whispered, hoping he hadn’t woken up the kitten that was between them.

“I love you, too.” Dean whispered back, then wiggled a bit to get comfortable. He shut his eyes and put a protective arm around the little, furry kitten. He didn’t want to accidentally squish her in his sleep. Cas thought it was nice to have something other than a ring to bind them together. This kitten was going to last a while and was going to be a part of their lives for some time and they both knew it.

 

**A couple weeks had gone by, and Cas was home from school the day before.**

As Dean thought back on the day they went to get Cas’ schedule, he remembered something very import. To him, at least. They had been too tired from touring the lands of the college, so they had gone to bed right when they had gotten home.

“Cas..” He called as he walked out of their room, holding something behind his back.   
“Yes, Dean?” Cas asked, putting his book and pencil down. He had no idea what on earth what Dean was asking of him. His mind was too cluttered on some Roman history assignment he was reading up on.

Dean grinned evilly as he grabbed Cas and tossed him over his should and carried him into their bedroom. Once Cas was set on the bed, Dean held up the ties and a pair of panties.

“Strip.” He commanded.

“Jesus, Dean.” Cas groaned, eyes lustful as he pulled off his pants, shirt, and boxers. He had to get off of the bed to take them off, so he stood there, waiting for Dean to tell him what to do next.

Ebony was off in the living room somewhere, so they didn’t have to worry about her much.

Dean knelt in front of Cas, pecked his shaft, and guided Cas’ legs into the holes of the panties one at a time. Once he stood back up, he looked Cas over appreciatively, then shoved him lightly until he was sitting on the bed again. “On your knees, hands behind your back. Cas obeyed, sitting on the bed on his knees, hands behind his back, just like his fiancé had told him to do.

It was crazy how a promise from two months ago could suddenly reappear at full power all of the sudden. But Cas didn’t have anything so say about that, just because he was loving it a little too much.

Dean used the red tie to bind Cas’ left wrist to his right ankle, vice versa with his right wrist and left ankle with a blue tie. He had to kneel in front of Cas, their chests touching, and he had tied his fiancé up with soft, graceful fingers.

“This is for making me come on that train, and sassing me about the training.” He purred.

Cas’s eyes widened, full with lust and want.

“You gonna fuck me till I got bruises? Just like that time when I slept with your dick up my ass? Hm?” He asked, words in a teasing manner, wanton eyes following Dean’s gaze.

Dean shook his head with a smirk, looking back up to Cas’ eyes.

“Nope. I’m gonna bring you so close to coming, and then leave you here, all tied up and pretty. And then do it again, and again, and again..” He repeated between kisses along Cas’ neck. He started to softly palm Cas through the frilly underwear. Cas gave a pleasured moan at that. He was more tied up than he’d been before – he’d only ever had his hands tied, not his legs, too.

“You’re insane, you know that?” Cas said with a slight grin,once Dean leant away from him.

Dean gave Cas’ ass a quick pat.

“You shouldn’t say that to the person who’s got you tied up.” Dean chuckled, but had a warm smile on his lips. He trailed his pointer finger up Castiel’s length slowly. “What should I do first..?” He thought aloud. Cas gave another pleasured gasp as Dean touched him as if it were nothing.

“Anything..” Said the blue-eyed man.

Clearly, it was a _very good and helpful_ suggestion. He had groaned in impatience, wanting to rip off his panties and fuck himself on Dean, but obviously he couldn’t exactly do that at the moment.

Dean kept up his touching of Cas as he kept thinking. Eventually, he stopped and used that finger to hook the waistband of his panties and pull it down to free Cas’ hardening cock. At first, he gave the head a few soft tugs, then pushed Cas carefully so he had his back to the headboard for Dean to kneel in front of him. He slowly took Cas into his mouth and ever so slowly pushed down further.

“Dean..” He moaned, wanting more but he wouldn’t get any. He groaned, wanting to buck his hips, but once again, couldn’t.

When Cas started getting fidgety, Dean pulled away with wet noises. He pulled the panties back up and kissed his way up from Cas’ abdomen to his sternum. He kept kissing and sucking at Cas’ neck as he asked, “You gonna come yet?”

“N-No..” Castiel said in reply, groaning, eyes closed in pleasure. He was generally close to coming, but he wouldn’t say that. So he just continued to be Dean’s toy for now, and couldn’t love it more.

Dean hummed against Cas’ skin. “Are you lying?” He asked with amusement. He even snaked his hand into the panties and tugged at Cas’ now wet dick.

“I won’t let you come today if you lie.”

Cas sighed. “No, I’m not lying..” He moaned breathily as Dean worked him. After another minute or so of Dean stroking him, he starting to talk, “I’m coming, Dean..”

Dean pulled away and sat calmly on the bed in front of Cas. Seeing him on the verge of coming, but not being able to go just far enough, was very arousing for Dean. He’d only be able to last one more time before he set Cas free to whatever he wanted with Dean. And it was very obvious on his face.

“Dean, you fucker.” Cas groaned. Dean had pulled off at the perfect time, too, because one more second of the agonizingly slow hand job he was getting would have set him off. Dean gave Cas his best cheeky, crooked grin as he waited for him to cool off. “Got quite a mouth on you.” Dean commented with a smug look, resting his elbow on his crossed legs. He itched to touch Cas some more, but that would ruin all the fun.

Cas huffed, wanting – no, needing – more. In an effort to calm himself down, he shut his eyes and slowly breathed in and out, which barely helped, but it was worth a shot. “I love and hate you right now, Dean Winchester.” He sighed.

“That hurts my feelings. I’ll just have to make you love me some more.” Dean said with a mock sad look on his face.

He watched Cas’ erection slowly dissipate before he leaned forward and kissed him hotly. Cas kissed him back, though he felt like he shouldn’t, but still did because he _just really needed_ to feel Dean against his lips. He groaned as the pleasure was making his cock stand up go away, but he knew he’d get hard again soon.

Dean decided to get Cas had just from kissing his mouth. So, he dragged Cas onto his lap, and placed a hand onto his ass to help support his weight. When he got hard again, Dean stopped and just smiled at Cas with hooded eyes as he slowly put Cas back down onto the mattress.

“Dean..” He said in impatience. “Just fuck me already.” He added breathily and longingly. “Please..” He said up the green-eyed man with a long, exasperated sigh.

Dean didn’t reply.

He just waited until Cas was soft again, then untied him with one swift pull of the ties. He sat back with a smug smirk. “It’s open season for Dean Winchesters.” He explained.

Cas growled, pushing Dean back onto the bed in anger and lust. He pulled off Dean’s pants in a needy demeanor, taking the precum that was on his and Dean’s dick ass slight lubrication. Yet without any preparation, he sat himself down on Dean’s cock, hissing at the feeling.

Dean’s eyes had widened when he was pushed back. When Cas practically ripped his pants off and sank down on his dick, Dean smirked again and set his hands on Cas’ hips to help him rise and fall on top of him.

Eventually, the burn subsided and he quickened his pace, riding his fiancé hard and fast. He moaned long and hard, in desperate need of release. “Dean..” He finally said after a minute or so, already on the verge of coming.

Dean had his smirk on his face the whole time. If Cas came before Dean, he’d just ask for a hand job or just go jack off in the shower later. So, he fisted Cas’ dick and gave it a slight squeeze before loosening it for Cas to thrust into it. Cas have a hearty moan, feeling Dean start to swell up inside of him.

“Ungh.. Dean..come for me..” He said, riding him at a very quick and rough pace. He held out for him, making sure he came first, even though he’d been holding off for a good fifteen minutes now. Dean beamed up at Cas. “I don’t really think you’re in any position to tell me what to do.” He chuckled. Despite him laying down, he was still technically being the boss of the situation. He could just pick up Cas off of him if he wanted.

Cas groaned, not wanting to do what he was about to do, but still did it. He got off of Dean – on purpose – and grabbed the red tie, tying his fiancé to the headboard. He placed himself back down onto Dean, lips parting as he was entered once again.

“Fucking come for me.” He ordered, eyes closed in pleasure as he began to ride him once again.

Dean was shocked at Cas’ loophole.

“Yes, sir.” He chuckled huskily. He strained his arms against the tie, tossing his head back and thrusting with more force into Cas. After a few moments of this, he finally came into him, growling out Cas’ name.

Cas moans got louder as he too came, basically screaming out his fiancé’s name whilst doing so. His liquids squirted all over his and Dean’s chest.

“Jesus fucking Christ that felt good..” He said, slowing down his hip movements to a grudgingly slow pace so he could ride out his orgasm.

“I overhead someone at work say rejection of an orgasm led to the most intense ones.” Dean replied, panting, with a wink. “Would you want to do that again? I won’t if you don’t want to.” Cas nodded, eyes lustful.

“Only if I’m bottom again.”

Still riding him, he leant down and kissed his fiancé hotly on the lips, having yet to untie his wrists. Dean had smirked at first, but then Cas didn’t untie him. He growled against his fiancé’s lips and strained at the tie once again. “Cas, I will break this tie if you don’t take it off.” He threatened. It was the red tie, which he’d bought at a garage sale, so he didn’t care about it like he cared about the blue tie.

“Nuh uh.” Castiel protested, getting off Dean’s cock and sitting in between his legs. His hand traveled up to play with Dean’s dick, playing with his balls before actually beginning to stroke him. “You said you wanted another round, didn’t you?” He just found another loophole.

Dean whimpered at Cas’ touches.

“Cas..” He graveled out, writing under his lover’s hand. He let his head fall back as the pleasure slowly started to grow again. Castiel bit down on his lip as he worked his fiancé. His free hand moved up to play with his balls, his mouth trailing kisses up his torso until it reached his nipple, latching onto the sensitive skin. His hands were moving agonizingly slow, as well as his mouth and tongue, but it was still extremely pleasurable.

For what felt like the millionth time, Dean wished that men could have multiple orgasms consecutively.

“Jesus, Cas, I’m gonna have a heart attack because of you.” He moaned out.

Cas smirked against Dean’s nipple, his lips moving back down his chest to find his dick. He went down on him slowly, continuing what he was doing except speeded up a bit so he could get him.. close.. to his orgasm.

Dean was practically growling as he grey very close.

“Cas, I’m about to – I’m gonna – “ He said forcefully. His neck muscles tightening up with the rest of his muscles. He could hear the fabric straining against the headboard.

Cas suddenly popped his mouth off his cock, the movements that had been on his cock and balls ceasing. He sat back, legs crossed.

“I-I’m sorry, you were gonna what?”

Dean lifted his head to glare at Cas. “You son of a bitch.” He growled painfully, then looked up at the tie. It was a flimsy old thing – he could break it easily, but his wrists would still pay the price. Not caring, he started to pull at it. “If you dare tear yourself out of that tie, I won’t let you come for a week.” Castiel threatened, raising his head proudly. He wasn’t lying, either, and his voice was stern.

Dean chuckled. “I can just take a shower, Cas. Will you be able to hold yourself back that long, though?” He asked, still working at the tie, but with less strength. “I can shower with you.” He said simply. “And I can always use my fingers.” He added. “Now stop trying to get out of that tie.” He continued to order. Dean lifted his head and glared at Cas again, but let his arms go lax. He stretched them out by grabbing onto the headboard, and sighed impatiently. He remained quiet though while he waited for Cas to start up again.

“One more minute.”

Dean was grumbling to himself. It was mostly curses towards Cas’ stupid blue eyes and stupid hands and stupid mouth of an angel. He gave a little tug at the tie again. Cas smiled and then, finally, he was riding him again, his hands on his fiancé’s waistline to steady himself. He moaned, closing his eyes, lips parted.

While Cas was distracted, Dean gave one final pull and the tie snapped.

He sat up – keeping Cas in place – and wrapped his arms loosely around his lover. He nuzzled Cas’ neck with his face and started to place hot kisses onto it. Cas moaned, growling a little when Dean had broken out of the tie. He didn’t stop him though.

“Dean..” He cried, taking his arms and wrapped them around Dean’s body, one against his neck in a fist, the other kneaded into his blonde hair. In the meantime, Dean nipped and sucked at Cas’ skin, moving to the other side of his neck. “I’ve been bad, Cas. I broke the tie.” He murmured with a little smile. “I’ll get you ba-“ He paused and moaned, throwing his head back in pleasure and letting out a moaned. “-ck later.” He finished frantically. A breath hitched in his throat with every desperate thrust, every moan full of want for release.

“I don’t really think you will.” Dean replied smoothly, despite having a spike of pleasure shoot through his body with every slide of his dick up Cas’ ass.

Cas began to let out loud moans as Dean started to hit his prostate with every thrust. Cas had shoved his face into Dean’s neck at that, moaning into it with every buck of his hips. Dean trailed a hand between their stomachs and started to fist Cas’ cock. “C’mon, Cas..” He breathed with another quick bite.

Soon, Cas was coming all over his and Dean’s stomach, his moan louder than ever. “Fuck, Dean..” He gasped breathily. “Love you so much..” He took his head out of Dean’s neck and stared into his eyes, one hand digging into his hair and gripping tight, but not too tight to hurt. His other hand began to move down their stomachs and began to stroke Dean until he came.

Dean licked up the cum with his hand, and when he got close, he let his head stay up from just Cas’ grip in his hair. “Fuck, Cas.. Endlessly, baby..” He panted with eyes squeezed shut. He came hard into his fiancé and stilled, letting it shoot farther into him.

“Fuck, Dean..” Castiel groaned as he felt Dean’s cum settle in his ass. He rolled his hips along Dean’s cock sexily.

Dean lifted his hands slowly and started to untie the remnants of the tie. “It was worth the casualty.” He murmured. “You served us well.” He told it with a tired little smile. Cas chuckled softly against Dean’s neck. “We should go feed Ebony..” He said softly. They’d been going at it for what must had to be forty five minutes and she had to be hungry by now.

Dean made a whiny noise and grabbed Cas. He rolled over so Cas was trapped beneath him. “But this is so nice and comfy.” Dean pointed out and snuggled up. Cas laughed, staring at Dean with wide eyes. “I can agree with you there.” He smirked, leaning up and kissing him softly.

It was so strange how things could change from fast and rough to slow and happy in an instant. Cas liked it that way.

Dean kissed him back, but Ebony was started to mewl. With a groan, Dean gently slid out of Cas and got up to pull his boxers back on. He padded out to the living room and started chatting with Ebony as he mixed wet cat food and warm milk. Cas smiled as his lover slid out of the bed, his hand slipped out of Dean’s  as his fiancé slowly moved out of the room.

In a couple of minutes, Cas was walking up behind Dean in boxers, finding him playing happily with Ebony in the living room.

Dean was sitting on the floor, his back to their room. He didn’t hear Cas approach, so he kept talking to Ebony in a low voice. “You get those fingers, you furry beast. Even though you poop and throw up everywhere then eat more than I do.” He said in his baby voice, like Ebony understood everything he had said.

Cas slowly sat down behind Dean, crossing his legs and wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck from behind. “Hello, Dean.” He said with a smile, resting his chin on his shoulder as he watched their kitten bite his fingers and trample about. He had almost laughed when he heard Dean talking in a baby voice, because it was a voice he’d never heard before in the three years he’d been with Dean.

Dean winced in embarrassment when he realized Cas had been listening in. He turned his blushing face to smile awkwardly at his fiancé. “Hey..” He laughed nervously, and got his fingers slashed a bit from loving away from the kitten.

Castiel laughed against Dean’s neck.

Ebony had drawn a little blood, but it was just a couple small little pricks. Not enough to do too much damage. “We are engaged. You shouldn’t be embarrassed around me.” He teased, reaching around Dean and taking Ebony into his hands. “I’m not embarrassed!” Dean defended. “I just didn’t expect you to come up behind me s’all.” He wiped the blood off his finger then licked it off.

“If I was embarrassed, then I wouldn’t be naked around you at least once a day.” Dean stated proudly. Cas chuckled, coming around him and sitting in front of him. He had placed Ebony into his lap, the kitten desperately trying to climb out of his legs, looking absolutely adorable while doing so. Cas looked down at Ebony and laughed, stroking her fur slowly which made her purr and quit her try for an escape.

Dean leaned forward and placed smothering kisses along Cas’ temple, forehead, cheek, and nose.

“And I know you can hardly keep yourself from jumping me when I am.” He pointed out with a smug, crooked grin.

Cas smiled as his face was smothered in kisses, Ebony purring softly in his lap. He picked her up and held her in front of his face, talking to her, lips spread into a smile. “You’re so cute. Best kitten in the world, I’m gonna smother you with food and toys and everything you’ll ever want. Best lil kitty ever.” Cas said in his own baby voice, not caring if Dean was sitting right in front of him. He had even glanced up to him a few times while he spoke to their pet.

Dean pouted at the two. “Cas, you’re making me jealous of a damn kitten.” He sighed, leaning back on his palms as he watched them with amused eyes. Cas laughed, placing Ebony in between them on the carpet and watched her run off and try to climb onto things. She fell a few times, but she was just trying to get onto Cas’ books, so she didn’t hurt herself at all.

“Well, excuse me for thinking our kitten is cuter than you.” Dean gasped. “Cuter than me? A kitten?” He gave Cas a fake hurt look and got to his feet. “I don’t even know you anymore.” He said sadly – though he was smiling –, shaking his head and walking into their bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Cas picked up Ebony and ran into their bedroom, the kitten meowing at the sudden change of speed. When Cas opened the door, he jumped onto the bed and carefully placed Ebony onto Dean’s face.

“Hah.” He laughed proudly, Ebony’s not-too-sharp claws digging into Dean’s face. They weren’t sharp enough to draw blood or make scratches.

Dean batted at Cas’ hands. “Stop that!” He cried, moving her away from him and rolling over onto his stomach, burying his face into Cas’ pillow. “If you like that cat so much, go marry it and give my ring back.” He fake sniffled, his voice muffled.

Cas chuckled softly, placing Ebony carefully on the bed. He rolled over so he was fully on top of Dean, which made the man’s breath hitch in his throat from all the weight. Cas’ knees were on either side of Dean’s body, his face buried in his neck.

“Never ever gonna take off this ring.” Cas whispered into his ear softly.

“Never ever gonna stop loving you.” He continued, beginning to nibble playfully on his ear.

Dean grumbled something incoherently and moved his head away from Cas’ nibbling mouth. He let out another huff and pulled the pillow closer. Castiel gave another soft chuckle into Dean’s ear, which sent chills down Dean’s neck.

“Come on. Say you love me, too.”

“Why do I gotta say it when it’s so obvious?” Dean sighed, finally lifting his head to look at Cas with a warm look in his eyes.

He was practically in love with him the first day that they met, and he could have sworn Cas had been reading his mind because the next thing he said was, “You remember when we first met?” with a little sigh. “I was so shy around you and look where we are now.” He actually took a moment to look around. They weren’t just some couple at all. They had gone beyond that, past love. They loved each other so much that probably, they’d have to redefine the word.

A smile lightened Dean’s face.

He leaned his head back and kissed Cas tenderly on the cheek. “Of course I remember. That’s the maddest I’ve ever felt.” He chuckled back.

“I remember looking at you and thinking that you had sex hair.” He said softly into his ear. “And I remember that day at the theater when we kissed for the first time and it felt so perfect.” Dean made a hum in agreement. “And then we did it in the meadow.” He added with a little smirk. “Couldn’t keep our hands off each other since.” He let out an amused laugh at that.

Cas laughed too, taking the hand that wasn’t keeping most of his weight off Dean and taking Dean’s hand into his, fingers intertwining.

“I can barely remember my life before that day. It’s all so blank.” He mused, trying to think back but everything was too vague or lost in the depths of good and bad memories that made up his extraordinary life.


	15. Go

**It was a day after Cas had said he would be home.**

He had said he needed to study, but he never said he wouldn’t be home for three days.

Cas had missed their anniversary.

He had said he’d be home for it.

He had promised Dean.

So now, Dean was completely smashed and laying on the floor in the living room in self pity.

One thought led to another, and he realized he couldn’t be with Cas anymore. All he would do was bring Cas down. Cas obviously wanted babies, and Dean didn’t want to stop him from achieving that.

So, Cas finally got home an hour after Dean had gotten drunk.

“Dean? You home? I’m so sorry about not comin’ home when I said I would, and..” He started, setting his trench coat on the coat rack as he walked in.

Ebony had gotten much bigger. She was a year and three months old now.

Dean only groaned in reply. He didn’t want to break up with Cas, but he had to. For Cas.

He had tears in his eyes as he slowly and wobbly got to his feet to give Cas the news.

“Dean? Are you alright?” Castiel asked, slowly walking down the hallway and into the bedroom. He opened the door to see his fiancé with tears in his eyes, a stumble in his walk. “Dean.. what happened?” “What d’ya think happened, Cas?” Dean chuckled humorlessly. “I got drunk. And I realized.. we gotta break up. I can’t provide everything you want and it makes me feel.. not good enough..” He slurred sadly.

“Dean..” Cas started, walking over to him and holding him by the shoulders. “I would never. Never. Think that.” He put emphasis into each word. And he was completely serious. “You have been more than good to me, Dean. Look where we are. We are in Paris and we traveled the world together. That is more than enough.” Castiel was tearing up now. He hadn’t seen Dean this drunk since two February’s ago, and that did not end well.

Dean quickly shook his head.

“No, Cas, I can tell you’ll want kids, but you can’t have them with me. We can’t adopt..” He said as he weakly pushed Cas away. “It’s better this way.. go find a girl that can make a baby with you.” He sniffled.

“Dean, if you _ever_ think I would leave you, you’re wrong. We are three weeks before our wedding and.. and you’re saying I should leave you and go make babies with some chick that I could never completely love!” He was angry now. “You have that ring, right? Endlessly? Well you sure as hell aren’t thinking that right now.” He stepped away from Dean, no longer balancing him making Dean fall forward onto a knee, placing a hand on the ground to steady himself.

“I will always love you, Cas. That’s why I want you to go and get what you want.” Dean said quietly, each word Cas threw at him a stab in his heart.

Cas got down to his knees in front of him, not touching him. Not holding him.

“Then you’ll leave me.. and.. you know what I’d do, Dean.. You know that I would..” He didn’t want to continue. He would say he would kill himself. He would say he’d kill himself because Dean was his only anchor in this world, and he wasn’t prepared to lose that, so now the tears were coming down his face, falling freely off his chin.

Dean wiped some of the tears off Cas’ cheeks. “I want you to be happy, Cas. Could you please do that for me?” He said softly. He wasn’t slurring anymore, but his voice was slow at forming words and had a new depth to it.

“You’re the only thing in this world that makes me happy, Dean. Don’t you get that?” He was crying even harder now, his lip quivering with each word, his entire body trembling. “I can’t live without you.. I can’t.. I just.. no, I can’t.”

“Cas, you gotta try. Don’t make me say something to get you to leave..” Dean begged back. He leaned away from Cas so he was sitting on his rear, hunching over his lap slightly to stay upright. “But you.. you’re mine and I don’t wanna let you go.. Never.”

Cas stood.

He was about to break something.

“I don’t want to live a life without you. It would be so meaningless.” Each word cracked with emotion.

“Just try, Cas. Try to love someone else. Make some babies with them. And.. And if you haven’t in five years, you can come back. We’ll act like nothing happened..” Dean suggested, looking up at Cas with tear filled eyes.

“But something did happen, and.. we’ll both know that..” He looked around, clenching and unclenching his fists to hold him back from breaking something. “I can’t live more than two weeks without you and you’re saying to try for five years? What are you thinking!?” And that’s when he broke.

There was a pile of papers on a desk he threw off.

Papers flew everywhere.

He might throw the desk, too.

He didn’t know just how angry he was yet.

Dean watched the papers fly with a sad look. “Cas..” He sighed, using the back of his hand to wipe off his own tears from his face. “Don’t make this harder. We just can’t.. just go, Cas. You’ve gotten so far in life, and you don’t need me anymore anyways.”

“Yes, I do, don’t you get that!? I’ve needed you since the first day we met! I would’ve gotten beaten bloody if you didn’t step in when you had. And my dad would’ve killed me, and..” He went on and on about things that would have ended bloody if Dean weren’t there. “And if we break up still loving each other.. I don’t understand how we could even..” Dean shook his head and looked away. “You needed me then. Not now. You’re in college, for cryin’ out loud. In Oxford, even. You don’t need me now, Cas, so just.. just get your stuff and go.” He sighed.

And then Cas was screaming and the desk had been thrown and the typewriter broke and the records that had been sat on top shattering on the floor, one of them being their song. _Have I Told You Lately That I Love You._

He fell to his knees, crying as hard as he possibly could, face in his hands. “But.. you’re my everything..” Were the only barely audible words that fell from his lips.

Dean still didn’t flinch at Cas’ tantrum.

“I’ll get your things, then..” He murmured as he attempted to stand. He got to his feet after a few failed rocks forward, then pulled a suitcase they had brought and set it on the bed. He started to carefully pull any of Cas’ clothes from the closet and set them in it.

Castiel just couldn’t stop the tears.

They just kept coming down and down and he was almost hyperventilating. “Why are you doing this, Dean? Don’t you see that I can’t be happy without you? Don’t you see me.. crying.. in front of you because you’re leaving me?” He trembled. He was far from looking attractive considering his eyes were red, his cheeks were flushed, and his lips was quivering and he looked so, so genuinely sad and angry and **heartbroken.**

Dean paused in his packing.

“I’m not leaving you. It’s just a.. break. And once you love someone else, you’ll be leaving me, and everything will be fine.” He replied, then packed some of Cas’ shirts. He even packed four of his own shirts that Cas loved to wear, too.

“No, it won’t, and we both know that..” He cried, standing up with all the strength he had, which was very little. He took the bag once he finished packing for him and stared at him.

He wanted to kiss him, but he didn’t.

“Bye.” He said finally, abruptly, and then left the house with a slam of the door.

He didn’t say he loved him.

He didn’t kiss him goodbye.

He didn’t hold him and tell him it’d be alright.

He didn’t hug him.

He just                                           left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now Playing: Mess Is Mine by Vance Joy


	16. Five

_Wind in the East_   
_Mist coming in_   
_Like something is brewing_   
_About to begin_   
_Can’t put my finger_   
_On what lies in store_   
_but I feel what’s to happen_   
_all happened_   
_before_

_**  
** _

****

****

**Dean had sobered up later that day and suffered from a hangover the next day.**

The apartment felt so empty and quiet without Cas there, studying or playing with Ebony.

He had left Ebony, too.

Dean watched over her like she was Cas himself for the next **five years.**

He’d also sent a check for the money that was supposed to be for their **wedding** to Cas.

Dean had a well paying job at a popular café a few miles away. He could still everything he wanted, but he was **lonely.**

Cas had found an apartment on the other side of Paris.

Everything was so **different** and **meaningless** and **empty** without Dean.

He had tried to **kill himself** three times but never succeeded.

He wanted to play with Ebony.

He imagined Dean beside him with every waking hour, but it never made up for how sad he felt on a day to day basis.

He didn’t find anyone good to date within the five years **without** Dean.

He had sold some books and poems, giving the occasional lecture at smaller colleges as a living.

I mean, he hooked up with some random girl every now and then, but never got into a serious relationship. His heart continued to lie with Dean’s.

A month before the five years were up, a girl named Anna started to drink coffee in the café Dean worked at. He noticed he watching every move he made as he helped prepare drinks with his coworkers. It made him uncomfortable.

And then a **week before** he would go find Cas, she finally approached Dean. He politely refused her offer of a date, but she kept coming after him each day. He was literally about to leave to go **find Cas** when she tried to kiss him.

He had actually shoved her.

Then drove off in his baby – which he had shipped there a few years ago – and sped to the train station.

That was when someone T-boned him.

Cas heard about the crash. It was 1976.

“Oh my god.” He didn’t skip a beat to grab his coat and drive as quickly as possible to the hospital because he knew the five years were up so this was his chance.

It didn’t seem like Cas had aged.

He was 25 now. The years that past between not seeing Dean were grueling, and there were bags under his eyes, and the fact that he was there, now, in front of him, almost made him cry. “Dean..” He said as he walking in the door of the hospital room and pulled a chair over to the side of his hospital bed.

A doctor had told Cas that Dean was just unconscious from the surgery that reset a few of his ribs. Although he did hit his head, but it wasn’t nothing major. Just a few minutes of being knocked out. And just fifteen minutes after Cas walked in, Dean opened his eyes and stared at the man in front of him.

**“Who’re you?”**

Cas squinted his eyes, tilting his head in confusion and curiosity. “It’s me.. it’s Cas.. remember?” He asked, reaching his hand up to take into his. Dean quickly pulled his hand away with a confused, angry look. “I don’t know any Cas.” He stated, pointedly looking away from the new stranger. He didn’t understand why he was in a hospital. He had just been at work. “What happened to me?” He asked quietly.

Cas scooted back into his seat, keeping himself together as best he could.

“You were in a car crash.” He said plainly, pulling his feet up and crossing his legs in his seat.

 **“We haven’t seen each other for a while..”** His lips quivered into a half smile, but it faded quickly, and he clenched his teeth.

Dean turned his head to look at him curiously. “We haven’t? It was because of me, wasn’t it? I’m sorry..” He sighed and shook his head at himself. “I’m surprised I didn’t keep someone like you as close as I could.” When Dean realized he said that out loud, which made him freeze, and blush. “And apparently I’m having trouble with filtering my words..” He grumbled.

Cas chuckling, rocking back and forth in his seat. “You wanna play a game or somethin’?” He asked. He no idea what he was doing, but he still tried it. This was his **second chance.** To get him to fall in love with him again.

Dean furrowed his brows.

“Cas, I’m not sure I’m in much shape to play a game, but I will if it’s a board game or something.” He replied. “I just.. I’ve got this feeling I’d do **anything for you.** And I said my thoughts again.” Dean sighed. Cas laughed softly once again, standing up out of his chair. “I’ll go get a game from the kids side of the hospital.” He walked out of the room, flashing a smile before doing so.

Anna had came in after Cas left, tears streaming down her face. “Dean, baby, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” She asked through sobs. Dean made a face at her. “Anna, what the hell are you doing here?” And then Cas was walking in with Monopoly in his hands when Anna said she loved him, and he almost dropped the box, only to tighten his fists around it to steady it.

“Who’s this?” Castiel asked Dean, staring at the woman, eyes squinted at her. He studied her, getting a bad vibe from her whole demeanor.

Dean started fidgeting. He didn’t want Cas to see him with Anna for some reason – which he said aloud again, then smacked his forehead with his palm in frustration. “This is my stalker, Anna. Anna, this is Cas.. uhh, my boyfriend.” He quickly lied.

Cas turned to look at Anna proudly, because now he knew Dean didn’t want her to be there, and so she was crying a lot now because he had said that. “Anna, you’re scaring a man who’s got psychological trauma. I’d advise you to back away.” He paused, coughing, then giving a little grin. “I’m from Oxford.” It made him sound _much_ more professional.  Dean gave Cas a look that was saying _you’re from Oxford? Damn, that’s hot._ But he quickly turned to Anna and nodded.

“Anna, if I see you again, I’m calling the cops. Now get out.” With a sob, Anna turned and out the door. “Look, Cas, I’m sorry about that if you’re not.. y’know..” He said, scratching the back of his neck with a blush. Cas quickly shook his head, placing the Monopoly box carefully on Dean’s lap. “Do you mind if I sit on the edge of the bed?” He asked politely, unboxing the board and pieces, then placing the actual box itself on the chair he had been sitting on.

“Nah, I don’t mind.” Dean said, shifting so he was sitting up for Cas to have enough room. “So, uh, you are..?” He pressed, setting up the game nonchalantly, but there was still hope in his voice. “Yes, I am.. uh..” Cas coughed. “Queer.” He finished, sitting on the edge of the bed and crossing his legs. “I wanna be the car.” He teased, snatching up the little metal piece before Dean could get it.

Dean paled and groaned.

“My car..” He whined with a pout. “I’m gonna have to rebuild it, probably.” He sighed as he took the thimble. “I haven’t played this before, so you’re gonna have to teach me.” Dean said, changing the subject. Cas gave a soft smile and began. “So you start here, and..” He continued on and on about how to play the game, accidentally brushing his hand his hand over Dean’s a couple times. Being able to see him was making him giddy, and he still wanted to kiss him and hold him, but he held back.

Dean really liked having the small touches and being taught by Cas. He had to clamp his mouth shut, too, so he wouldn’t say it out loud. An hour later and Cas was still whooping his ass. The doctor had walked in and brought in his stuff. He pulled out his wallet and looked through it in case he forgot anything else. “Is this you?” Dean asked, holding up a picture of them hugging on top of the Eiffel Tower.

 **“That’s us.”** He said with a warm smile, thinking back to the good days. “I have a couple more.” Cas said, pulling out his own wallet and taking out of them on the Venice Canals, another of Dean sleeping peacefully next to him. He liked catching moments like that, even though it might seem weird to some people. There was another of them playing with Ebony.

Dean was silent as Cas told him about each picture.

“How is she?” He asked after showing the last of the Polaroid pictures.

“Ebony’s gotten a little fat. I think I might be spoiling her too much. All I remember is being lonely so I give her the love that I guess I used to give to you..” Dean replied, then sighed angrily. “We look so happy in these. What did I do?”

Cas’ smile faded.

“Do you want the truth?” He asked calmly, staring at him with those blue eyes like stars. He made sure that this was all up to him. He didn’t want to put him into any serious pressure.

Dean pulled their _endlessly_ ring out and gave a very dead laugh. “Yes and no. I don’t want to hurt again. And I want to at least be your friend. You’re a cool guy, Cas.” He sighed sadly, and put the ring on his right thumb instead.

“You left me because you though you weren’t giving me enough and because you thought you didn’t deserve me and that you couldn’t make me happy enough.” He said plainly, eyes hooded. **“You were wrong, you know.”** He added, looking down into his lap and letting out a shaky sigh. “I never found anyone else.”

Dean reached out and took Cas’ hand without thinking. “I’m sorry. Can.. can we start over? If you still want to, of course..?” He asked timidly. “Something in my head is telling me that you are the **best thing I’ve ever had.** ” Cas looked up and stared into his eyes. He nodded slowly.

The feeling of being able to touch him again was better than anything he’d felt in the five years of lost time.

“Let’s make up for the lost time.”

He laced his fingers through Dean’s.

“And the time that I’ve forgotten.” Dean chuckled, keeping his hand in Cas’. “Let’s get back to this game so I can just lose already.” Cas laughed and scooted closer so the board was on top of their knees.

“Hah.” Castiel said victoriously Dean landed on top of one of the spaces that he owned. “10,000F [French francs] all mine.” He said greedily with a smug look on his face.

Dean huffed and flipped the board over onto the floor, making Cas sigh at him. “I don’t like this game.” Dean grumbled with a little pout. He was always a sore loser and left no evidence of his loss. “Aw, c’mon.” Cas teased, poking Dean’s nose before getting off the bed and picking up the board and pieces.

Cas ended up staying there day and night, sleeping next to his bed, waking up when he needed him, playing games with him when he wanted to.

It was so rejuvenating to be with Dean again.

Cas tried his best to regain Dean’s memories, and Cas had called one of his friends – Balthazar – to look after Ebony due to Dean’s absence. He wasn’t allowed to leave the hospital for about two weeks after the accident, and Dean had started to get his feelings for Cas again, but not like they used to be because he still didn’t remember him.

When the doctor came in with Dean’s clothes and to tell him he could leave tomorrow, Cas looked up and said, “What now?” Dean lifted his arms and let them flop down in defeat. “I have no Idea.. I have to wait until tomorrow to be able to leave. Ebony might like seeing you. Maybe you can get her back into shape since I work all day.” Dean suggested.

“I can go get her and bring her here.” Castiel said calmly, staring at Dean with wide eyes. He seemed so different but so the same since the last time he saw him.

“Do you they allow pets in hospitals?” Dean asked curiously. “’Cause that would be awesome.” Dean smiled up at Cas. “I like your smile.. son of a bitch I did it again..” He gave a weary sigh at his brain and mouth. Cas laughed, showing off the smile that he now knew Dean liked. “I’ll be back in an hour or less.” He stated, poking his nose before leaving the hospital and walking out to his car. Dean made a face at having his nose poked again.

Cas remembered exactly where their apartment was – even after all those five years – so he had no trouble finding it.

When he walked inside, he looked around.

All the lights were off so it was a fairly dim color scheme. Lots of grays. Not much color.

It was a little messy and there we records on the floor, but he didn’t mind it.

He took a second to appreciate the smell of Dean that lingered through the house before walking over and finding Ebony.

“Good lord, you’re _huge_!” He stared at the multicolored cat with wide eyes before giving a very dead laugh to himself. “Come on. We’re going on an adventure.” He grabbed the cage from where he knew Dean would have kept it and carefully put Ebony inside, grabbing a book that he hadn’t read in forever as well to take to the hospital and read.

When Cas left, Dean looked at the pictures again and tried to remember what led up to them, sometimes accidentally voicing them out loud. And then he found one picture.. he looked half asleep, but judging by the sheen of sweat on him, they had just finished having sex. This made him blush like crazy, and he shoved it in the middle of the stack as Cas walked back in. “Jesus, Dean.. you really did fatten her up..” Castiel said as he took the no-longer kitten out of her cage and holding her.

He looked so happy with his cat in his hands. The cat that he hadn’t seen in five years was purring as Cas stroked her back. “She’s, what.. five and a half now?” Castiel asked, sitting down on the bed after closing the door. “Six and a half.” Dean corrected with his own smile, but his cheeks were still red. He wasn’t embarrassed of having his picture taken post sec but his first thought was _I wish I remembered that._ And he had even almost told Cas that by accident.

“I brought a book that might help you jog your memory.” Castiel said with a warm smile, pulling out the book as Ebony sat in Dean’s lap. He held up _The Hobbit_ and turned to the first page where he read calmly and soothingly, glancing up at Dean every now and then to make sure he was listening. And he was. He was listening carefully, wanting desperately to remember everything he had done with Cas. He had a sense of familiarity but nothing came up.

Dean felt himself start to get drowsy. **Something told him that this happened before.**

The next time Cas glanced up at Dean, who at the time, was desperately trying to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t finish the third page by the time Dean had fallen asleep. He set the book down and chuckled softly, seeing that Ebony had fallen asleep, too.

In Dean’s dream, he was younger. About 18. He was walking into a movie theatre. When he turned his head, he saw someone was holding his hand. He turned his head more, and saw it was a younger, more battered and shy, Cas. And then it skipped some – like all dreams do – and he and Cas were kissing.

In the meantime, Cas had been sat in the chair next to Dean’s hospital bed, snoring softly as he slept. And when he woke up the next morning – for the millionth time, it seemed – he had to tell himself it wasn’t a dream and that Dean was actually there. He didn’t say anything about it, though. He just smacked his lips and blinked the sleep away from his eyes.

Dean was still sleeping when he asked for Cas. He reached his hand out with a crease between his brows. After so long of not being near him, Dean’s body craved it’s dosage of Cas next to it.

Cas’ head had shot up at Dean softly called his name. He didn’t know if he should do what he was about to do – again – but did it anyways – again.  He got up and laid down in front of Dean on the bed, snuggling into him. Dean’s arms instinctively wrapped around Cas, even though he was still asleep.

Dean had remembered some bits of their last day together.

It made him disoriented and angry. In his dream, he called after Cas, wanting to apologize, but he was already gone. But when the real Cas laid down beside him, he calmed and relaxed into the touch.

Castiel didn’t fall asleep, though.

He cherished the feeling of being wrapped in his arms. And it felt so perfect because he hadn’t had a single day for five years in which he didn’t imagine this happening. Not exactly in this circumstance or setting at all, but he would imagine Dean cradling him, telling him it was okay, telling him he’d come home, but that never happened, and it almost made Castiel cry, but he didn’t. He could tell Dean was waking up by how much he shifted against him.

Once Dean finally opened his eyes about an hour later, he took a moment to subtly relish in having Castiel in his arms. It just felt so.. right.

After clearing his throat, he sighed. “Sorry, I’m a cuddler. But something tells me you already know that.” Yet Dean didn’t move.

Cas smiled softly. “I’ve known that for the entire time I’ve been with you and beyond.” He chuckled taking Dean’s hand into his. “I can go get you breakfast.” He said, but didn’t want to leave his arms. Dean hummed in thought, keeping his head on Cas’ side. “Not hungry.” He said with finality and closed his eyes again, moving closer to the other man that he barely knew anything about anymore. Cas smiled again. He ground into him lightly to get more comfortable. “I am more than fine with that.” The blue-eyed man stated proudly, brushing his fingertips over the lines of Dean’s hand.

Dean gave a relaxed sigh at the feeling.

He felt like they’ve done this many times before, but he just couldn’t remember. Not remembering the best thing that’s ever happened to him was frustrating as hell, and he didn’t care that he said it out loud. Cas just shook his head and then told him “you’ll remember.” They stayed like that for a bit and then Cas was the first to speak up.

“You healed a lot over night.” His nose unintentionally yet instinctively brushed over Dean’s. “I-I’m sorry.. I’m probably too close..” Cas said, about to shift backwards, but Dean quickly tossed an arm over Cas’ shoulders, keeping his eyes closed with a little smile. “It’s fine, Cas.” He chuckled, and finally cracked his eyes open to look into the blue ones that were placed so beautifully in front of him.

Castiel smiled.

He almost said he loved him.

Almost kissed him, too, but he managed to hold back.

He’s been holding back for five years now.

“What can you remember?” He asked, squeezing his hand.

“Our first date. I think we went to watch a horror movie when we were seniors in high school.” Dean replied and used their hands to stroke Ebony’s back. Cas smiled at that. “It was nice.” But then he sighed sadly. “And I remember when we broke up.” His smile faded as he spoke.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry.”

Dean squeezed Cas’ hand.

“Hey, you have no reason to be sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry – which I am. And I feel like if that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be here in the hospital.” Dean stated softly and Cas smiled then nodded.

“So how did you and Anna happen?” Castiel asked, furrowing his brow. He didn’t intend to be rude or nosy. He just.. wanted to know. Dean rolled his green eyes. “She started showing up at the café I work at. She would just sit there sipping her coffee and stared at me. And then three weeks ago, she started asking me out every day until two weeks ago.” He made a face. “Not really my type.” “I didn’t know you had a specific type.” Cas teased, staring into his green eyes. He continued on brushing his nose against Dean’s, closing his eyes now.

“I feel like my type is black hair, blue eyes, kinda tall and dorky..” Dean listed with a flirty grin. He probably didn’t have a type before he met Cas. But Cas made him only want Cas.

Cas smiled, wanting to kiss him again, but didn’t. So he kept his nose against Dean’s and his hand in his. “Can you remember anything else?” He asked, opening his eyes again. Dean thought for a minute. “Only a few sentences from our conversations; Like when you asked for Ebony; And how you looked when you shoved me over to the binoculars on the Eiffel Tower. Oh, and I had tried to propose to you then, I think.” Dean laughed. “You were too caught up in the view for me to get the damn box out of my pocket.” He added. Castiel’s lips spread into a smile, nose scrunching adorably as he let out a laugh.

“You’ve never told me that before.”

The blue-eyed man scooted closer. “I don’t know what else to do to regain your memory. We’ve done everything..” He sighed.

Dean smirked and finally, _good lord finally,_ closed the distance. As their lips touched, he got a whole two weeks back. He kept his mouth on Cas’ while he thought back on it, then slowly pulled away with bright red cheeks and wide eyes. He cleared his throat and shifted his hips back, away from Cas. “Well..”

Kissing Dean was like heaven for Castiel.

Beautiful, perfect, heaven.

So when he backed away, he sighed, wanting to kiss longer, to let that heaven last longer.

“What? Did you remember something?”

“Oh, I remembered something alright.” Dean chuckled awkwardly. “I remember the cabin. And everything that happened in and around it.” He said. The reason why he had scooted away was because he got an instant boner from the memory. “Oh.” Cas smirked, raising an eyebrow. “You definitely liked that trip.” He continued to tease, realizing why he had scooted away, but didn’t mention anything.

“And you remember the ring and the pie and the sweater?” “I remember everything. Especially that damn good pie.” Dean replied with a lick of his lips. Whether he was thinking of the pie or Cas, he’d never say, but his body langue would always give it away.

Cas chuckled softly, squeezing his hand to tell him to scoot back over.

Ebony was jumping on and off things happily in the hospital room.

“I’m so happy we’re together again. I got so lost without you.”

“I remember feeling so empty and lonely. I guess that’s why.” Dean replied, but still had a half hard dick, so he only scooted a little bit closer. He still hardly knew anything about Cas – not even his full name! – so he felt a little awkward about it. Though he had to admit, there was something there sexually.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” Castiel said softly, lips spreading into a warm smile. He didn’t think he should have said it, but it was worth a shot. He knew Dean barely knew him, but somewhere in that Kansas-born skull of his, the memories of him and Cas were buried deep.

Dean smirked happily.

He leaned in again and kissed Cas, testing the waters. When he didn’t suddenly feel disgusted or guilty, he started to deepen it. His instincts told him that his was where he belonged.

When he finally pulled away, he started to think out loud again: “If you wanna tell me you love me or somethin’, I’m cool with it. You don’t have to hold back. It’ll just take me a bit to say it back.”

But rather than saying he loved him, Cas smiled and said “Endlessly.” He always felt like that meant more than loving someone. He kissed him softly again, like he always did after telling him that, before leaning back and biting his lower lip. Dean rummaged through his memories, trying to pinpoint where that word had put up a flag of recognition. It was in the cabin memories, but in so many other places, too. “Endlessly..” He said, still deep in though.

“You remember?” Cas beamed with a somewhat-tired smile on his face. He had taken his hand out of Dean’s, putting it on the back of his neck, playing randomly with the hairs that lay there. He didn’t know if the touch weirded him out but he continued anyways.

Dean frowned. “No.” He replied sadly. He never really minded being touched by someone that he actually somewhat knew. He was just really confused when he had first woken after the accident and saw a stranger holding his hand. He sighed sadly, wanting to remember everything about Cas.

“Oh.”

The hope faded from Castiel's eyes.

He tried to pinpoint things in his own mess of memories that might Dean regain his own. “I have a gazillion pictures at my apartment that I could bring to maybe help with your memory loss.” He suggested before continuing, “I could pick up some breakfast for you, too.”

Dean thought for a moment.

“I can check out today, so once that’s done, we can go and get the stuff.” Dean said, sitting up with a little wince. “I haven’t been this beat up since high school.” Cas chuckled softly. Dean slowly got to his feet, Cas helping him up. He picked up his torn T-shirt and scuffed leather jacket. “I just wonder what my baby looks like.” Dean sighed, then realized that there was a bit of a breeze on his rear. He placed his hand on his ass to feel a part of the skin. “Son of a bitch..”

Cas laughed, staring at his ass with wide eyes. “I’ve seen your ass countless amounts of times, but good lord.. it looks so _new._ ” He teased, which made Dean blush quite a bit. He shot an embarrassed glare at Cas as he slowly pulled his boxers back on. He would have one faster, but his ribs were broken and all. “Shut your pie hole.” He huffed, then sat on the bed to catch his breath.

“I can help you outside.” Castiel said, holding his hand out for him, not embarrassed or ashamed of what he had said to his ex-fiancé. “Let me get my pants and boots on.” Dean said tiredly, and slowly shoved his feet into the legs. He shimmied into his jeans, then sat back down to put his socks and shoes on. Finally, he took Cas’ hand and limped out of the door with him.

Castiel ended up promising to make Dean pie when they got to the apartment.

Cas didn’t care what anyone thought as he walked out to if the hospital holding Dean’s hand. He decided on not going back to his apartment because he felt as though it would be a bit too soon.

“Novak.”

He suddenly said as he drove to his old apartment and Dean’s current one.

“Castiel Novak.” Again, the blue-eyed man caught himself thinking back to the day when he saw Dean for the very first time.

Dean smiled as he unlocked the door.

“You sound like James Bond.” He pointed out, then kissed Cas once the door was closed.

“Nice to remember you, Cas.” He said with a little smirk.

“I remember how we met.” He added as he slowly sank down onto the couch and rested his back.

“You do?” Cas asked as he took Ebony out of her cage and watched her stretch her legs. Soon, she was off playing with a toy. “What kind of pie?” He asked from the kitchen, taking out all of the basic materials from the cabinet and frige.

“Apple pie, please.” Dean shouted back so Cas could hear him. “Hey, are you the reason I don’t drink? I haven’t really drunk anything for five years..” He asked curiously. It’s not like he wanted to, but the reason behind it was blank.

“Yes. Nothing good comes out of drinking.” He stated flatly, voice a bit stern, but still loose. It was about thirty minutes later when he put the pie into the oven and walked over, standing a few feet in front of Dean. “It’ll be done in an hour. Maybe some music can help with your memory.” He said, walking to the turntable and sifting through his records. It seemed he had gotten a new copy of their song which made him sad because he remembered that song shattering on the floor five years ago but he quickly pushed those memories away.

“Play that one Elvis song.” Dean stated, which didn’t make it easier, but Cas just placed one in.

_Their song. Have I Told You Lately That I Love You._

Cas swayed his hips in a slow manner as he walked back over to Dean. “Do you remember anything?” He questioned.

He wanted to sit on his lap and wrap his legs around his waist.

But didn’t.

So he just kind of sat next to him.

Dean’s breathing was picking up, and he was started to look angry, his lip trying to curl. “I remember your father.” He growled. “And when I told you I love you.” As Dean thought about that, he started to calm down a little. “Okay.” Castiel said with a little grin. The song ended after another minute or so and he got up and put a different record in.

Another Elvis song.

_Can’t Help Falling In Love._

“Anything?” He asked.

“When we studied.” He replied with a little grin. “And I remember the meadow..” He trailed off with a little smile as he thought back to those good memories. It only made him a little horny, but now wasn’t the best time. Cas just smiled and nodded, letting the song play on.

He couldn’t hold himself back anymore and turned over to Dean, sitting on his lap, wrapping his legs around him just like he wanted to. His arms rested around his neck and he looked down at his.. boyfriend? Fiancé? Friend? He didn’t know. “I... I thought this would be fitting..” He blushed, debating whether or not now was the right time do this.

Though, Dean didn’t mind Cas sitting on his lap, as long as he didn’t touch his bruised torso. He ran his fingers over Cas’ sides as he thought, trying to remember everything. He just didn’t remember much that happened during their time in Europe. “Y’know, I haven’t had any of.. this.. kind of sex since I made you leave.” Dean brought up, just trying to make conversation, which Cas could agree with. Besides, Dean liked to hear Cas talk.

Cas brought his hand up and cupped Dean’s cheek, the other gingerly running through his hair.

“We can change that..” He mumbled just before leaning down and kissing him.

Dean most definitely was not planning on this happening, but he was perfectly okay with it.

He was remembering how in love he was with Cas.

He gripped the other man’s shirt tightly, like he was anchoring him from drifting off into an amnesiac’s world. “Endlessly, Cas..” He said, yet he still hadn’t remembered all the reasons why they said it, but he knew enough to mean it. Cas smiled into the other man’s lip as he spoke.

Soon, Cas was stopping his kissing, only to lean down and place his lips on his neck and cheek and nose and everything in between. “Endlessly.” He said once pulling away, staring down into his eyes. The sun shone beautifully into his blue eyes, making him seem even more handsome and amazing than before, Dean completely mesmerized.

The way he lit up like an angel in the light made Dean realize how lucky he was to have Cas sitting there in his lap.

“God, I love you..” He added after saying all of that out loud again.

He really needed to get that checked out.

Cas’ eyes widened at that before he gave a warm smile, leaning down and kissing him softly on the lips. “Love you so much..” was his breathy response. Dean blushed deeply as he kissed Cas back tenderly. “Cas,” he started after building up the courage, “make love to me.” Dean stated breathily, completely nervous. He knew that he had only been with Cas, but the memories of them having sex were a bit hazy, and he hadn’t been with a guy in five years, so he was sure to be tight as hell.

Cas nodded into the kiss.

“I miss how close we were..” Cas said with a shaky breath. This wasn’t just some random act of sex that they’d be having. God, no. And it meant so much for Cas because he hadn’t seen this man in five years and he remembered every single they went through and he was the one forced out of the house that he used to live in with the man he loved – and still did – and for God sakes, he almost _killed himself_ when he wasn’t with him.

So, fuck yes, this was emotional for him.

“Even before I remembered you, I knew my life was lonely these past five years.” Dean admitted sadly, “I was an asshole for throwing you out,” he thought a loud, “and I should’ve seen that I was doing more damage than good.” He sighed and pulled Cas down for another kiss, slipping his hands under his shirt.

Eventually, Dean had shifted so he was on his back, Cas on top of him on his hands, knees on either side of him. Dean had to take a moment to get more comfortable due to his ribs aching and whining at him. “Just be careful where you put your hands. My hips and shoulders are fine; a little iffy at the waist and definitely not the ribs.” Dean said through clenched teeth. Cas nodded, leaning down and pulled off his and Dean’s pants, along with their shirts, leaving them both in only undergarments. He sighed happily at seeing the bulge in Dean’s pants.

“I’ve missed you so much..” He said.

It was still a major understatement.

Dean shifted again under Cas’ gaze. “Cas..” He mewled with pleading eyes. He really wanted to do this. Mostly because he did love Cas again, but he also thought that maybe it would help with memories. Cas nodded at his request.

Soon, he was pulling down Dean’s boxers and throwing them off to the side. He looked up at him, asking for permission to continue, taking his chance to use his own pleading eyes.

Dean let out a sigh of relief through his nose. Those boxers were really constricting.

“You can go ahead, Cassie.” Dean said, looking down at Cas. His eyes were swimming with arousal and love. Cas smiled behind Dean’s length, licking a sultry line up his shaft before wrapping his mouth around the head. He actually moaned – even if he wasn’t the one getting his dick sucked – but for one, he got to taste him again, but not only that, he was the fact that he was his again. His Cas. And he planned on keeping it that way.

Dean moaned back, like it was their secret language. Because of his injuries, he couldn’t move much under Cas’ hot mouth. So instead, he reached down and took Cas’ hand into his own, the blue-eyed man immediately lacing his fingers through Dean’s at the touch.

He began the bobbing of his head, trying his best to make it as pleasurable as possible, so he moaned around him again, this time to add vibration and more stimulation. Dean started to whimper. “Cas, come on..” He pleaded, throwing an arm over his head, embarrassed of the sounds and pleads he was making. Their situation was unique, and he just wanted all of Cas.

Cas obeyed his instructions, popping his head off of Dean’s cock. “Can you get onto your knees with your hands on the armrest?” Castiel asked politely, though a lustful smile was ridden along his face, and his eyes were filled to the brim with love. Dean’s muscles were still achy, but he knew that he would forget about them once Cas was moving inside of him. So, he turned over as fast as his ribs would let him and did as Cas said.

“Fingers or no?” He asked, still taking the lube from the table and lathering his dick and Dean’s ass to slick the two up. Dean shook his head. “No, I won’t last that long.” He answered. “Just lube up real good.” He continued, stretching his back some to where his rear eased closer to Cas. The man behind him nodded, lining himself up with Dean after having taken off his boxers. And Cas knew it would burn much more than usual because Dean hadn’t had sex like this in five years.

So, carefully, Cas pushed the head in, placing his hands gently on Dean’s hips to steady himself. Dean groaned from the painful pleasure that came from being entered for the first time in so long. “Fuck, Cas..” He panted breathily. Although the burn – which was slowly subsiding – he wanted more, more, more. He wanted all of Cas because he was finally remembering.

Cas pushed all the way in after seeing that Dean was starting to get used to the feeling again. He made sure to be gentle, but not too slow, either. So he began to thrust, his dick almost falling out of Dean’s hole with the first slow thrust, and then pushed in again. He leaned down over Dean, trailing hot kisses down his spine, making sure he didn’t hurt his injured body.

And Dean was groaning at the feeling of fullness, and it hurt, admittedly, but not as much as it felt good.

“I remember, Cas.” He panted. “I remember everything. You know what my favorite memory is?” He asked between moans and whimpers. “Hm?” Cas said, not able to form complete words due to Dean’s tightness. He sped his thrusts, making sure to keep it slow so that Dean could start feeling more pleasure than pain.

“When you joined Oxford and I got so excited that I proposed to you.” He graveled out. His back and ass ached, but damn, having Cas inside him again felt too good to give up. So Cas smiled and gave a playful bite into his shoulder because he said his shoulders were okay and didn’t cause any pain. “I love you..” Castiel quickened his thrusts just a bit more; the highest speed he’d go at as of now. Now, he knew this was the Dean he never stopped loving: not the Dean who barely knew him.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Dean..” He sighed into his back, placing a peck of his lips against the soft flesh.

“Just come, Cas, fuck, you can finish me off later.” Dean moaned. He wanted to rock into Cas harder to help move him along, but he could hardly move in his position. He just wanted Cas to find his release.

Cas moaned at that, moving one of the hands that was on Dean’s hips to Dean’s dick and began stroking. And Cas could tell he was close by the way he felt in his hand, yet he didn’t say anything other than “Dean” because he too was about to come. “Fuck, Cas, come in me, please, come in me..” Dean whimpered. For some reason he just needed the feeling of Cas’ come inside of him. It would make him feel complete. He had a large piece of himself missing, and Cas had finally returned to fill it.

Cas finally – happily – obliged to his request, moans becoming screams as he came inside his fiancé. He’d been wanting to that for five years, now, and he felt so much more complete like this. Dean quickly came after him, his liquid shooting into the other man’s hand and onto the couch cushion. He slowly came back from the high and the pain in his ribs were at an all time maximum. “Cas, baby, I need to go lie down..” He murmured after a minute of bearing with the pain.

Cas nodded and pulled out of Dean, putting on his boxers and then helping Dean put his on as well. “Come on, baby..” He took Dean by the waist and guided him into the bedroom. Once inside, he helped him lie down, getting under the covers in front of him so they were facing each other, a warm smile on his face. “I’ll be here waiting for you to wake up.” He said, kissing him softly. Dean smiled sleepily, then looked down at the ring on his thumb.

“Do you still have the ring? I’d promised that things would go back to how it would be..” He said, taking the ring off his thumb and moved it around between his index finger and thumb. “Of course I do..” Cas gave a warm smile, holding his hand up. “I took it off for the first few years but put it back on sometime in ’75.” He took Dean’s ringed hand into his. “You have always been the love of my life. Never think that you don’t make me happy.” He said, blinking tiredly before scooting in closer so that they were wrapped in each other’s arms.

Dean carefully placed himself as close as he could to Cas. “Endlessly to you, too.” Dean chuckled sleepily, then settled down for a nap. It felt right; having Cas in his arms again, basking in the afterglow of their previous sex session.

 Cas smiled out of the corner of his mouth.

He was too tired to grin completely.

Soon, he was snoring softly against Dean’s skin, sleeping peacefully for once in the five years of him never feeling right when he slept. It was so, so relieving.


	17. Big Boys and Angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make up for not posting for a while, this is basically all porn. Or fluff. Or both.

**The Christmas of that year, Dean and Cas were finally landing on the plane that took them back to Kansas to visit the family for the holidays.**

“I still hate planes.” Dean commented tiredly. He’d healed completely, but if he sat still too long or did too much work, his ribs would ache. “It feels nice to visit Kansas.” Dean said with an appreciative sigh. Cas chuckled, taking his hand after they grabbed their luggage and walked into the parking lot of the airport. “I’ve never met Bobby.” He added, sitting down in the rental car that they had gotten due to the impala being overseas.

Dean shrugged. “With my dad gone all the time, Bobby was like our surrogate father. Though I started living in my old house during senior year because I wanted some alone time with you.” Dean chuckled with a wink as they drove past the house they used to call home. “Sammy said he’s living in it now, so we’re gonna have to stay at Bobby’s. We’re gonna have to be quiet when we fuck.” Cas nodded. “Makes sense.” He added plainly. He had laughed at his other comment, and turned his head to rest his chin on his shoulder.

“Not so sure I’ll be able to be quiet. Gonna have to gag me.” Cas teased. Aside from his teasing, they pulled up to Bobby’s house, Sam’s car already in the driveway. Dean shoved Cas, but not enough to move him. “Don’t get me all worked up when we’re about to go in and see the family.” Dean huffed, but still kissed Cas. They walked up to the door, hand in hand, but it was opened by a very tall man with brown hair.

“Jesus, Sammy, how tall are you gonna get?” Dean exclaimed as they hugged. Cas stood off to the side, making sure not to get into the middle of their reunion. He smiled while he watched them hug, not knowing Dean had such a good family over here in the states. When Dean was done talking to his surrogate father, Cas turned to him and whispered into his ear. “Are you sure that Bobby is okay with.. y’know..” Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’ shoulder. “Bobby doesn’t give two shits as long as I’m happy.” He replied. “He looks like a grumpy old bear but he’s just a little kitty cat.” Dean chuckled.

 “Hey, Sammy, how’s Gabe?” “Oh, we uh.. we broke up a while ago; Never really worked out.” Sam flashed Dean a reassuring smile, telling him it’s all good before they went into the great room and sat down on the set of two couches and a chair. Cas and Dean took their own couch, Bobby took the chair, and Sam sat in the extra couch, clearly leaving a spot for someone.

Dean chatted with his brother about all the things he’d seen with Cas.

“I wish you could see our apartment/ It’s perfect, but there isn’t enough room for you to stay.” Dean said, then laughed a bit. “You’d probably hit your head on things.” Eventually, he turned back to randomly kiss Cas’ cheek, which made the blue-eyed man smile warmly, Sam laughing beside them at Dean’s comments about Paris and their apartment. “Yes, we have a cat.” Cas said with a smile, trying to join the conversation. Sam smiled at Cas, then cleared his throat with a certain grin.

“Sam, don’t.” Dean warned, but his little brother ignored him.

“So, Cas, we were wondering... who’s the bitch of the relationship?” Sam asked over Dean’s threat’s, who was currently groaning and leaning his forehead into Cas’ shoulder. “You son of a bitch..” Could be heard from his lips.

“Well.” Cas adjusted his posture.

“Both.”

Cas was biting his cheeks to keep in a laugh, though he sounded and looked blank, and maybe even a bit serious.

Sam started laughing, mostly at Dean’s embarrassment and Cas’ expression. “You shut your pie hole!” Dean shouted back at Sammy, pulling Cas closer with a pout of a five year old. Bobby then spoke up. “Alright, ya idjits, get the hell to bed. Dean and Cas had a long day.” Cas nodded at that, taking Dean’s hand and standing from the couch. “Our room is upstairs?” He asked, letting his fiancé guide him to their room. “Yeah, Bobby sleeps on the couch anyways and sleeps like a rock, which means..” Dean said and pulled Cas into their room. “Though maybe in a bit for him to actually fall asleep..”

Cas nodded, biting his lower lip then gave a little smile. “I love you.” He said calmly, letting Dean push him down onto the bed so Cas was lying on his back, Dean crawling over him with hands on either side of his body. “Have you told Sam and Bobby about us being engaged?” “I’ve hinted at it.” Dean said a bit guiltily. He kissed Cas in apology. “You still need to pick a date and a place.” He added on as he lightly kissed down his fiancé’s neck from behind his ear down to his collarbone.

Cas tilted his head to the side so Dean could get a better angle. “Hmm..” He closed his eyes in thought and pleasure, thinking on when and where. “Next year so we can get it planned.. probably in the April so it’s not too hot and not too cold..” He paused for a moment in thought. “On the beach..” He added, letting out a sigh as he imagined it.

“Let’s do it on a week day so we can have the beach to ourselves. And what about the honeymoon?” Dean went on, using his thumb to stroke Cas’ cheek.

“Alaska.” He said plainly, smiling at Dean’s touch. “It’s beautiful and I’ve never hiked before and I think it would be fun.” He said a little too quickly, but it sounded perfect. He finally opened his eyes, blue eyes shining like stars with the moonlight reflecting off him amazingly. Perfectly. And Dean still had troubles keeping thoughts in his head when Cas was just too perfect for his brain. “God, I love you..” He breathed, trying to memorize exactly how Cas looked at that exact moment.

“Love doesn’t even begin to explain my feelings for you.” Cas said, smiling softly and brought his arms up to wrap around Dean’s neck. “So.. d’ya wanna.. y’know..” Cas gave his best flirty eyes. Dean paused his kissing and listened downstairs. The TV was still on pretty loud, and some snoring could be heard. “Definitely.” He said playfully before going back to pressing butterfly kisses onto Cas’ neck, hands creeping under his shirt.

A breath hitched in Castiel’s throat as cold fingers touched his skin, but he was relaxing into the feeling after just a few moments. He eventually took off his own shirt then Dean, both movements slow and steady and easy. “Make love to me..” He whispered breathily into Dean’s ear.

Even if Cas had whispered “I want some pie”, it would still give Dean an instant boner. He nodded willingly, then slowly slid Cas’ pants off, watching his fiancé as he kissed down his leg just as leisurely. Cas closed his eyes again, lips parting as Dean trailed happy little kisses down his lower half. “Endlessly..” He muttered under his breath, barely audible.

Dean gave a swift kiss next to the base of Cas’ cock. “Endlessly, Cas.” He repeated, his breath warm on Cas’ sensitive skin. He sat up and took his own pants off, then went to look for lube, purposefully showing off his ass, which Cas had propped himself up onto his elbows to see. He was bent over, reaching into their bag to find a bottle of lube, which made Cas smirk and lick his lips. “Such a tease..” He muttered as Dean continued to show off his behind.

Dean stood back up, the bottle in his hand. Once he was kneeling between Cas’ legs again, he hitched them up around his legs with a cheeky grin. “You know it.” He chuckled, then started to prepare Cas.

The man gasped at the cold on his ass, hissing at the pleasure of Dean slowly preparing him.

“Fingers..” He said desperately after about a minute of the torturous appliance of lubrication. “Please..”

“Gotta use your words, Cassie.” Dean purred, keeping the slow pace of slicking Cas up.

“Put your fingers in me, god dammit.” He growled, using his words like he was said to do. He bucked his hips into the touch of his rim being played with so carefully.

Dean decided to put two in, since Cas did as he was told. He stroked his walls, then wiggled his knuckles against the prostate. “Gonna be nice and slow, Cas. Show you how much I love you.” He cooed. “Fuck..” Cas kept his voice low and at a whisper as best he could, so the curse came out under his breath. He nodded vigorously, the back of his head digging into the bed beneath him, fingers curling into the white sheets.

Dean finally placed the third in and started to scissor him open. “I’m gonna marry you next April, and then we’ll spend a month in Alaska. Gonna love you then, too, every night.” Dean said. Once he thought Cas was stretched out enough, he wiped his fingers off on his dick. He took Cas’ hands firmly in his own and slowly sank in. “Dean..” He moaned, balling the sheets into his hands, moaning out.

A few of his moans came out as only squeaks because he was trying to be quiet. “Faster.. go faster..” He begged after getting used to the feeling of Dean inside of him. “No, Cas. Love like this needs to have its moment in the spotlight.” He breathed, pressing down firmly against his fiancé’s prostate. Cas nodded again, relishing in the pleasure of Dean being so close and so deep inside of him. “Love you so much..” He breathed, smiling blissfully, eyes closed in lust and pleasure.

Dean hummed in reply, then wiggled a bit so he was just laying on top of Cas.

“I wonder if you’ll come just from this. I bet I will.” Dean commented devishly, resting his chin on Cas’ bare chest and gave it a sultry lick. “Dean.. move..” He cried, bringing his hands up and running them through his blonde hair. He could barely even shift against him, and when he did, it didn’t make much difference in the amount of pleasure he was getting. Dean brought their left hands up and kissed their rings.

“There.”

“I moved.”

Dean bent his head down to gnaw lightly on the muscle protruding from Cas’ neck. “Fuck, Dean..” He sighed, taking a moment to think. Within a split second, he was on top of Dean, pinning him down against the bed. “You weren’t moving.” He said innocently, getting to a different position. He sat down on Dean’s length, though facing away from him. Like this, Dean got a great view of his ass, but Cas was in control, unlike when he’s facing Dean in a very similar position to this.

Dean didn’t really mind the position change once he took in the view. He ran his palms up Cas’ back and the other snaked around to grab his dick. He used Cas’ precum to lessen the friction between their skin. Cas moaned at the feeling, finally being able to find a good pace and being able to ram Dean’s cock against his prostate with each bounce of his hips. He had a lustful smile on his face that Dean couldn’t see, and quiet, breathy moans escaped from those beautiful cupid-bow lips.

Each time Cas lifted up, Dean would twist his wrist so he could touch more of his fiancé’s dick. He had to sit up a bit to reach, which made him go farther into Cas. “God, Cas, you love me so good..” Dean said breathily. “So good..” Cas repeated, throwing his head back as he rode his fiancé at a steady pace. He wasn’t going rough or too fast or anything, because this was supposed to be making love, not fucking. Big difference.

Dean eventually had to flop back down against the mattress, gripping Cas’ waist tight as he tried to hold himself back. “God, Cas, endlessly, you’re too good for me.” He panted, so close to the edge of his release. “Fuck.. only for you, baby.. so good..” He moaned as he brought his hand up and began stroking himself. “Dean, wanna feel your come in me.” Cas groaned, about to come as well. Dean gladly obliged and came immediately into Cas’ ass. “Cas!” He squeaked quietly, his cum coating the inside of his lover.

 _Maybe I’ll get him to come in me in a couple hours.._ Dean thought randomly, then vowed he’d make it happen.

“Dean..!” Cas cried softly, coming right after his fiancé at the feeling of his cum in his ass. His own white liquid was spurted onto his stomach in multiple different stripes. “Fuck..” He moaned, slowly beginning to milk everything out of him. Dean ran his hand over Cas’ back again in a soothing way to help with his orgasm. “Love you so good, Cas.” He murmured softly. Cas nodded slowly, eventually coming off of Dean’s cock and plopping down beside him with a blissful smile on his face.

“I love you.” Cas muttered softly. “Always.” Dean replied  instantly, using the discarded shirt to wipe themselves off. Once finished, he pulled Cas close and breathed in his smell. It wasn’t in a creepy way – more of a loving, tender way. Cas smiled and ground back into Dean, Dean’s arm wrapping instinctively.  “Get some sleep, big boy.” Cas smirked at the new nickname he just gave his fiancé. Dean groaned at the pet name. “Cas, what the hell?” He sighed.

“You and your nick names.” Dean grumbled into Cas’ hair in embarrassment. He blew into Cas ear as payback, though.

“Hey, hey, now.” Cas chuckled, rolling over and looking him in the eyes. He paused for a moment to build suspense before blurting out “Big boy.” Just to get on his nerves. Dean growled. “How about I call you angel, then? Cutest angel in the garrison.” He chuckled back at Cas and pinched his cheek before kissing it wetly.

Cas smiled.

“It fits.” Cas leaned in and kissed him softly, brushing his nose against his for a second before closing his eyes.

“ **Love you..” “..Big boy..”**

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes, but settled down. He kept Cas close, though stayed awake. He had a promise to himself and slightly to Cas that he had to uphold.

Cas fell asleep easily in his arms, tired from their previous little session of lovin’. He was all curled up, face in front of Dean’s, hands up by his face. He looked like a kitten, a little bit, but he was adorable.

A few hours later, Dean woke Cas up and rode him gently, since the other one was sleeping. He just didn’t feel complete without having bottom sex before going to bed that night. He was completely fine if Cas fell asleep.

Cas groaned, shifting in bed with a whine. He could tell it was still night by how there was no sun shining onto his eyelids, so he didn’t bother waking instantly.

Dean had already gotten himself prepped before waking Cas up by turning him onto his back. He gently lubed Cas up, then slowly crawled over him. “Sorry, baby.” Dean cooed, then slowly sank down so Cas was inside him. Cas let out an “Uunghh..” as his eyes fluttered open. “Dean.. what a.. pleasant surprise..” He muttered, a bit drowsy from sleep. He gave a sly, tired smile as he watched his fiancé rid him just before leaning his head back again and relaxing, soaking up all the pleasure.

Dean smiled warmly back at Cas, taking in his facial expressions. “Only for you, Cas.” He purred, curling the top part of his back over so his hands rested on either side of Cas’ head. “Endlessly.” Dean sighed in pleasure. Cas smirked, letting a low moan free from his lips.

“Endlessly” was the only audible word that fell from his tongue. He just stayed still, letting Dean be in full control. Besides, he was still tired from having been asleep not five minutes ago.

Dean drew it out with his slow pace. He eventually got lost in the feeling of Cas moving inside of him, and he came long and hard. He kept murmuring Cas’ name and praise as he kept moving, wanting Cas’ juices to full him, too. “Dean..” Cas mumbled, gripping the sheets for leverage. With a couple more moves of Dean’s hips, he came inside of his fiancé, letting out another low moan as he found his release.

Dean moved for a minute more before going still, letting Cas seep in him, kissing his fiancé’s chest lightly. “You can go back to sleep now, angel.” He whispered between another kiss. Cas nodded, unknowing if Dean would stay like that the entire night, but hell if he cared. So, he closed his eyes, a peaceful smile on his face.

Dean did, though, eventually get off Cas’ cock, but stayed laying on top of him. He had his legs curled up on either side of Cas’ hips, his head resting on his fiancé’s upper torso. He looked up as he stroked Cas’ cheek with his thumb. The blue-eyed man smacked his lips then wrapped his arms around Dean.

“Big boy..” He teased again, actually meaning it a bit now because Dean was slightly heavy, but it didn’t bother him, so he didn’t say anything about it. He liked having Dean next to him when he slept, and if this was how Dean wanted to sleep tonight, he was okay with it.

Dean groaned at the name again, and rolled off Cas, his back facing him.

“You’re so annoying.” He whined quietly, although he never took it to heart. He knew Cas was only playing.

Cas chuckled softly, turning to wrap his arms around his lover and pull him close. “Love you.” He muttered sleepily, eyes closed, clearly on the verge of unconsciousness.

“Love you, too, Cas.” Dean murmured, putting his hand and arm over Cas’. He was close to sleep, too, since he had stayed awake until he pounced on Cas.

“Angel” as Dean called him, fell asleep much faster than he thought he would. His nose was buried in Dean’s hair, snoring softly against his skull until the next morning. He was still asleep by the time 10:00 rolled around, immensely tired from their previous night activities.

Dean was wide awake.

Dean had carefully moved Cas onto his stomach and started to stroke his hair. He just sat in bed, in the pajamas he had slipped on before, cradling Cas between his legs, and watching the sun rise through the blinds of the window.

Cas woke up with his annual, adorable little yawn. “Dean..” He mumbled, nuzzling his cheek into Dean’s bare chest. He looked up at him, the sun reflecting amazingly off his eyes. Dean was dazzled – again – and all he could think of was to kiss Cas.

So he did.

“ _Love Me Tender_ by _Elvis_ is stuck in my head.” He softly said at random after their song. Cas smiled. “It’s a good song..” He muttered, shifting a bit to get more comfortable. The sheets were only up to his waist, but he had Dean to warm him.

And that was nice, y’know.

Waking up and knowing there’s someone beside you that loves you.

That feeling is hard to find. So once you have it, keep it, _okay?_

“Bobby probably knows what we were up to, so let’s go down and get some breakfast so we don’t have to sit under that knowing gaze he has.” Dean sighed, but didn’t want to actually leave the comfort of Cas in bed.

Though, Cas nodded, stretching his legs like the kitten he was before standing up, which he also didn’t want to did, but did it anyways. He put on his pajama bottoms and a random Led Zeppelin T-shirt that he had picked up from the floor. “C’mon, I’m hungry.” He pouted, holding his hand out for Dean to take.

Dean pulled on his own pajamas, but not a shirt. He kissed Cas’ forehead and led the way downstairs, their hands intertwined.

Cas smiled at the scent of pancakes, bacon, and eggs. “Damn..” Cas said, seeing that it wasn’t Bobby, nor Sam making the food, but a blonde-haired girl, who must have gotten to the house before they woke. Sam’s arms were wrapped around her waist as she cooked.

“They look so happy.” Cas whispered, not wanting to disturb the couple. Dean grinned. “She’s his, Cas.” He murmured and walked around to the living room, pulling Cas with him with a little smile on his face. “She said she really wants to meet you. She loves talking about weddings, so she’ll probably talk your ear off.”

Dean had pulled Cas all the way onto the couch and then onto his lap, which made the room fill with his laughs. He wrapped his arms loosely around Dean’s neck. “She seems so nice and pretty.” He muttered, staring at Sam and Jess as they laughed and cooked breakfast. He remembered when he and Dean were fighting with the pancakes and the syrup, which made him chuckle softly to himself.

Dean lightened his arms around Cas for a quick second. “What are you laughing for you? And what’re you, jealous? ‘Cause you shouldn’t be. You’re way prettier and nicer.” He purred at him, tilting his head back to look Cas directly in the eyes. Cas laughed again, leaning down and giving him a quick kiss. “Naahh.. I’m not, I’m annoying and picky.” The blue-eyed man teased, but Jess was suddenly calling “Breakfast!” from the kitchen before Dean could reply.

Dean stood up quickly, keeping Cas firmly pressed to his chest as he walked with him in his arms to the kitchen. Cas was a bit scared at the sudden change in movement, which made him wrap his arms tight around his neck, legs securing around Dean’s hips. “Y’know, I think I’m good. I’ve got plenty of food right here.” He said, then made an “om” noise as he pretended to take a chunk out of Cas’ neck.

Though, Cas was laughing by the time Dean had pretended to eat a piece of his neck.

“Though, I should probably put some meat on this old bag of bones..” He sighed and set Cas back down. Sam laughed. “But Dean, you’re older than him.” Sam pointed out, making Dean freeze from his own stupidity.

Cas laughed again as he sat down next to Jess, a little wobbly from Dean having so recklessly – yet somehow carefully – carried him along. Dean threw a piece of toast at Cas’ head. “Don’t laugh at me.” He grumbled as he sat across from his fiancé. He had “I’m gonna punish you” eyes as he got his own plate of food, Sam sitting next to him.

Cas smirked, throwing the toast back at him before starting to eat his food. Bobby stumbled in after a little while.

“Hello, Jess.” He said with a warm smile, taking some of the pancakes and bacon from the middle of the table. Jess said “Hi” back.

“So, Jess, what do you do?”

“Oh, I study in Stanford. I’m into law as well.”

As she talked, Dean stuck his foot out and traced his toe up Cas’ inner leg. He kept eating and looking at Jess like he was very interested in what she was saying. Cas was greatly trying to keep a warm smile as Jess spoke, also trying – desperately, might I add – to kick Dean’s leg away without making any noises.

He had to bite his cheeks to keep himself from letting out a pleasured gasp.

“I go to Oxford. I’m studying English and History.” He stated, taking a shaky bite of his food.

Jess practically dropped her jaw, her eyes going wide and her brows raising.

“You’ve gotta be a genius or something then.” She said in awe. Dean bit back his own grin and tried not to glance back to Cas as he kept going after his leg.

“I got a full ride. Probably because I know French, Spanish, German, a little bit of Russian, Italian, some Polish, and Swedish. I’m quite fluent in almost each of them, and as you may have noticed, over the seven years that I was in Europe I gained a bit of a French or English accent. It’s mixed, is what Dean always tells me.”

Dean set his foot in Cas’ lap and gripped his crotch with his toes.

Cas’ eyes widened at the abrupt pressure on his dick.

Jess groaned. “Oh, come on. Where did you find this guy, Dean?” She sighed.

“Huh? Oh. Well, when he first walked into our first class, he had a nice face. When I went to flirt, he was getting beat up. That didn’t sit well with me, so fists flew, and then I fell in love.” Dean summed up simply, keeping his foot on Cas the whole time. Cas nodded at the story Dean had told Jess.

“We just kinda.. clicked, y’know?” Cas added.

Cas put his free hand in his lap and desperately tried to push Dean’s foot away, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Yeah we did.” Dean said suggestively with an eye wiggle. “Oh, God..” Jess laughed in slight disgust, putting her face in her hand. Dean just laughed back with her, running his big toe over Cas’ palm. Cas gave an angry look up to Dean as he bit back yet another pleasured gasp.

“So how did you and Sam meet?” Cas asked quizzically. He couldn’t help but let out a much-needed sigh this time. “Oh, it’s pretty lame. We met at school. He would annoy me so much that I eventually said yes to a date with him. After that, he was much sweeter.” Jess replied with a shrug and smiled at her boyfriend across the table. She hadn’t noticed the sigh, but Dean did. He smirked at Cas as he did it again, then went back to fondling with the base of his cock and balls.

Cas took a bite of his food, finally moaning around the pancake he was eating, but it was muffled and no one could hear. Dean could tell though, because after being with him for five years, he knew what his face looked like when he moaned.

Dean grinned devilishly, eating his own food naturally, and kept doing it all through breakfast. He was sure Cas wouldn’t be able to get up from the table so his boner wouldn’t flash the others, so he washed Cas’ plate once they finished eating.

Cas, in the meantime, let out a victorious groan as Dean moved his food away from his crotch. He urged himself to calm down so he could stand without his boner being noticed when the time came to move from the table. Just in case Dean came back and did it again, he brought his legs up and crossed them in his seat.

“Thank you for cleaning my plate, Dean.” He said as Dean walked back into the dining room. Dean walked up beside him. “Of course. Now if y’all will excuse us, I’ve come to whisk away my bride.” He said and swept Cas up into his arms, the hard on pressed against his bare stomach. Jess was giggling as Dean carried him away.

Cas laughed as he was moved away from the table. He could hear Bobby said “idjits” from the kitchen at the time of him being carried up the stairs and into their room. The blue-eyed man wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and showed off his smile, scrunching his nose as he laughed.

Once their door was shut behind them, Dean tossed Cas onto the bed and jumped on after him. “Hmm, what should I do to you..” He said thoughtfully, like Cas wasn’t able to hear him. He placed a quick, wet kiss on Cas’ cheek. Cas bit his lip, staring up at Dean with wide eyes. “I thought you already punished me..”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to make agonizingly slow love to you.” Dean purred as he stood to slip his pants off. He slowly pulled Cas’ off, too, before climbing back onto the bed.

Cas shook his head to himself.

“Whyyy..” He groaned in anger and impatience. He sighed, because he was now already naked, and he stared up at Dean with those immensely blue eyes, waiting for him to do something. Dean placed a soft kiss onto Cas’ lips. “I’m gonna marry you on a beach in four months.. I’ll finally get to love you endlessly.” He kissed him again and pulled him into his arms, legs around his waist.

Ca smiled, tightening his legs around Dean’s hips and kissed him back. “What do you mean? You already love me endlessly.” He sighed into his lips before pulling away to look back into those green eyes. Dean dragged Cas back with a little grin. “But then the government would know about it. I want the whole world to know how much I love you.” He said into Cas’ neck, lips brushing the skin. One of his hands moved down so he could softly rub the head of Cas’ dick with his thumb.

“Ungh..” Cas moaned, tilting his head to the side. “Fucker..” Cas told, wanting to go much faster than they were right now. He most definitely did not want Dean to take his time with him.

“What would you rather your punishment be?” Dean asked, looking up from kissing slowly along Cas’ collar bones. He gave Cas’ dick a little squeeze, only enough to cause pleasure.

“Fuck me hard and rough.. and gag me or somethin’ so they can’t hear.” Cas suggested, wanting something else than an agonizingly slow fuck. He twitched a bit under Dean’s soft touches. Though he did like it when they made love slow, this was different. This was a punishment of sorts.

Dean hummed in thought.

“You’ll have to bite into the pillow. I don’t have any gags or ties.” He informed as he slowly pushed Cas down. He straightened his back so he was kneeling over the other man. Cas nodded, flipping himself over and pushing his cheek into the pillow. He waited impatiently – again – still waiting for him to do something. Eventually, he pushed his face into the pillow, which obviously made him unable to see anything.

Dean stuck his fingers into his mouth and sucked for a bit until they were dripping from his spit. He then used those to prep Cas quickly, barely giving it enough time to fully prep him before shoving his dry dick in with a possessive grunt.

“Fuck!” Cas screamed into the pillow, but it was muffled surprisingly well.

“Hurts..” He mumbled, even though he had done this many times before. Except, Dean had either actually used lube to prep him and carefully prepped him, or he had gone in with lube.

Dean paused and ran his hands up and down Cas’ back soothingly. He bent down to rest his face on Cas’ shoulder blade. “Do you want me to stop? I will if it’s too much.” Dean offered worriedly. Cas shook his head, biting down hard enough on his lip to draw blood.

He was lying so his ass was up but his back sloped downwards, which allowed for him to grind into Dean to get used to the feeling a bit more. “Okay.. I think I’m ready..” Cas concluding, grinding back into him just once more to test the waters

Dean gave Cas a couple more minutes, then pulled out slowly, his hands on Cas’ hips. Once his head was the only thing left in, he snapped his hips forward, his abdomen slapping against Cas’ ass cheeks. Cas moaned, biting the pillow harder than ever now, hands balling the sheets into his fists for leverage.

Dean set his hands on the mattress beside Cas’ hips to have a better angle as he thrusted harder and faster. If the others hadn’t been watching the TV, they would’ve heard the mattress squeaking as Dean pretty much humped Cas. Cas couldn’t help but let out moans here and there, long, loud, and unashamed moans into the pillow. “Faster..” Were the only audible words falling from his lips that weren’t muffled fully by the pillow.

Damn did Dean try his hardest to meet Ca’s needs. He sped up his movements even more and moved a bit so he would hit Cas’ prostate firmly with each one of his many thrusts. “You laughing at my age? Do I look old to you now?” Dean growled softly. It was all just dirt talk, though, because he knew Cas didn’t mean it.

For Cas, the feeling of Dean hitting his prostate with no slick was overwhelmingly pleasurable. “Dean..” Cas managed, but he couldn’t hear him. “Dean.. touch me..” The words were audible this time, so Dean reached around Cas’ waist and grabbed at his dick. He started to jack the other man off quickly, Cas had wanted it fast and hard, so he was making it fast and really fucking hard. He knew they would both be sore later.

Each thrust made Cas gasp or a breath hitch in his throat as Dean went in as deep as possible and moan when he went almost all the way out.

“Dean, ungh, fuck, love you so much…” He groaned into the pillow.

“Gonna come..”

Dean nodded against Cas’ back. “You gonna come with my dick up your tight ass? You like it when I fuck you hard like this, fuck you till you’re gonna be sore?” Dean panted, wanting to spur Cas on towards his cliff of release and ecstasy. Cas nodded vigorously, a definite yes to both questions.

“Fuck, Dean, coming, I’m coming!” Cas gasped into the pillow before the pleasure of climax overwhelmed him, white liquid spurting out into Dean’s hand.

The feeling of Cas squeeze and throbbing around him sent Dean over the edge as well.

“Cas!” He said quietly, since he didn’t have a gag for himself. He came hard into the other man, dick pulsing. “Dean..” Cas expressed, feeling his lover’s cum coat his innards. He turned his head so that his cheek was on the pillow, breath all pants and gasps by now. “Love you so much..” He said to his fiancé with a lustful smile.

Dean still had shots of  pleasure running through his body as he held himself over Cas and slowed his thrusts to a stop. “Endlessly, baby..” He purred back with love filled eyes as he looked to his fiancé. Cas smiled, grinding into Dean a few times to milk out the last bits of his lover’s orgasm. “Kiss me..” Cas strained, not having the strength to lean back and do it himself. So, Dean stretched himself out over Cas’ back and kissed his way up Cas’ neck to his lips.

The kisses were softer and more tender than what their recent activity would have usually brought out.

Once Dean’s lips found Cas’, he gladly kissed back.

Lips left each other’s now, Cas groaned when he moved out of Dean’s cock. “Love you.” Cas pointed out, plopping down on the bed, incredibly tired from their fuck. Dean rolled onto his back with a little smile as he used the shirt they had used last night to wipe off his hand, then pulled Cas into his side. “Endlessly.” He muttered tiredly back.

Cas put on his pajama pants again before cuddling back into the bed next to Dean. “Endlessly.” He stated again, placing his cheek on Dean’s collarbone, leg falling naturally over Dean’s lower half. Dean drug the covers over them to keep anyone’s unsuspecting eyes from being blinded. “Never gonna give you up, Cas.” He sighed happily. “Never gonna stop loving you, either. Ever. Never ever.” Cas sighed and stared up at Dean with a content smile.

“I’m so tired.” He rolled over so he was on top of him completely, legs on either side of his body. “Whoops.” Cas smirked, kissing him softly. Dean kissed him back happily. “Yeah, whoops.” He chuckled and wrapped his arms around him. He ran his hand gently through Cas’ hair as he relaxed into the sheets. Cas scooted backwards a bit so that Dean’s chin was on top of his head. His crotch area was against Dean’s navel, not hard anymore, but still noticeable.

Cas gnawed at Dean’s collarbone playfully. “I’m so tired..” Cas started, eyelids heavy. “And sore.” He continued, continuing to nibble on Dean’s muscle and bone. “I’ll bite you right back, Cas.” Dean warned, but there was no real threat in his voice. He really didn’t care what Cas did to him, as long as it wasn’t humiliating. That would just be annoying.

Cas smiled.

“You are going to be the death of me, Dean Winchester.” He teased with a sly smile. “If you die, I die.” Dean said flatly. He meant it. There would be nothing here for him. He had survived the five years apart because of the possibility of getting Cas back. There was no way for the dead to come back.

Cas nodded, finally stopping the playful bites on his collarbone, clearly asleep. He snored softly, still fully on top of Dean, but he was much lighter than his fiancé so sleeping like this wasn’t uncomfortable for Dean.

Dean had thought about what he would do once Cas died, or what Cas would do once Dean died. That took him about an hour – about until 2:50 – until he shook his head. He didn’t want to think about it. So, he snuggled up with his fiancé and fell asleep happy.


	18. Homo sapiens, man

**Cas woke up a few hours later with a groan.**

“Fuck..” Cas said, shifting slightly against Dean. He was impossibly sore.

“Wake up, big boy.” He whispered, leaning up and kissing him softly to urge him to open his eyes.

Dean peaked an eye open at him.

“No.” He said after a moment, then shut his eye again and turned his head away. He started fake snoring, too. “Such a tease..” Cas mused into his cheek over his snoring. “C’mon..” Cas ground against the sensitive flesh that lay below his waist to help get him up. Dean batted at Cas. “Too asleep right now, Cas.” He mumbled and turned fully onto his stomach, his legs spread out on the empty side of the bed.

“Yeah, and I’m sore as hell. So come on.. get up.” Cas muttered, lying back on top of him of Dean, grinding against his ass just for his own little bit of friction. “It’s 6:27.” He said with a sigh. Dean huffed and open his eyes to glare sleepily at the wall. He flapped his hand at Cas to get him to move. “Fine, fine, I’m getting up.” Dean sighed tiredly with a pout. Cas grinned victoriously and rolled off of Dean’s back with a second groan. “Fucking Christ, Dean..” He sighed, the soreness of his ass getting to him. He huffed and brought the covers up to his waist for warmth.

Dean looked at Cas grumpily. “What you cussing at me for?” Dean asked as he stood. He looked around the room for his clothes, then got dressed into them again. “I’m so sore..” Cas mumbled, standing and rubbing his bottom. He smirked tiredly, pulling on his shirt and coming in front of Dean, wrapping his arms around his waist, staring up at him with a sly smile. Dean shrugged and smirked back down at Cas.

“You’re the one who said to do it rough.” He retorted smugly. He pulled Cas closer to him by wrapping his arms around the top of Cas’ shoulders and kissed the top of his head. Cas gave a warm smile at that, just before backing away from him. “I’m hungry..” He had a slight limp in his step due to.. previous.. activities. Dean have Cas his crooked grin and raised his brows suggestively. “Oh yeah?” He asked Cas again in a more predatory way.

Cas’ smile turned into a cocky one as he slowly began to back away from Dean in a teasing sort of way. “Mmmm..” He teased, thinking of what Dean thought by what he meant of being hungry.

Dean paused in his movements, then shot his hand out and grabbed Cas by the front of his pants and dragged him closer. He trapped the other man in his arms, pressing him firmly against him. “I’ve got sausage.. or some chicken..” He purred in an innuendo. “Sausage sounds nice.” Cas muttered, looking up at his fiancé with a hint of lust in his eyes. He pressed his hand against Dean’s stomach as he sexily bit down on his lower lip.

Dean placed a heated kiss onto Cas’ lips. “Oh really?” He breathed hotly once he pulled away a millimeter. “We don’t even have to leave the room if you do.” He chuckled breathily. Cas smirked, dropping down to his knees and pulling down Dean’s pants, all in one swift movement. He licked his lips, eyes locked onto Dean’s, who in the meantime, had placed one hand in Cas’ hair, tangling his fingers into it as he stroked it. He used the other hand to stroke his dick slowly, not being able to resist the urge when Cas was kneeling in front of him.

Cas smirked, staring up at Dean all the while before licking a steady line up his length, playing with the base of his crotch with his hand. “You like this, hm?” He said before going down on him fully, all the way to the back of his throat, eyes glued on the green ones above him as he moaned around the penis in his mouth. “Yes, Cas, fuck..” He panted quietly. He just hoped no one walked in on them. “You love me too good..” He moaned softly, running his fingers through Cas’ hair, holding back on just fucking his mouth completely.

He began to bob his head at the perfect speed – the pace he knew Dean always liked, no matter if it were a slow fuck or a rough one.

Dean let his head hang back as Cas sent pleasure coursing through his veins. The only words that came out of his mouth were “fuck” and “Cas” sometimes a  “love” could be heard as well.

Cas continued the moving of his head, speeding up a bit to add more pleasure. His hand continued to play with the base of Dean’s cock and balls, the other stroking him in unison to the bobbing of his head.

Dean came a lot faster than he would like to admit.

Cas was too much of an expert at this.

And he told him that with a bit of a grumpy look once his twitching and throbbing and moans lessened.

“Fuck, Dean..” Cas said once swallowing his love-liquid, some of it dripping down his chin. “I think I do love you too much. You came quicker than ever.” He said, standing up, not noticing that there was still Dean’s cum on his face. Dean huffed at Cas, then spotted the white spot. He stayed quiet about it, though. “Let’s just get some real food.” Dean chuckled as he pulled his pants back up and tucked his receding erection back in.

Cas nodded, taking Dean’s hand and walking down the stairs with him, only to see Bobby and Jess talking about something in the kitchen and Sam watching the TV.

When they walked into the kitchen, Jess stopped in the middle of her sentence to stare at Cas with wide eyes. When Dean smirked back at her behind Cas’ back, she blushed and went back to talking with Bobby. Cas had no idea what Jess had been staring at, but shrugged it off and went into the living room, sifting through records in front of Sam. “Hey, Sam.” He said as he found a Led Zeppelin record he liked and placed it into the turntable.

Dean sat on the other end of the couch so Cas had to sit between him and Sam.

He kept a very smug look on his face as he started watching TV, too.

Cas went and sat in between the brothers, listening to the music more than the TV. He rested his head on Dean’s shoulder while he was at it, now a little angry at why everyone was staring at him.

After an hour, the fiancés eating in the meantime, Dean finally pointed it out. “Cas, there’s something on your face.” He whispered quietly into his ear. Sam had been sitting uncomfortably the whole time. Cas’ eyes widened as he slowly lifted his arm up and wiped – what had almost finished drying – Dean’s cum off his face. “Dean.. you little fucking piece of..” He punched him in the shoulder, not playfully, and actually pretty hard.

“Alright ya idjits, calm down.” Bobby said from the end of the table.

Dean looked at Cas with a pout as he rubbed his injured shoulder.

“What? I didn’t notice until just now!”

“I know you’re lying face, Dean. And that. Is your lying face.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dean looked at Cas with a blank face and raised chin.

 Cas leaned back in his seat and crossed him arms. “I’m not hungry anymore.” Cas pouted. Dean grabbed Cas’ plate and went into the kitchen to rinse it off, along with his own plate.

“Dean, we have been dating for five years. You think I don’t know when you’re lying?” He asked as Dean walked back in the kitchen. Sam and Jess were giggling off at the other end of the table, trying to hold themselves together. Dean leaned in and stole a quick kiss. “Yeah.” He replied and sat down next to Cas again, but with a timid and cautious look. He’d rather not get punched again.

“Humph.”

And then Sam and Jess had had enough because they were laughing out loud now, a long session of laughing that made Cas blush, a long session of laughing that Sam and Jess had been holding in for the past ten minutes.

Dean smiled along with them, holding his own laughs back. Which lasted for about five seconds before he let out a belly laugh, throwing his head back.

Bobby and Cas were the only ones with straight faces. “Idjits..” He muttered to himself before taking a swig of his beer, smiling into his drink. Cas sighed, face flushed red until they all stopped laughing. “Dean, I am going to kill you.” He teased through a smile that he finally let free across his lips.

“I’d like to see you try, angel.” Dean said with a wink and raised his glass of water before taking a drink from it. He leaned back on the couch and got comfortable, putting an arm around Cas. Cas chuckled, giving another punch, but this time playfully because it was on the same shoulder he had hit before and he didn’t want to hurt him too bad. But he still scooted closer to Dean aside from what previously happened.

Dean narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

He still kept his arm around Cas, though, so he wouldn’t have enough range of motion to punch him again. After another half hour, he sighed. “I still got jet lag. Cas, you comin’?” He asked as he got to his feet. Cas nodded, standing up and taking his hand, too tired to do what he planned to do to punish his fiancé. They walked upstairs and into their room, closing the door once they got in, laying down on the bed. “I hate you.” He teased, chuckling to himself.

Dean rolled his eyes with a grin. “You do? Then I guess I can do this—“ He lifted Cas into his arms bridal style and put him on the floor, then hurried and got into the bed. He threw a pillow down at Cas.

“Oh, you lit-“ Cas said as he was hit by the pillow. He quickly grabbed it and threw it back at him, eyes narrowed. Dean grabbed the pillow from the air easily. “Hey, you little kid, I’m trying to go to sleep.” He scolded and rolled over so his back was to his fiancé. He cuddled with the pillow instead. Cas’ eyes went to their normal state.

He sat down on top of Dean’s waist, legs on either side of his body, Cas leaning down so his was on the back of his shoulder. **_“Big boy.”_** He whispered into Dean’s ear, a smile lining his lips. Dean flipped Cas over so they were laying face to face. He smirked.

“Yeah, I am, so you should watch what you say. I’m pretty big and strong, and I’ll overpower you.” He said smugly. “Yeah.. well.. I have.. blue eyes! I will destroy you with my gaze!” He was acting like a five-old but it was adorable and there was a big, wide grin on his face now.

But it was true how overpowering and overwhelming his gaze was. His eyes were just so utterly _blue._

Dean quickly put his hand over Cas’ eyes. “Easy.” He scoffed. “I just don’t look at ‘em and I’m good to go.” He chuckled back and kissed Cas real quick. “That’s not fair..” He muttered, sniffling, pretending to cry. He gave up after a bit and sighed, giving Dean another quick peck on the lips. “ **Life’s not fair.”** Dean said simply. Then grinned and rolled over, away from Cas once more. He had brought the pillow, too, and snuggled up with it.

Cas smiled, cuddling up against Dean’s shoulder. “I’m going to sleep.” Cas sighed, closing his eyes. “It would be two in the morning in Paris..” Cas mumbled sleepily, wrapping his arms around Dean. “Hey, sometimes we stay up that late because of.. stuff.” Dean commented, eyes still shut. Though he wiggled back so his body was flush with Cas’ chest.  “Love you, Cas.” He murmured tiredly. “Love you too, Dean.”

Cas scooted upwards a bit so his chin was on top of Dean’s head, to which he placed a firm kiss on top of, then let his nose rest in his mess of blonde hair. The two fell asleep soon after that.

 

* * *

 

**Dean was tying his shoe a few days later.**

Cas had refused any and all sex the past three days, and threatened to extend it to a week after they got back home if Dean masturbated. So now he was getting ready to go with Cas to the pet store for fun.

Cas stood in front of Dean, having already tied his shoes and thrown on his tan trench coat. He smirked at an idea, his hand suddenly taking the back of Dean’s hand in his hand and guided it towards his crotch.

Dean was very surprised at having Cas shove his face towards Cas’ dick area. “Cas.. stop. Stop – pulling my face towards your CROTCH..” He said, trying to push Cas’ hands away from his face. Cas continued what he was doing, unbuckling his pants with his free hand. He was stronger than he looked, but Dean was resisting as much as he could, so it was a little hard to keep his head where he wanted it to be. “You do this and we can have sex when we get home.”

Dean instantly yanked Cas’ pants and boxers down, mouth latching onto Cas’ cock. He was practically a vacuum as he started to suc k and bob onto it with some sultry moans coming from his throat.

“Fucking hell..” Cas moaned, guiding Dean’s head up and down his length. “Knew that would get you to suck my cock.. knew you were hungry for it..” He groaned, throwing his head back in pleasure. Dean made a small whimper in agreement. He curled his index finger and thumb around the base of Cas’ dick and used the other fingers to rub his balls to add pleasure. His other hand gripped Cas’ shirt tight.

“Fuck” and “Dean” were the only words that fell from his lips, and aside from that, it was throaty moans and gasps as his length touched the back of Dean’s throat. He let out a pleasured sigh, fingers tightening in Dean’s hair, a bit rougher than usual, but it wasn’t met to hurt him.

After a few minutes, Dean looked up at Cas with pleading eyes and made a mewling sound. He wanted to taste all of Cas, and not having sex for a few days was driving him crazy. It made him crave Cas in every way possible.

“I should do this more often..” He smirked, though he was about to come soon. “Not have sex with you for a few days and make you so hungry for it..” He suggested, looking down at Dean with a side smirk. “Would you like that? Hm?” Dean furrowed his brow and glared up at Cas, but kept sucking and pulling with his throat, not pulling away to retort. It was true, though. It drove him wild.

“If you gotta breathe, breath.. don’t wanna hurt you, Dean..” He sighed, letting out a throaty moans, about to come all over Dean.

Dean made a show of breathing through his nose loudly. He kept his glare up at Cas, keeping a quick, steady rhythm of blowing his fiancé – sucking, tugging, licking, doing all kinds of good stuff to get Cas off.

Finally, Cas pulled out of Dean’s mouth right as he came, sperm all over Dean’s forehead, nose, cheeks, and just everywhere. “Fuck..” He said under his breath, staring down at his messy Dean with a grin.

Dean still had his eyes shut, cum dripping onto his eyelids slowly. He licked his lips so it wouldn’t get everywhere when he finally spoke. “Awesome.” He said in monotone, and sat back on his heels for a moment as he collected his thoughts. Cas smirked, pulling up his boxers and pants, wiping some of his cum off of Dean’s face with his thumb.

One of Dean’s eyes were freed so he opened it to glare at Cas again. He only gave Cas’ finger a lick before spitting it out and standing up. He walked to the door and listened for a moment. Hearing that everyone was downstairs, he walked to the bathroom and started to wash his face.

Cas groaned as he Dean walked off and he put his belt back on, buckling it then placed his wallet in his back pocket.

“Dean, you ready?” He called from their bedroom, taking a second to compose himself.

Dean waited a moment before replying.

“Yeah.” He said after drying his face with a hand towel. He walked through the hall to their room and grabbed the keys of their ’74 Chevy Nova off the nightstand. Cas took Dean’s hand, walking downstairs and telling Bobby where they were going then walked out to the car. They got in and immediately turned on the heater, Cas rubbing his arms to try and get warm. Dean remained pouty and grumpy through the whole ride. When he parked, he changed the gears a bit rougher than his usual stiffness.

“What exactly are you getting in here?” He asked as he opened the door to the store.

“Some toys for Ebony, and aside from that, I just wanted to see some animals.” He shrugged. “There’s lots of different animals here. Not just dogs, cats, and fish, y’know.” He shrugged again as he looked around.

Dean sighed as he followed close behind Cas.

“We can’t get any big things. They won’t fit on the plane back.” He warned as he tapped the glass holding an odd looking cat. He made a face and leaned in close. “I think this son of a bitch is dead… no, it just breathed. Never mind.” Cas chuckled at Dean’s comment before he was running off like a kid in a candy store as he looked for fun animals. He found some cool toys for Ebony, but after that, it was all fun and happiness.

“Dean.” He said with wide eyes behind his fiancé after only ten minutes of looking around.

Dean was watching the ferrets climb all over each other when Cas said his name. He raised a brow of curiosity. “Yeah, what?” He said a bit distractedly.

Cas had a baby monkey against his chest, a hamster on his shoulder, a puppy in his left hand, and a kitten in his right. “Dean.” Cas said again, wanting to laugh hysterically, but if he did, the animals would probably jump off of him.

Dean’s face went blank and he stared at Cas with equally blank, dropping eyes. “Cas. What the hell?” He said monotonously. “We can’t get all of them..” He sighed and reached a finger out and scratched the puppy’s ear. “But they’re so cute..” He looked down at the monkey and smiled. “I want the monkey. We’re getting the monkey.” He pouted, putting the hamster back considering they were already in the rodent section of the store.

“Cas, is it even legal to transport..  a monkey.. internationally?” Dean sighed, putting his finger and thumb on his temple, hiding his face with his palm as he thought. He was probably going to end up buying the monkey for Cas.

“Of course it’s legal. Y’know.. If we get a license and buy it.. we have another two weeks in the US, so..” He gave a shrug, someone coming over and getting the kitten and puppy and putting them back in their cages. “I just.. it’s just.. it’s so cute.”

Dean sighed again and finally looked back at Cas. “Fine, we’ll get your damn monkey.” Dean said, caving in his fiancé’s pleading look. “Though you’re figuring out how to get the license.” Cas gave Dean a quick peck on the lips. “Thanks. There are only girl monkeys here..” He said, looking down at the baby monkey that was latched onto his chest. “Good. It won’t go pee on everything.” Dean said, softening a bit at Cas’ excited affection.

“Are we able to buy it now?” He asked, reaching for his wallet in his back pocket. “Yes. They’re on sale. It would have been her last day if not for us.” Cas smiled, the monkey wrapping it’s arms around Cas’ neck. “I can go get food and stuff. I’ll be back.”

He appeared back another ten minutes later with food and a toy or two. “I’ll pay for some of it.” Cas added, taking out his own wallet. Dean smiled softly at Cas as they approached the counter. “One monkey and.. those things.” He gave the toy a weird look before smiling at the cashier and tapping on the fold of his wallet on the counter.

“Not many people come in here and walk out with a monkey.” The cashier said but took Dean and Cas’ money, putting the toy food into a bag and handing it to them. “We have a monkey.. sort of.” Cas said as they walked, the girl monkey wrapped around his torso. “I’ve noticed.” Dean said with a little sarcastic smile. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the monkey, hell, it was almost as cute as Cas, he was just nervous about taking care of it and raising it.

Cas stepped into the car and pulled the monkey off his chest, staring at its blank face. “What should we name her?” He asked, thinking on the question. Dean drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “How about Elena? It kinda just popped into my head.” He suggested with a shrug.”Elena.. okay.” Cas smiled, then turned to Dean.  “Anywhere else you want to go?” Dean asked. “No. Not really.” He placed Elena in his lap and smirked, their new monkey biting playfully on his finger.

“You’re so cute. Yes, you are, yes, you are.” He said in a little baby voice down to Elena.

“I’m not sure how Bobby is going to react to this whole monkey thing. And I’m not very comfortable with having sex with her in the room.” Dean informed before they walked back inside Bobby’s house.

“We have a monkey.” Cas announced as he walked in, Elena strapped to his torso.

“You _what?_ ” Said Bobby from the kitchen, putting his newspaper down, turning in his seat to see that they weren’t lying. Dean shook his head. “He wanted a monkey.” He said simply, like that solved everything. And it pretty much did, since he did anything Cas asked of him.

Sam and Jess had walked over, eyes wide. “Yes, I wanted a monkey. Her name is Elena.” Cas have a quick smile and carefully put her into a cradle with his arms. Dean went and sat down, his head in his hands. “I am so whipped.” He sighed, shaking his head again. It was Cas who made most of the decisions, and he didn’t mind skipping along with them.

“Can I hold her?” Jess asked, holding her arms out in question. “Of course.” He put the monkey into her arms and smiled, Sam coming up and wrapping his arms around her waist.

Dena stood silently so he wouldn’t distract the others. He went upstairs to their room and started to take his shoes and jacket off, then flopped back onto the bed.

_Man, I’m bored._

He’d already checking the TV to see if anything good was on, but there hadn’t been.

Cas quickly scooped Elena out of Jess’ arms when he saw Dean walk upstairs, and so he too, walked upstairs. “Don’t you wanna hold her?” He questioned, holding the baby monkey at as he walked in and shut the door with his foot. Dean smiled softly at the monkey and lifted his arms to take her from Cas. She wrapped her tail around his bicep and climbed up onto his shoulder. She started picking at his blonde hair, which made Dean chuckle. “Kinda tickles.”

Cas smiled, going and sitting next to Dean. Elena was making some pretty adorable monkey sounds, and not to be stereotypical, but they were actually in the range of “ooh ooh” and “ah ah”. “We don’t have to keep her if you don’t want to.” Cas said with a sigh. “If she’s too much within the first month, we can take her back and get a full refund.” “We can give her back if you don’t think we can handle her. I said okay to her, so I’m not gonna take her away.” Dean said, and took Cas’ hand in his.

“But I’m serious about the whole sex thing. I don’t want to taint her mind.”

Cas chuckled as Elena jumped off Dean’s shoulder and onto the dresser. “If she’s too much to handle tomorrow, we can give her back. For now, I think Elena wants to go see Jessica.” Cas stated, picking up their monkey and taking her downstairs. A couple minutes later and he was back upstairs with no monkey, once again closing the door behind him.

Dean had hummed in agreement to the deal, then smiled after the two as Cas carried Elena away. Once Cas’ back had disappeared from view, Dean let out a relaxed sigh and flipped his back onto the bed. Cas came over and sat on top of him so he was straddling him, lips spreading into a cocky smile. “You think I forgot about you letting me walk out of the room with your cum on my face?”

Dean’s eyes went from comfortably dropping to wide open and surprised. “I thought you already got me back earlier?” He asked in a not-so-manly tone.

“No way.” Cas smirked, leaning down and kissing him softly, grabbing a tie that he had snatched from downstairs and quickly tying Dean’s hands to the headboard. “Whoops.”

Dean looked up at the tie in confusion. “Cas, I can alwaus break it.” Cas had accidentally grabbed a tie that Dean knew wasn’t of much importance. It was cheap. “Plus, you won’t be able to take my shirt off.” He lifted his head to give a flirty grin at Cas. Cas just sighed at his first comment. “Either you break out of this one and I find the most expensive tie.. or you stay like this.” Then said “Oh really?” To his second comment, smirking as he grabbed the collar of Dean’s shirt, ripping the fabric in half, off of his body.

Dean frowned at his shirt. “You’re getting me a new one.” He stated. It was only an old, black tee that he usually wore when he worked on his baby. “But I’m still stronger than you.” He winked, then made himself comfortable on the bed. “Fine, fine.” Cas caved, leaning down and placing a few hot kisses on his chest. “Love you, Dean, but you gotta learn not to do somethin’ like that.” He said into his abdomen.

“Oh, I already have. I just wanted to not tell you.” Dean answered plainly with a “oops?”/”oh darn” pull of his lips. He pretended not to feel the little tremors Cas’ kisses were sending through his stomach.

Cas continued the kisses on his stomach and lower abdomen, teasing him as much as he could. Soon, Dean’s pants were off and across the room, along with his boxers. “You think you can come without having your dick touched?” Cas said, his chin perched on his chest. Dean didn’t seem very effected by Cas’ touches. “Maybe. That is, if I come at all.” He said with a little smirk. He wanted to see how long he could resist Cas and his arousing touches and words.

Cas smirked, putting his hands on Dean’s waist, lips touching along the ‘V’ that was ther just before continuing down. His lips found the inside of Dean’s thigh, making sure to lick and bite just enough before gliding downwards again. Dean’s legs twitched, along with his dick. His face remained neutral, though, and the rest of his body was still relaxed.

“Y’know, you’re going to give up eventually, and just fuck me. Whether you ride me or not, I don’t know yet.” He stated. “Mhm. I know.” Cas said in reply, stopping at Dean’s feet. He didn’t know if that was something Dean liked or not, so he decided to just pause at his ankles then go back up to his face. “Well, if I rode you, then your dick would be inside me, touching me, so.. I guess that only leaves fucking you.” He purred against Dean’s lips then kissed the corner of his mouth.

Dean’s arms moved against the tie when he tried to pull Cas’ face back down to kiss him more. But instead, he had to just roll his eyes as Cas took control again.

Cas was off of Dean before his fiancé knew it. He was taking his clothes off now, making sure it was as sexual as possible, and when each piece of clothing was off, he glided back on top of Dean, hands on either side of his head.

Dean stared at the ceiling instead of Cas. He wasn’t strong enough to hold out if he watched Cas strip. When Cas was on top of him again, he smirked. “What’s up?” He asked innocently. Cas chuckled, staring down at his fiancé with hooded eyes. He was sat back so he was in between Dean’s legs, on his knees, placing his fiancé’s legs on his shoulders. “Gonna hurt at first..” He said, slicking up his dick with only precum before slowly sliding in with no preparation or even lube. Like this, it would only pull Dean’s orgasm out even longer.

Dean winced, resisting the urge to pull away from Cas. “Fuck.” He hissed quietly between his teeth, pulling his lip in, too. He looked down to watch Cas as he moved inside of Dean.

Cas leaned forward and kissed Dean softly against the lips to help distract him from the burn of going in dry. “Do you want me to stop?” Dean shook his head and tried to relax some. He focused on loosening up so he could take Cas without as much pain. He let out a little moan when he finally got used to it and felt the pleasure instead.

It had only been a couple minutes until Dean let out a small moan, but Cas had been patient. He took that as a request to slowly push in some more, making sure not to hurt his lover. “Don’t wanna hurt you..” Cas moaned, feeling the tightness of his fiancé’s ass, so it was a little hard not to ram into him, but he managed to hold back.

“Just give it a little bit.” Dean mumbled. “It’ll slick up on its own.” He took a deep breath and rested his forehead against his arm as he looked at nothing in specific, too wrapped up in the feeling of Cas inside him. Cas nodded, kissing Dean’s neck, once again to distact him. “Love you, Dean..” He breathed, the kisses adding to the amount of pleasure that made the pain of Cas inside of Dean subside just a little more.

Dean moaned again, a bit louder than the last one. “Love you, too, Cas.” He panted, turned his head to give Cas more access to his neck. “Fuck, just move already..” He whimpered. Cas nodded and slowly began to push in again so he was all the way inside of Dean, balls touching Dean’s ass. He stayed like that, making sure to stay away from Dean’s cock as much as he could. It was right there in front of him, and hard not to go down on, but he continued to hold himself back.

Dean was panting through his nose, trying not to moan loudly. He let out a sot “fuck” though. His head was rolling around from the pleasurable pain Cas was sending through him. “Do you want more?” He questioned, shifting just a bit for his own pleasurable sake. He moaned a bit, loosening the grip that was on Dean’s waist so he could get more comfortable if he needed to. Dean was nodding his head quickly. “Yes, yes, Cas, yes..” He rambled quietly. _This punishment ain’t so bad._ He thought to himself.

Cas was nodding again, beginning to move. He was going slow, though, not because he wanted to tease him, but because he knew if he went too fast, it would hurt Dean like hell. His thrusts were speeding up though, as he heard his fiancé moan even more.

Dean did his best to meet Cas’ thrusts wit his own, though it was a little difficult since his legs were wrapped around Cas’ neck. He was groaning words through his teeth so he wouldn’t bite his tongue, but none were coherent enough to understand.

Cas began to thrust fast, about his usual speed when they were making love and not fucking like this. “Fuck, you’re tight..” He moaned as he began to hit Dean’s prostate. Dean felt himself about to come, completely untouched. He bit the inside of his cheek to help resist the urge. He knew it wouldn’t last long though, because he was too riled up from Cas’ little touches earlier and not having sex for a few days.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Cas asked, thrusts speeding to the fastest he wanted to go at. “You wanna come in my hand? Hm?” He finished his hands dangerously close to Dean’s cock, but still, so far. Dean wanted to bat Ca’s hands away, but his own we’re still tie up. So instead, he growled. There were supposed to be words in it, but it only sounded feral as he tugged on the tie.

Cas growled huskily back, bringing his hand up and beginning to stroke his lover to climax.

And now, Dean **_REALLY_** needed to come. He was whimpered and growling at random intervals, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to outlast Cas just to spite the “punishment”.

“Come on.. come for me..” Cs moaned, about to come himself. Which he did. His cum spurted out inside of Dean, but he didn’t cease his hip movements so he could get Dean to orgasm, as well.

Dean lifted his head  to give a fiery glare back  at Cas. But he let it drop back down, because all his energy was concentrated on preventing his orgasm. “Dean.. come on..” Cas groaned, about to just stop and not let him come at all. He could tell Dean was trying not to come – to rebel against him – but clearly, he wasn’t going to say anything about it.

Though, Dean still took a few moments to get back at Cas. But, eventually, he caved and came, hard, into Cas’ hand and onto  his own stomach. “Fuck you, Cas.” He whined, but didn’t mean a word. “Humph.” Cas said, licking the cum off his hand the pulling out of Dean. “Love you, too.” He teased, leaning up and kissing him, removing the tie and setting it aside. Dean pulled his hands back to his sighed and removed his legs from Cas’ shoulders. “Yeah, yeah.” He sighed as he massaged his wrists and biceps.

Cas smirked, standing and putting on his boxers he had been wearing earlier and then pulled on one of Dean’s shirts. “Did you like that?” He asked into Dean’s neck after plopping down beside him. Dean gave Cas another grumpy glare and rolled onto his side, facing away from Cas. That was proof enough that he did, indeed, enjoy it. If he hadn’t, he would’ve said so in the beginning. Cas grinned behind him, turning over so his back was facing Dean’s back. “Fine. Two can play that game.” He chuckled, pulling the covers up so they were draped over both men.

Dean bit back a smile as he yanked the covers away from Cas and bundled them around himself. Once he had a corner cuddled in his arms, he let his smile show on one corner of his mouth.

Cas gasped, ripping the covers back over to his side of the bed and rolling over so he was lying on top of them. This made it so if Dean wanted the covers, he’d have to pull Cas with him.

Dean turned over as well and drug the cover back towards him, Cas in tow. Once Cas’ back was against his chest, he wrapped his arms around his fiancé and pulled him even closer with a smug smile. Cas smiled, the warmth of Dean coming over him as he was wrapped in his arms. “I love you.” He purred, tilting his head back so he could kiss Dean. Dean grinned as he kissed Cas some more. “Endlessly.” He finished, then started giving Cas’ face smothering kisses, holding him still with hands on either side of his face.

“You’ll never escape me.”

“What if I don’t wanna escape?” He teased, smiling as his fiancé lathered his face with kisses. He stared at Dean, eyes wide, a content smile on his face.

Eventually, Dean tucked Cas’ head under his chin and stroked the black hair with it. “Good. ‘Cause I won’t let you.” He said with a happy sigh, tracing Cas’ shoulder muscles with the pads of his fingers. Cas chuckled, pressing up against Dean as much as he could. “I miss Ebony. I hope the shelter is taking care of her while we’re gone..” He muttered sleepily. “I’m sure she’s fine. Balthazar is a pretty good pet sitter. Even if he’s a douche sometimes.”  Dean chuckled and kissed the top of his head.

“Go to sleep, angel.”

Cas smiled at Dean’s reassuring words, closing his eyes.

Soon, he was asleep, wrapping in Dean’s muscled arms, snoring peacefully against his chest. He didn’t know if Dean was going to sleep, too, but he didn’t question it.

But, Dean did stay awake.

He thought about their future.

It was going to be beautiful.

Though, he wouldn’t admit that he would _ever_ use that girly word. With thoughts of exploring Alaska, Dean drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


	19. Before

**Dean and Cas were sitting at the local bar the next day, playing pool with each other, a beer on the table beside them**

They were just passing some time. That was really the only reason why they were there.

Dean was getting grumpy.

This was the first time Cas had played pool, and yet he was totally whooping Dena’s ass.

“I don’t want to play anymore.” Dean said right before he would completely lose. He crossed his arms and leaned his rear against the pool table. Castiel laughed, slapping Dean’s chest playfully before walking off and putting the pool sticks onto the rack.

“Faggots..” Said someone who was sitting at the bar next to someone, not facing them. Cas couldn’t tell who the men were, but he was still almost instantly outraged.

Dean gave a little “this again?” sigh. He turned to look at whoever it was and smirked. “Well, If it isn’t Raphael and _Luficer._ ” Everyone had called Lucas Lucifer in high school. Dean chuckled darkly, stranding straight. He was still taller than the brothers, and by the looks of the redneck beer guts, he was stronger, too. “Ready for round two, are you?”

Cas had been standing off to the side, not knowing what to do.

Raphael and Lucas nodded. “Been what.. nine years?” Lucas said and chuckled. “Yep, nine years.” Raphael agreed, standing in front of Dean. “You think you can go up against two grown men? We were teens back then.” Lucas said, then Raphael was throwing the first punch. Dean used his forearm to block it, but another fist went into his gut. Dean kneeled over and received a punch to the face while he was distracted by the pain.

In the meantime, Cas’ eyes were widened as he watched Dean get beat up, Raphael eventually walking over to him while he, too, was distracted, and threw a punch to the side of his head. Cas countered and kicked him in the groin, which made him bend over, so Cas took the chance to punch him in the stomach.

Dean was on the ground now, using his arms to block kicks to his head. He saw Cas beating up Raphael and felt a bit of pride, as well as anger that he wasn’t able to protect his fiancé. He attempted to get back up, but got a swift kick to his side.

While Raphael was stunned from the pain,  Cas grabbed an empty beer bottle and held it in the air. “Hey!” He started. He was never good at insults so he improvised. “ ** _Assbutt!_** ” He finished, throwing the beet bottle at Lucas and hitting head on. On his head.

While Lucas was knocked down, Dean popped back up and kicked him in the side, and Raphael had thrown another few punches to Cas’ face and a few kicks to his back, but was off of Cas when he heard the beer bottle smash. Raphael looked up at Cas with new rage. “Did you just throw a beer bottle at my brother?” He snarled. “Pffft.. nooo..” Cas lied, but Dean came up and knocked him out with a punch to the face. “Yeah. He did.” He panted in reply, then turned to flutter over Cas’ injuries.

“Fuck, I’m gonna have bruises everywhere.. are there any on my face?” Cas asked, which there were. “Nah, Dean lied, “you’re golden.” He fixed up Cas’ collar and straightened his black hair a bit. “Let’s just go home, yeah?” He asked, leading Cas outside carefully, a limp in both their steps. Cas nodded and walked out, the two helping each other to the car.

“You okay?” Cas asked as they sat down and Dean started the car.

“I’ve been better.” He sighed, driving back to Bobby’s. They stumbled inside to see they had the house to themselves. “I’ll go start a bath.” Dean added, heading to the bathroom. Cas nodded at that, looking a bit dazed as he walked over to the couch and plopped himself down, muscles sore from what happened at the bar. He turned on some slow music and put the volume at the highest setting, the sound radiating through the house.

Dean smiled as he listened, and made a detour through the kitchen to grab candles and a lighter. He set them all up around the bathroom and lit them after adding bubbles to the hot bath water. Once it was filled, he called Cas in and turned all the lights off. Cas groaned, but still slowly walked up the stairs, almost tripping a couple times, shedding his clothes as he walked. He was only his boxers by the time he opened the door and stared.

“Dean..” He said in awe, taking a moment to look at it all.

Dean smiled down at Cas. “It’ll help you relax.” He said with a shrug. He pulled his own shirt over his head, then pushed his pants and boxers down. He gently peeled Cas’ off and gave his forehead a little kiss. “C’mon.” He said and helped Cas step into the tub. Cas gave a warm smile, sitting in front of Dean in the warm water. He let out a gasp as he felt the water his body, muscles immediately relaxing. “Dean..” He said, staring across the tub and into his fiancé’s eyes.

“Hmm?” Dean said, too blessed out to form real words at the moment. He had a cat-like smile on his face as he let the hot water and the scent of the bubbles sink into him. Cas leant his head back over the edge of the tub, his arms along the white polished edge. “Jesus, this feels good..” Cas muttered, taking it all in.

Dean lifted his leg up and ran his big toe over Cas’ side. “C’mere.” He purred happily, opening his arms and reaching a hand out to his fiancé, wanting him in his arms. Incidentally, he’d be right up on Dean’s dick, but Dean knew that were both too tired to get it up.

Cas carefully scooted over and sat down in his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. He was sitting so their dicks rubbed against each other’s. It wasn’t the amount of pleasure that would go into an orgasm, though, so neither of them really minded it. He buried his head in the crook of Dean’s neck, kissing it softly.

In the meantime, Dean grabbed a bath sponge and lathered it with soap. He dipped it into the water and softly washed Cas’ bruised back. “Gonna fix you up.” He murmured, then kissed Cas’ temple lovingly, which made Cas smile and lift his head out of his neck, only to rest his chin on top of his head. He let out the occasional sigh or moan from the warmth of the water and the pleasure of the sponge against his back.

Dean placed little kisses on Cas’ shoulder or neck when he washed over a bruise. Once he finished the back, he started bathing Cas’ front. As he washed it, he stared up at his fiancé with love in his eyes. Cas looked down at him, the feeling of everything around him oh-so heavenly, especially as he brushed over his nipples but he make any noises aside from a small gasp. “Dean..” He said down to him, the flames of the candles reflecting beautifully off his blue eyes.

Dean smiled again as he washed lower down Cas’ abdomen, closer to his sensitive skin. He used his own hand to bring Cas’ up to cheek and nuzzle into it. Cas let out a sigh and nodded, one free hand holding onto Dean’s shoulders for support. “I don’t know where assbutt came from, but I guess it works.” He chuckled, hand on his shoulder moving through Dean’s hair.

Dean chuckled quietly. “Assbutt?” He asked as he finally got the sponge over Cas’ dick. He curled the sponge over it and stroked it a few times more than necessary before he cleaned off Cas’ legs. Cas’ grip in Dean’s hair tightened until the touch on his dick was gone. “Yes.. Assbutt. Didn’t you hear me?” He questioned softly with a little sigh, taking another couple moments to relish in how good the warm water felt.

“I was a little busy.” Dean said with a grin and decided that Ca’s dick was still dirty, and started to wash it again once he put more hot water into the sponge. He pulled Cas’ chin down to start kissing him. The blue-eyed man moaned into the kiss, gripping his hair lightly once again, bucking his hips just slightly into the touch.

“I saved you, Dean Winchester.” He smirked. “Dean Winchester has been saved.” He said to himself with a soft little chuckle before going back to gasping and moaning. It was strange how the situation varied how his moans came out. Normally, he’d be moaning like crazy, but now they were just little sighs of pleasure even though it was equally as blissful as anything else.

“My angel.” Dean purred, and traded the sponge for his hand. He wanted to help Cas forget about the pain and relax fully. He didn’t even care about himself at the moment, to which point his own cock was laying limp between them. Cas moaned again, pressing his forehead against Dean, eyes closed. “Dean..” He whimpered, lips parting. Dean closed his eyes as well and placed little kisses onto Cas’ lips, keeping his hand’s pace slow.

He made sure to touch ever inch of skin along Ca’s shaft, and curled his thumb over the head.

Cas continued with his moans and gasps, the mixture of the pleasure of warm water and Dean touching him almost too much.

“Gonna come..” He moaned into Dean’s lips, wanting to just let go.

“Go ahead, Cas.” Dean murmured. “We’re done getting washed up, anyways. And we can show later.” He added. “My guardian angel should be able to be rewarded.” He sucked a kiss and nibble onto Cas’ neck. Cas nodded at that, coming soon after he spoke, the ropes of white liquid spurting out into the water. “Dean.. love you so much..” He cooed, kneading his hands slowly through Dean’s hair. “Let’s get out of here before we get sticky again.” He said, patting the side of Cas’ legs.

Cas stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his lower half, hair a little wet but not by much. He helped Dean blow out the candles.

He was feeling much better – as if they’d never had that fight with Raphael and Lucas.

Dean had gotten out after Cas and just wiped the water off himself, then returned the towel to the rack. He gave a cocky grin to Cas as he walked across the hall to their room in the buff with his head held high. Cas had watched Dean walk around, staring directly at his fiancé’s length the entire time. “Dean.” Was all he said as he met him in their bedroom, giving a sigh. “I look at you and every time, you just seem.. what’s the word.. _bigger._ ” He teased, leaning in for a quick kiss.

Dena pecked him twice on the lips then started to dig through the drawer for a new pair of underwear. “Only for you, baby.” He snickered with a wink towards Cas, who had smirked and pecked him on the cheek before he, too, was throwing on some boxers.

Cas came up behind Dean and wrapped his arms around his chest, pressing his nose in between his shoulder blades.

“I love you.” He said again, kissing the skin that lay in front of his lips.

Dean turned his head to smile at Cas and rested his hand on his fiancé’s.

“Endlessly.” He said with warmth and endearment. “Though, I’m so going to beat your ass at the next pool game.”

Cas chuckled, his hands moved down his stomach and into the waistband of his boxers, but not going much further. He was just doing it to tease him. He was too tired to do much so he didn’t continue. He only brought his hands back up ruffled his hair before walking off and plopping down backwards on the bed.

“You tease.” Dean sighed, but he didn’t care much. He followed Cas to the bed and climbed on top of him. After pecking him again, Dean rolled over, pulling Cas with him. Cas smiled, going as close to him as he could, like he did every night with him.

 **“What are we going to do with each other when we’re eight and sitting in a retirement home together? Hm?”** He teased, thinking to what that would be like. **“I probably wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you, still.”** Dean replied as he wrapped Cas up in the blankets in his arms. “And I’d still be fussing over your little bruises.” He sighed and stroked Cas’ purplish cheek with the back of a knuckle.

Cas smiled softly, staring into Dean’s amazingly green eyes. “Christmas is in two day.” He smiled, thinking back to their first Christmas nine years ago.

He chuckled at the thought.

Dean groaned at Cas. “Oh, come on. Good thing I’m too tired to get it up.” He huffed, though he kind of wished he could. “Let’s just get some sleep. I just hope we aren’t so sore in the morning.” Cas smirked, leaning in and kissing him softly against the lips. “I love you.” He said into his lips. “May only death do us part.” He breathed, pressing his forehead against Dean’s. “Eternally.” Dean finished, changing it up a bit.

“I’ll add that to my ring once we’re finally hitched.” He said, shutting his eyes and gave a relaxed sigh, slowly staring to head into unconsciousness. Cas smiled, kissing him softly once again, letting himself fall asleep wrapped in his arms like he always did.

Like he always loved to do.


	20. During

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Here With Me - Susie Suh  
> Now Playing: Transatlanticism - Death Cab For Cutie  
> Now Playing: Asleep - The Smiths  
> Now Playing: Timeless - The Airborne Toxic Event  
> Now Playing: Handful Of Balloons - Cannonfield

**Cas decided he didn’t want to go to breakfast at the diner the next day.**

He ended up going to the grocery store and buying what he needed to make a couple pies for his Christmas the next day.

Dean was walking around town, window shopping for anything Cas might like for Christmas. So far, he hadn’t found anything good enough for him.

Cas got what he needed then walked over to the check-out area and bought everything. A man in the other aisle was harassing the young lady that was bagging his food. “Hey! Calm it down, man.” Cas said to him from his aisle.

Dean sighed in frustration. Nothing was perfect. But then he had an awesome idea. So, he went into the tattoo parlor and approached the desk, telling the lady behind it what he wanted.

The man immediately turned around.

Cas’ eyes widened.

His fists tightened around the bags in his hands.

His **dad** laughed.

“Nice seeing you here, son. How about we talk outside?” Was his father’s incredibly calm response, but his words were slurred, and he was drunk.

Dean had asked for a black feather tattooed onto his right shoulder. Even though he called Cas his angel only a handful of times, he realized how true it was. Cas had brought him out of hell all those years ago.

Meanwhile, Cas’ father took him outside, the blue-eyed man’s teeth gritted in anger. The area where they were standing was in between two cars, the men unable to be seen by anyone coming out of the store. “Why the fuck did you bri-“

He couldn’t finish his sentence.

His father punched him in the face.

“You’re the reason your mother left us, faggot!” He exclaimed to his son,  punching him once again.

Cas didn’t have the time to say anything because he was being pushed into the car. “You’re going to tell me where you’re staying and you’re gonna grab your things.” His father said as he drove incredibly fast, but sadly, there weren’t any cops on the road. They reached Bobby’s house and Cas walked in, holding in the tears as he walked up the stairs.

His father waited for him at the bottom of the stairs. After all, everyone was either at the diner or buying presents, so no one was there.

So Cas grabbed his bag and put all his clothes in it, making sure to grab a few of Dean’s shirts then took as many pictures he had of the two and stuffed them into the bag as well. Cas always insisted on taking all their pictures with them, and their camera, so there had to  have been more than a hundred.

Though, one of them he left and took a pen out to write on it.

_I love you. Don’t think I left you. Have a wonderful Christmas. – Cas._

He hurried downstairs after doing so.

He didn’t risk talking to his dad.

He just went along with it.

There was no way he could escape this.

Besides, his dad had found a knife from the kitchen while he was grabbing clothes.

His father pushed him back into the car roughly once again, slamming the door shut and heading to the front soon. Soon, he was driving out of Lawrence and into the countryside.

After two hours of sitting with a needle to his shoulder, Dean was finally home. He greeted everyone, then went upstairs to find Cas. He knew something was wrong instantly. The drawers were open, and pictures were gone. But only one was left and Dean’s heart was beating fast already and he didn’t want to read it but he did because he knew it was important and now his heart was pounding because he was reading it.

“No.. Cas.. no..” He breathed, letting the tears fall off his cheeks and onto the glass of the frame.

It was the one they had taken right after Dean proposed.

Cas cried softly to himself in the backseat of the car.

They were out of Kansas by now.

He didn’t know where they were going or why his father was doing this, but he didn’t say anything about it.

After another couple minutes, he decided to fall asleep.

It would be a long drive.

Dean grew angry.

Cas would never leave him without someone holding him at gunpoint, or knife and fist point, as it so happens.

He let out a raged filled grow and threw the drawer/closet. The glass of the frame shattered, and stopped him from destroying anything else. He slowly walked over to it and picked it back up.

Everyone came running upstairs at the sound of the closet falling over. “Dean, what the hell?!” Bobby asked, immediately softening his features at seeing Dean crying his eyes out.

“Someone got Cas.” Dean snuffled.

He continued picking up their fingers, brushing his thumb over Cas’ tearful, happy face.

Sam went over and hugged his brother. “He’ll come home. I promise.” He assured, but had no idea if that was true or not.

Dean leaned into his brother’s shoulder and sobbed. He knew that it wasn’t true. If it was Lucas and Raphael or Mr. Novak, Cas would never come back. He could call the cops, sure, but they would laugh.

They don't help the “homosexual faggots”.

Sam backed away from Dean, patting his shoulder.

Jess was standing in the corner, her nose and her hands in her hands, teary eyed. “He’ll come back.” Jess said, but her voice was muffled. She was wrong.

Christmas the next day wasn’t happy and full of laughing. They just kind of sat around the table, the room quiet and empty without as chatting up a storm.

Dean had a soulless look on his face the whole day.

And for the whole next year.

He returned to Paris after trying to find Cas on his own for three months. Even Ebony sensed something was off. He had left Elena in Jess and Sam’s care, too. He was just too busy to get that license.

Cas wasn’t allowed to leave the house.

He didn’t know where they were or what state they were in.

Days went by slow.

He had gotten hold of paper during the short amount of time that his father would go the store.

He took one of the pictures of him and Dean and ripped it in half, writing on the back of the half that had his face on it.

_I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby. I go to bed early and rise late but yet I feel as though I’ve hardly slept._

He wrote his father’s old address as the return address.

But in the other short amount of time that he was alone in the house, he would sneak the letter outside and the delivery man would send it to Paris. To Dean’s.

The day Dean got the letter, he sank to his knees and cried.  It was a picture of them and Elena. Ebony rubbed up on his leg, distracting him enough to look at the return address. “It’s your dad..” He realized. But he’d already checked there. He felt so useless.

Cas could only write a letter every so often, but tried to keep it on a schedule so that Dean knew when he’d get a letter. The next one was a picture of them hugging in front of the Eiffel Tower – the one he showed him in the hospital after he got in that accident.

_And even if we never talk again, please remember that I am forever changed by what you meant to me. I love you. I miss you. – Cas._

The letters kept coming.

They got worse over time.

They were less than okay no matter what, but after a while, they were just painful to read, but Dean still did read did it. He still read them. Just so he knew his angel’s heart was still beating.

They would get shorter, though. Sometimes they were one sentence.

Sometimes a paragraph.

From Castiel: _My mornings consist of avoiding human interaction. I love you. I miss you._

From Castiel: _I never realized how strong I was until being strong is the only thing I had left. I love you. I miss you._

From Castiel: _Though, sometimes, I think, perhaps, our eyes need to be washed by tears, just so we can see the world clearly again. Do you ever think that? I do. When I cry, I cry about you and how much my sudden absence must have hurt you. I love you. I miss you._

From Castiel: _I hope what we did together was all worth losing me._

From Castiel: _I exist in two places. Here, and where you are._

From Castiel: _I’ll be looking for you, with every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that noting and no one will ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you.. we’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see in sunbeams.. and when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t be able to take just one, they’ll have to take two, one of you, and one of me, we’ll be joined so tight._

From Castiel:  _I could fight this to the end, but maybe.. maybe I don't want to win._

From Castiel:  _Today, I realized that love can't fix everything. That's an unsettling thought._

From Castiel: _I’ve become a master at breaking my own heart. With simply thoughts, dreams, and hopes that are impossible to achieve. Things that I will never accomplish with you, places like Alaska that I will never go to and people like you that I will never see again. Because my mind holds me back so very much and it makes me sad and frustrated. I love you, still. I always will. Remember that, okay? Okay, Dean?_

And that was the first time Dean had heard Cas’ voice in his head and he couldn't believe it and he was crying so hard, like he did every time he got a letter from Cas.

The letters got much worse all of the sudden. The worse ones were always so, so heart-wrenching, and now, Dean didn’t want to read them anymore, but he still had to, because no matter what words were lined along those pages, he could still hear Cas’ voice in his head and that’s what made him keep going.

From Castiel:  _I miss how close we were. I love you, still._

From Castiel: _The days were better when we were together. Sometimes, I wonder why I exist, and I never thought that when I was with you. I don’t want to exist anymore._

Dean thought he wouldn’t get a letter after that, and he broke down even more that time.

From Castiel: _I will love you if I never see you again, Dean Winchester, my big boy._

From Castiel: _I think after experiencing this, the worst type of crying is when your lips start to shake and tears build up quickly and fall fast. And you’re bent over or crouched trying to suck it in and not make any noise but it hurts too much to hold it in so you yelp and cry then comes the loss of breath which sucks because you’re not only crying out loud, but you think you sound dumb for not breathing, too. It’s just a mess. I cry when I think of you and being your angel and how I won’t ever see you again and how much I messed up your life. I’m sorry. Forgive me._

A lot of the pages and pictures were wet with circular spots of tears, and that made Dean hurt and ache and want to cradle Cas in his arms but he wasn’t next to him and that made him hurt and ache and want Cas cradle him in his arms. But he wasn’t there.

From Castiel _: Have you ever felt like you don’t know what’s going on anymore? Like you don’t care about anything anymore? You’ve lost your motivations to eat, to sleep, to breathe, to do anything. And you’re confused about your feelings and you can’t explain how you feel. You have that feeling of emptiness, that feeling that no one is there for you. But I know you’re still there. And I get these feelings because of you not being next to me and it hurts and aches on the inside._

From Castiel _: If I killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the Earth would still rotate, the seasons would still change.. so why not?_

 

 

From Castiel: _I couldn’t do it. You wouldn’t want me to._

From Castiel: _The cold realization that I’m still here, breathing without you begins to settle in._

From Castiel:  _I imagine you singing me to sleep with that beautiful voice of yours. I can't fall asleep any other way; without you holding me. Though, I don't like waking up, because then I'll wake up and I'll realize that you were never there, or that the dream wasn't real, and that you never really told me that you loved me. I hope you still love me. It's okay if you don't. I understand, big boy. I do. But, I still love you. And I hope you're okay with that._

From Castiel: _I don’t like the memories of us anymore before the tears come easily and once again I break my promise to you that I’ll never leave you and it’s a constant battle between keeping those happy memories. It’s a war between remembering and forgetting. I don’t want to forget you, Dean, but I don’t want to think about you because then I’ll think about how much you ache without me._

From Castiel: _& I want to be strong, I really do. But I can’t help bursting sometimes, because I just don’t know how things will get better without you._

From Castiel: _I imagine you beside me constantly. Cradling me and telling me it’s okay. But you’re not here, so I cry, and I ache on the inside, and I start to wonder again why I’m still breathing._

From Castiel:  _I remember us and when we adopted Ebony. It was such a beautiful day that day. I just smiled. I haven't smiled in more than two years. Can you believe that? You probably can't. You probably smile and laugh with who you're with now. I hope they're wonderful. Just wonderful, Dean Winchester, because I wasn't. I screwed up your life, and I didn't ever really deserve you. No, not really. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my sudden absence in your life, and I hope that absence has been filled by someone else. Though, if it hasn't, I'm sorry. Find someone. I'm not coming back. We both know that._

From Castiel: _He almost beat me to death today. I don’t think I can send another letter. Don’t think I died. Though.. I might have. I’m sorry. You probably didn’t want to hear that. I hope you’re okay, big boy. Have I told you lately that I love you? I’m sorry.. I haven’t. I love you, Dean Winchester. Listen to Elvis for me. Goodbye._

Dean had told same about the letters, and Sam got some of his Stanford friends to look into it. And finally, Sam had news. “He has another house, Dean!” Sam exclaimed. “They’re getting the cops down there right now to go get Cas. He’ll be back. He’s coming back.”

But it was all too much for Cas.

It had been three years and he hadn’t seen Dean.

He’d gone longer before, but this was different. He couldn’t leave the house.  He didn’t know where he was. Hell, he barely knew what time it was half the time. His last letter made it to Dean’s before the cops came by.

From your beloved angel, Castiel: _I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take only having pictures of you and only having my dreams and memories of you to tell me that I should keep breathing. I have the rope beside me right now. Endlessly, okay? Okay, Dean? I love you. Endlessly. Even after death. Just.. please.. keep living.. don’t.. do it..please.. – From ,your darling, your angel, your fiancé, Castiel_

The cops showed up to a hanging body.

 

 

 

“Cas, why did you do it? We were almost there…” Dean cried to a photo of Cas sleeping. He taken the picture as a joke, but he kept it, because Cas was just too peaceful and amazing.

A month went by and Dean tried to keep the promise Castiel wanted him to  keep. But he couldn’t stand it. Before, there was a possibility of finding Cas, but now.. now there was nothing. He didn’t have letters to look forward to. No new pictures to look at. No new words to listen to in his head.

He called his baby brother one last time.

“Heya, Sammy..” He chuckled through tears, taking a swig of bear.

“I’m sorry.”

He heard Sam’s frown.

“For what?” Sammy asked.

But Dean didn’t answer.

He just set the phone away and put the metal to his temple.

“You were my angel.. my angel, Cas.. and now you're gone.. Endlessly, my angel. Endlessly, Cas.” He sighed in relief.

The sound of a gunshot could be heard over the phone and then there was nothing.


	21. After

 

 ** _“Dean?”_** Was the first word Cas said. He was sitting in their Paris apartment. Ebony was still a kitten. He remembered everything. He knew this was heaven and he didn’t know why, but he just knew.

Dean looked down at his body and clothes.

They weren’t covered in his own blood like he expected.

“Cas.” He breathed in awe, and then he was taking a step forward, and he was still disoriented, but then he was realizing that his angel was there. Actually there.

“I missed you so much..” Cas walked up and kissed him softly, long, no tongue, nothing sexual to it. He just needed to touch him. Needed to be next to him.

“I’ve been waiting three years..” Cas sighed into his lips, pressing his forehead against Dean’s chest, crying softly in his arms.

But the fact that he didn’t say that it was just three years is what hurts.

Because he wasn’t living those past three years.

He was waiting.

Waiting for Dean.

And now he found him.

And now he was there.

“I know, Cas.. me too, baby, me too..” Dean breathing, breathing in Cas’ smell. He had craved it like it was a drug. “We found your body.. and I came home. To you. You’re my home, my angel, my heaven.” He kissed Cas tenderly, wanting to feel Cas’ lips on his after so long.

Cas’ lips, though, quivered into a smile.

“He took me and I couldn’t do anything.. I missed you so much, and..” Cas sniffled, kissing him again. “I’m sorry.. I couldn’t deal without you being with me. I dreamt of us getting married.. and I never thought I would see you again..” He sobbed, going on and on. “I want to see Alaska with you and marry you, please, Endlessly..”

“Endlessly.” Dean repeated and pulled Cas into a protective hug.

“I don’t know how haven works, Cas, but I’ll find a way for us to go see Alaska. I promise.” He said into the mess of black hair against his lips. “Hey, now the tattoo I got fits literally.” Cas chuckled through his crying.

He was shaking, happy tears falling from his eyes and down his cheeks.

“You got a tattoo for me?” He asked, voice cracking, eyes looking up at him, lips spreading into a shaky smile.

Dean didn’t let his frown show as he said “On the day you.. yeah.. it’s a.. Here.” He pulled the back of his shirt over his head to reveal his shoulders, but kept his sleeves on. He turned around and said, “It’s a feather. What yours would’ve been if you were an angel..”

Cas smiled shakily, putting his hand against that tattoo.

“I was gonna make everyone pies..” He chuckled a bit, then sniffled, but didn’t stop crying.

“I’m a mess, I know..” Cas said, pressing up against Dean as much as he could. He really didn’t want sex right now. He was too tired. He just wanted to be close to him. To be in his arms.

Dean just took his shirt off and turned around in Cas’ arms. He pulled him as close as possible and just held him.

Cas was with him again.

He was fine.

Perfect, really.

 _They_ were together even though death made them part for a bit.

And damn, he was happy again.


	22. End.

**Sam had to travel overseas to get Ebony and arrange a funeral for Dean and Cas.**

He made it so that Cas and Dean had the same funeral and were buried together.

He thought Dean would like that.

Jess took care of Ebony.

Elena was too much to handle, so they gave her back, no matter what they thought Dean and Cas would say.

The impala was shipped over to the US to Sam’s house.

It just collected dust in the garage and Sam hated having it there because it was a constant grim reminder that Dean was dead. But he knew Dean would want it there.

He played _Have I Told You Lately That I Love You_ at their funeral and Jess cried.

Cas’ father was taken into custody and convicted of child abuse and kidnapping.

Nothing was ever the same without Dean and Cas around. Holidays were dull. Every one of them. Never the same. Sam and Jess knew how in love they were, and it was sad to know that they were dead because of each other. Which was in a good way. They were dead because they wanted to be with each other.

“They killed themselves to be together. That’s what love is.” Was what Jess had said at the funeral.

And she was right.

She didn’t know it, but they really were together again.

**“That’s what love is.”**

_Endlessly._

_Endless-_

_Endle-_

_End._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it.


End file.
